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(421 Posts)
yellowmellw Thu 10-May-18 11:56:13

Went for my 12 week today and baby had stopped growing at 8+4. They are giving me a week to see if things move on their own. Don't know how to feel but so feel guilty

edinbeezer Thu 10-May-18 13:12:05

@yellowmellw I'm so sorry for your loss. I had a mmc at just over 6 weeks. It was hard but I'm now through it (had surgery 3 weeks ago) and feeling better every day. I felt guilty too but the midwife told me that the outcome of that pregnancy was decided at the moment of conception and there was nothing that could have been done, nor did I do anything to jeopardise the pregnancy myself. I found this very comforting and now I can start to think about trying again. Here if you need a chat. X

Pampl3m0usse Thu 10-May-18 18:38:26

hello yellow. I was due in December too but scan showed the baby had died at 8+4. I've been having heavy bleeding for ten days which they insisted was cervical erosion but I was convinced was not.
I insisted on active management in part because I've three small children at home and ASAP full time teaching job and just want it done with, in part because I'm 34 today (great birthday present sad ) and want to try again ASAP. I'm going in for medical management tomorrow. I feel bad because this baby wasn't planned and we were initially unsure we would keep it. also it's due date was the first anniversary of my mum's suicide. all seems a bit much sometimes but I'm working on the basis I am very lucky already and in twelve months time the sadness will have faded and I'll hopefully be pregnant with another one.

yellowmellw Thu 10-May-18 19:14:48

So sorry to hear this, your story is similar to mine. My baby died at 8+4 which I found out today about. They are making me wait a week before deciding on what to do. It must be nhs criteria here.

I haven't started the miscarriage process yet I just hope it happens this week so I can deal with it as best I can. Feel so sad about it all. It was also unplanned but we were so happy about it. I'm just in that mode where I'm sorting the practicalities such as cancelling further scans and telling people etc.

Ps my mum died by suicide also but it was a number of years ago.

Mrsbroodymamma Fri 11-May-18 13:23:30

Sorry to hear of your losses I can't begin to imagine how painful it must be. Can I ask if you had a lack of regular pregnancy symptoms leading up to your losses?

edinbeezer Fri 11-May-18 14:00:06

@Mrsbroodymamma Hello. I didn't suffer any loss of symptoms at all, if anything they were stronger. I went along to the EPU after bleeding and the scan revealed that the baby was the right size but that the heartbeat was too slow. I had to wait 2 weeks for the follow up scan and because I continued to feel sick and exhausted I was almost convinced everything was going to be OK. Bodies can be very cruel.

PineapplePrincess Fri 11-May-18 14:41:23

Hey guys. Can I join you? In the same boat, miscarriage diagnosed this morning via private scan. Need to go back to NHS for a second scan tomorrow. Suppose to be 10+3, but measuring 8+4 with no HB.

Devastated. Can’t believe I let myself get my hopes up.

Pampl3m0usse Fri 11-May-18 14:49:07

Of course Pineapple but I'm very sorry you have to join this unhappy club. Hopefully we will all have much better news in a few months time.
I went in for medical management today and was rather proud of myself for giving the EPU team what for for leaving me to wait in the waiting room with lots of pregnant ladies for forty minutes when I'd told the receptionist I was in for miscarriage management.
I'm probably less upset than I might have been as I've had bleeding and lack of symptoms for weeks and was convinced all was not well, but I did see the heartbeat repeatedly and beyond 8 weeks so I think I was just very unlucky.
Hope you're all doing OK xx

PineapplePrincess Fri 11-May-18 15:32:28

Oh @Pampl3m0usse, that’s just awful - how could they be so insensitive. I’m glad you gave them whatsfor, did the at least apologise?

How is the medical management going?

I’m opting for ERPC if I can wait it out till they have a theatre space. Fourth miscarriage now, previous at 10wks, 6wks and CP. My 10wks last year I ended up in and out of hospital, so hoping to avoid the same this time.

I can’t stop crying. You would think after so many, I would handle it better. I’m so angry at myself for raising my hopes and thinking this one would work out.

Pampl3m0usse Fri 11-May-18 16:18:54

they just said "oh we were supposed to be offering miscarrying women a separate space now". no real apology.
it sounds like you've had a really tough time. do you have any children yet?
pretty uncomfortable but more worried its not going to work. I found out on my birthday yesterday and supposed to be going out tomorrow so just want things moving so i can get on with life.
how long do you need to wait for a theatre spot? xx

PineapplePrincess Fri 11-May-18 16:42:06

They sound hopeless! Gah!

I have DS who is 4 and desperate for a sibling; he would make an amazing big brother. After three years of trying, this was supposed to be our last try. I turned 42 on Monday there (happy birthday to us!flowers) so hubby is worried we’re just getting too old now. Had managed to convince him, one more go.

I’m conflicted now, TTC is what’s got me through the last year; I’m not sure how to just give up. That and maybe we’ll finally get referred to recurrent miscarriage clinic - have battled the last six months to get seen, to no avail! Maybe if they could find something, giving up now would be wrong?

Hospital won’t confirm theatre availability till tomorrow but said likely to be Friday next week at the earliest. Bleeding is getting heavier, but not yet period like yet - so not sure how the week is going to go.

I can only imagine you have your hands full with 3 DC and this. xx

Pampl3m0usse Fri 11-May-18 17:08:49

we had told them so they're being lovely but sad, the eldest two (5 and 7) have lovely teachers who have steered them through the day.
I'm so sorry you're having to wait so long. my bleeding isn't period like yet either and I was cramping but that's calmed down... Im pretty convinced I'll be back again Monday. I have my mum's inquest next wednesday so just want it done with.
I really hope you get a referral. can you ask for them to test the baby to see if there are any obvious issues?
I'm 34 but DH almost 40... he's being OK (for now) about not feeling too old. this baby wasn't planned but was due on the anniversary of mum's suicide so it's all a bit much at the moment.
I teach nursery children full time and have a lot of heavily pregnant parents at the moment so not looking forward to going back to work....

PineapplePrincess Fri 11-May-18 19:00:49

Bless your two oldest, hope they’re doing okay. It’s hard for us to comprehend, not sure how kids process it. But at least they can understand and support you.

I can only image the stress you are under with your Mum’s inquest. flowers

It’s strange how dates work out, or maybe our logic in trying to rationalise them). I started miscarrying last year on the one year anniversary of my Mum’s death, and was convinced it was some kind of punishment - still do to a point! I spent most of the week of my son’s 3rd birthday in hospital leading up to the ERPC, I had to discharge myself to attend his party and then go back in the next morning the pain was so bad!

I have cramping that comes and goes at the moment. Not taken any painkillers yet, not sure when to crack them open go have the best effect.

Mind is playing games too, going over things or toying with half made plans that will now be shelved. Just wish I could go to sleep and wake up from the bad dream!?!

Norwood86 Fri 11-May-18 22:27:55

Sadly it's looking the same for me. Had a private scan Sun should have been 8w, measured 6w3d with no HB. I knew I'd lost all symptoms but still had an early scan for that bit of hope. I'm at my local EPAU on Mon. Really hoping they won't make me wait as I know it'll be the same outcome, and carrying a baby with no HB for a week has been so tough! sad
Would the EPAU be able to sign me off sick? Work have allowed me this past week off but there is no way I could go back to my job yet! sad

Pampl3m0usse Sat 12-May-18 05:46:33

princess i know about the punishment thing. I started bleeding the day before my grans funeral at which we also buried my mum's ashes. I spent the church service saying (in my head) to them both "you're not having this baby, he's mine".

hopefully in a bit of time when you've fallen again it will feel more bad dream like? that's what I keep telling myself anyway.

so medical management has done absolutely nothing for me so now going to call gynea this morning.

I actually said to the midwife if had a failed induction before and was it the same sort of drugs "no different drugs" I was told. but they're still prostaglandins so work in the same way which she negleglected to tell me (I don't even know if she knew). I really need this sorted before Wednesday;sad

Pampl3m0usse Sat 12-May-18 05:49:30

Norwood are they making you wait to check no growth / heartbeat? if so take the private scan report with you so you have the evidence from that and they don't insist on checking again in another week independently. your gp will sign you off and pregnancy related sickness doesn't count towards your sick record. I had ten days of heavy bleeding and was sure everything was going tits up so got signed off. I teach and it's a fortnight until half term. I won't be going back until after the hols. x

Cleozeta Sat 12-May-18 09:21:01

Hi, I have also had a mmc. I was supposed to be 10+2 yesterday but found out baby had only made it to 6+5 (we saw heartbeat at 6+4). So gutted. I'm 41 and we were trying for over a year for this baby, not sure we'll get another chance.

Last night I had really strong cramps and bleeding became heavy. Then cramps faded and this norning have completely gone. I have not had many clots so I know it's not over yet. I really just want this done now. Going back for another scan next Friday as the baby measured less than 7mm they like to make sure its not just incorrect dates. I know it isn't but I'd like the scan anyway just to make sure everything has cleared and if it hasn't I can get help.

I hope everyone is coping ok. Mmc's are so cruel. And surprisingly common. Stats on this are totally incorrect. They say 1% of pregnancies end in mmc. I think they need to re-evauate this as it's clearly completely wrong / out of date.

Michelle0507 Sat 12-May-18 10:17:59

Yes checking on Mon, but I know nothing's changed. Yeah I have the report to take.
That's good to know, was a bit worried about being off longer. I don't want to be off and I know I need to be there to support the young people I work with but I just couldn't do it.
Didn't realise how common a silent misscarriage was. :*

PineapplePrincess Sat 12-May-18 12:56:32

Welcome @Cleozetta and @Michelle0507 - sorry you find yourself here. flowers

Ended up over four hours in A&E last night with DS and a perforated eardrum. Didn’t get out till after 2am. Then back for NHS scan this morning for them to confirm themselves the miscarriage.

I have a pre-op assessment Wednesday, and op scheduled for Friday PM. Tried to see if I could get a date sooner through work private policy, but they are giving time out to the following week.

Have asked for testing on whatever they remove to see if they can identify what’s gone wrong, as well as an immediate referral to reoccurant miscarriage clinic.

Hubby really not up for trying again. I think if they pin point a cause that could be treated, I may be tempted. But after three years trying and 42 (& 45), I’m wondering if we are just too old now.

Have told my boss that I won’t be in this week coming, and tempted to go to GP and get a further two weeks. My GP was very understanding last time, and I really can’t see me being able to function in work for a good while yet. Hoping to take the time and spend it with DS doing fun activities.

@Pamp3m0usse - how did you get on with the gynea?

Pampl3m0usse Sat 12-May-18 13:45:24

they said they will have another go with medical management tomorrow morning if nothing has happened by then... their position is that the drugs often take longer than 24 hours to work even though I was told 4-6 hours and all done within 24. to be honest I'm really struggling with it as I really need things sorted by Tuesday to be confident trAvelling 200 miles to this inquest. I'm sorry you're having to play the waiting game is your little chap today? xx

Pampl3m0usse Sat 12-May-18 21:37:42

how are you all doing? I was supposed to be going out for dinner with DH tonight but cancelled as didn't want to be bleeding heavily while out. we had a lovely meal at home and watched some of "the bridge" which id recorded and had a glass of wine. it was a relief to be normal for a while. back to hospital for more drugs in the morning. x

Michelle0507 Sat 12-May-18 22:14:44

I'm just so desperate for Monday a final answer and then I can get my life back. I know how selfish that sounds.
Glad to hear you've had a nice night.

Cleozeta Sun 13-May-18 08:17:34

I'm still waiting too. No more cramps or clots since Friday and not much bleeding either. It's almost like my body thinks the contractions I had on Friday have sorted it, but I really don't think I had enough blood or clots for it to have been 'the main event'. I'm wondering if body will try again or if I'll end up having to be 'assisted'. Wish it was just over.
Had a glass of wine and watched eurovision last night for normallity, but I keep bursting into tears at random moments.
Good luck with the drugs pampl, I hope it works

PineapplePrincess Sun 13-May-18 12:47:58

Cramping really badly at the moment. Coming as contractions, but with no real blood loss. At maximum tablet dosage, hoping they will have some impact soon; otherwise if this keeps up I’ll have to call the EPU.

Hubby has had to leave to take DS to the hospital, who has somehow perforated his eardrum. Spend 4hrs in A&E on Friday night with that, ear is now bleeding so managed to get a GP out of hours appointment.

Gah, why does everything happen at once!?!

Pampl3m0usse Sun 13-May-18 14:37:20

Michelle it doesn't sound selfish at all. I'm in a bit of a state as my second lot of medical management appears to have achieved nothing and the prospect of a week at home on my own is not filling me with delight under the circumstances. my boss also said she'd "hoped I was coming back" a week Tuesday which was the date I'd given when I was having bleeding but before id found out about the miscarriage.

Michelle0507 Sun 13-May-18 17:47:13

@pampl3m0usse oh no that isn't good. I've had tiny bits of bleeding today but nothing really. I am the same hate sitting by myself at home. Asked the other half to speak to his work about working from home but he's doing the bury your head in the sand thing.
I've only spoken to my Supervisor going to call my Boss tomorrow I'm sure she'll understand. I work for a Children's Charity and my job is so emotionally draining that right now I'd be crying on the kids! I aim to be back next week as it's a short week. X

Pampl3m0usse Mon 14-May-18 13:35:06

Michelle - thinking of you today. Hope that you manage to start getting the answers you need.
Cleozeta - have you had any more bleeding / clots? Are you sure you haven't passed it (see below....)
Pineapple - I saw your comment on your difficulties getting referred to the recurrent miscarriage on another thread. It sounds dreadful and I can see why you would feel like this trauma is unfair and unnecessary.

'Good' news from me. The EPU were about to book me in for surgical management (I saw the nicer of the two nurses who looked genuinely upset to see me there having scanned and found a healthy looking pregnancy at 6 and 8 weeks...) anyway they scanned and it looks like it's all gone, which means the relatively minimal clots I passed on Saturday must have been it.

I'm relieved but feel even more sad for some reason sad My stomach still looks a bit distended and bras not fitting particularly well, but with nothing to show for it.

I wrote myself a little letter about the difficulties I've had over the last two years but got through (DD's near-death sepsis and then severe allergy issues, redundancy, nightmare kitchen renovations, Mum's suicide, gran's death, job stress) highlighting the next six months, as well as my hopes and dreams and goals for the next six. Hopefully when I open it on my Mum's first anniversary / this baby's due date I'll be pregnant again and have managed some of the things listed.

Michelle0507 Mon 14-May-18 13:46:02

Goodness me you've been through so so much! 💔💔

Confirmed no change, stopped growing at 6w3d. I've decieded on surgical, due to me being upset she's asked me to call this eve to confirm. I'm in for preassesment tomorrow.
The SN at Chesterfield was AMAZING! She found me a side room so I didn't have to sit with people as she didn't feel it was appropriate. Everything I've asked for she's done, She's booked me a side room so my partner can stay. She's got me a 2 week sick note, feel awful for being off for 3 weeks in total. Work are completely fine with it.
The wait is nearly over! I'm a little like you still bras don't fit too well.x

PineapplePrincess Mon 14-May-18 15:16:28

Hey guy. Sorry to hear the second round of medical management isn’t working @Pampl3m0usse. I’m currently trialling my first round, three hours in and no sign of movement.

Pain got really bad yesterday, I got admitted to hospital. Took an allergic reaction to first round of pain killers they gave me; my eyes got so swollen I could hardly see out. Then fainted in the middle of the treatment room with the pain. Only thing that touched the pain was a full dose of liquid morphine, and even then that just took the edge off.

No joy in moving forward date for ERPC, so have been reluctantly talked into medical management. So far have had the internal tablets and just taken the oral ones. Not sure what to expect.

Understand the random bursting into tears @Cleozeta. I was a bit like that Fri/Sat. You forget for a bit, then something random triggers you. I’ve gone thru my Facebook account and deleted all maternity/baby related pages that are going to pop up and surprise me.

@Michelle0507, how has today scans gone? flowers

PineapplePrincess Mon 14-May-18 15:28:38

Son, missed the most recent posts (either due to slow hospital internet connection or me not realising they were over the page!)

*@Pampl3m0use*, that would be ‘good’ news in your’ve passed everything. I know what you mean about distended stomach, just a few days ago I was affectionally patting my, thinking it was proof that the pregnancy was advancing. It’s so unfair.

Letter is a good idea. I was counting up my losses; in the last five years I’ve lost my Mum, Dad, dog, and four pregnancies. When I think of it like that, I think sometimes I’m unfair on myself - it’s a lot to go through in a relatively short space of time, I should cut myself some slack. Same for you *@Pampl3m0use*, give yourself some credit for managing your hard times, it shows how strong you are; but equally it’s okay not to be for a bit.

@Michelle0507, have you got a date for your ERPC? Hospital sound like they have been really supportive. xxx

PineapplePrincess Mon 14-May-18 15:29:55

^Oops not son

Gah, I’m not doing well today!

Pampl3m0usse Mon 14-May-18 15:31:43

@Michelle0507 I think I've had my dose of sh*t for the next decade, at least....
I'm really pleased you've managed to get booked in for surgical. I think if this happens again I might go down that route as at least I know its dealt with then.
The lovely nurse who I'd seen yesterday saw me waiting in the EPU fwith all of the pregnant ladies and looked horrified and rushed me off to a side room (the receptionist again failed to offer this even though I told her why I was there; I hadn't the energy to battle). I'm taking another fortnight off work (I'm a teacher and teach nursery children, I just don't have the emotional or physical energy to cope with them right now).
@PineapplePrincess I'm so sorry that you've had a bad run of things with the pain. I think I got slightly luck on that front (assuming the scan was right and everything really has passed now). It looks like the clots that I got Saturday night (36 hours after my first dose) were indeed everything; apparently your womb / cervix can be less responsive to the drugs if you've already got children. I also deleted all of the facebook related stuff, but I'm still getting automatic ads on things which is a bit depressing.
@Cleozeta how are you feeling today?I've been trying to chivvy myself along although if anything feel more emotional. I think hormones are probably not helping in that respect as I tend to get awful angry PMT.

Cleozeta Mon 14-May-18 16:07:33

Pampl, it sounds like you have had so much shit thrown at you recently, you deserve some luck. Fingers crossed for you.
I'm glad everything has cleared for you now. I'm hopeful that is what has happened to me too. I had so much pain and cramping on Friday, I was expecting more stuff to come out! But I find it weird how I've had nothing since. No more cramps at all and I'm starting to feel normal again (physically). Bleeding is like a medium period. Maybe everything has passed. I really hope so. I guess I'll find out at scan on Friday.
I took a pregnancy test earlier, just out of curiosity and its still a strong positive. But I've no idea how long it would take to go negative?
Still feeling upset at random moments, I'm not sure if its the hormones or the disappointment and sadness, or both. I just dont want to be near anyone or talk to anyone in real life, I just want to hide. Hopefully that will pass.
What are you all doing to help cope?

Michelle0507 Mon 14-May-18 16:39:33

Hi lovelies, I've just rang booked in for Thurs as Weds is busy and I won't care she feels I need. I have a huge phobeia of blood, needles & hospitals like you have never known, I embarrass myself so I've requested a side room so my partner can stay etc. She was so lovely when I just rang. She was like I'm not on tomorrow but they're aware. Luckily she's on, on Thurs and will look after me.

I've spoken with my work I work on a Children's talking therapy service (now they're offering it me) and they're just like forget about work and have the 2 full weeks off. It's just its SATs week and I know some kids need me. Always thinking of others.

Take care ladies. Huge hug x x

Mistymeow Mon 14-May-18 18:31:34

Hi- I've been posting on a couple of other threads but I thought I would also post here, in the hope that I can help (I had a MMC diagnosed 4 weeks ago)

@Michelle0507 I'm glad they were so supportive at the Chesterfield EPU. I had an ERPC too (in my local hospital in Surrey) and I was treated with such care and attention. I'm sure you will receive the same.

I understand about being off work alone, although I also work from home too, so altogether it's been a rather isolating exerperience. I actually decided to do the gardenening in my week off, as I found myself getting stuck in bed (and having my husband lift me out). There was something about the process of doing something a bit physical whilst not blocking out the event which I found therapeutic. I'm 2 weeks since my ERPC and getting there, although today I walked into a waiting room full of mums and their newborns, it caught me off guard and I could feel myself getting upset. I had to remind myself that it wasn't my baby, it's not the same. Even though physically I feel back to normal, emotionally it will take longer.

Pampl3m0usse Tue 15-May-18 11:31:46

@Cleozeta I did a pregnancy test this morning and it was still a strong positive too. I was told to expect it to be negative by three weeks in hospital, but from what I'd read it should be by two weeks. It really upset me this morning as I just want to move on and (probably wholly unreasonably) don't really want to go back to work until my cycles have sorted out. Given I'm feeling very emotional I don't think working with 77 three and four year olds is a particularly good idea right now anyway.... I'll be thinking of you as the week comes to a close and keeping everything crossed that you're all done.
I felt similar and went to my son's swimming gala this morning and actively tried to avoid people but then managed to tell someone for the first time without crying. When I picked him up yesterday four of my close friends gave me a hug, which helped a bit.
@PineapplePrincess how are you doing today? Medical management seem to be doing anything?
@Michelle0507 I'm really pleased that you've had such sensitive treatment at such a difficult time. And it's fine to be needle phobic etc (obviously not fine for you but please don't feel embarrassed).
@Mistymeow I used to work from home and sometimes struggled with it even without this to deal with. I'm keeping myself busy in order to keep going at the moment. Just cleaned the whole house! Have a list of jobs for each day to help me get through. Hoping next week to get ahead of myself with some teaching prep so that things will be a bit gentler when I do go back. I've made it my '6 month' resolution not to do myself in with working so hard (60 hour weeks the norm plus I've a 1, 5 and 7 year old).

I wonder if anyone has any advice? My whole abdominal area is a bit tender, especially if I press a bit (!). I'm a bit concerned it might be the start of an infection but - equally - don't want to take antibiotics if I can avoid it......

I hope we can keep things up on the thread for a while. I had a look at one of the TTC after miscarriage ones and it made me cry, I definitely don't feel emotionally ready for 'thinking pregnant' yet....

Cleozeta Tue 15-May-18 12:16:56

Thanks pampl, yeah I've heard 2--3 weeks for negative test, but I think it can vary so much. I just want to get a normal cycle back now!
Well done for telling people and talking, I think that's where I'm struggling. I really don't want to have to tell anyone, but maybe it might help.
I'm trying to feel a bit more positive about things today.
Although I had a look at ttc after mc thread too, decided I'm not ready to get involved in that quite yet. More time required...
Have you got any more check ups at the hospital or have you been discharged now? Your discomfort may just be an after reaction. It's been through a lot recently and may just need some time to recoperate

Michelle0507 Tue 15-May-18 12:30:48

I feel a bit like it's hit me today, like "this is happening" even though I've been desperate for treatment.
I've had some odd stomach pains and slight brown marks when I wipe.

May be worth giving EPAU a call if you think you have an infection better to be safe.

I hope this thread keeps going also, as you've all been so helpful and amazing.

Michelle0507 Tue 15-May-18 20:41:02

Well you couldn't make it up, been for pre assesment at 6pm got home and the bleeding had started fully! I'm in quite a bit of pain I've had paracetamol & brufen and sat with a wheat bag, any more tips ladies?
Rang EPAU said to stay at home while ever I can. If I think I've passed it to ring in the morning and go on for a scan.
Things are getting real.

Pampl3m0usse Tue 15-May-18 21:19:47

oh bless you. so hard to be geared up for one thing and end up with another. I passed things without too much discomfort but found walking around helped as well as a bath...

Michelle0507 Tue 15-May-18 21:38:56

Thank you.

Now I'm at this stage I hope to just pass it all. Although my sideroom with ensuite and free tv did sound lovely! Got to find some positives!

Cleozeta Tue 15-May-18 22:13:23

Hope you are ok michelle. The physical side of things mixed with the emotional on top is so tough.
For the pain I took codimol (?) It's a mixture of codine and paracetamol I think. Quite strong but still over the counter. I also had a hot water bottle on the pain which helped a bit.
I hope it all passes quickly for you

Michelle0507 Wed 16-May-18 10:45:01

Not much happened over night - which shocked me. Woke up in a fair bit of pain, had some tablets think I'll be trying a bath next.

Pampl3m0usse Wed 16-May-18 16:48:07

michelle Cleo pineapple how are you all doing? just on my way back on the 200 mile journey from mum's inquest. exhausted. on a positive note the bleeding is lessening!

PineapplePrincess Wed 16-May-18 17:17:48

Hey all. Hope everyone is okay today.

Medical management on Monday didn’t allow me to pass anything naturally, but did allow doctor to eventually access and remove everything. Was not the most pleasant of experiences, but at least it is over. Waiting for bleeding to subside, but mostly like a heavy period.

Spent yesterday with DS and today lazily soaking up the sun. Everything feels a bit surreal.

Hope your Mum’s inquest went okay, and the journey has not been too stressful @Pampl3m0usse.

Hope you are okay @Michelle0507. If the pain gets too bad, call EPU - don’t be afraid to go in and get stronger meds.

Cleozeta Wed 16-May-18 17:24:58

Glad the bleeding is lessening pampl, thats a really good sign.
I am still holding out for Friday's scan to see whats going on, but I've had nothing since Friday except medium bleeding.
Pineapple - glad it is over for you now. I know what you mean about it being surreal, the whole thing really is.
Michelle - hope you are ok

Michelle0507 Wed 16-May-18 17:53:29

The pain is getting too much, think I am going to have to ring them.
I seem to be spending most time sat on the toilet as it eases a little. I get a really bad pain about every 20 min that lasts a short while, maybe like a contraction.
So much pain but not a lot of bleeding! sad

Michelle0507 Wed 16-May-18 17:54:18

@pampl3m0usse hope it went as well as it can.

PineapplePrincess Wed 16-May-18 18:15:51

@Michelle0507, please call EPU. I know from experience the pain can very quickly get out of control, even with little bleeding.

Littlegoth Wed 16-May-18 18:17:54

@Pampl3m0usse exactly the same for me, they were so sure it was cervical erosion but a private scan showed no heartbeat and I miscarried on Sunday. Tests show a uti, didn’t even know I had one as no symptoms. Feeling a bit down today - it was supposed to be my first midwife appointment and instead was sat with all the lucky pregnant people awaiting a second blood test to confirm my miscarriage.

I’m having wine tonight.

Littlegoth Wed 16-May-18 18:18:32

Hope you are all ok today xx

Michelle0507 Wed 16-May-18 18:35:54

I've rang EPAU she won't let me go. She says I have to go to A&E no way can I sit in A&E!

Cleozeta Wed 16-May-18 21:35:34

Michelle I had the same thing, a lot of pain but not much bleeding. It eased off and I've had nothing since. I feel normal now so hoping somehow, it's finished. I understand why you would not want to go to A& E, the thought of not only being there - but making the journey in that pain would be a no go for me. Hope you are ok x

Cleozeta Wed 16-May-18 21:37:30

Littlegoth - I understand. I'm having wine tonight too.

Michelle0507 Wed 16-May-18 22:05:46

@cleozeta I think I've passed the foetus. I was having contraction like pains where I had to sit on the toilet, I sat down and heard the most almighty plop, when I looked there was a large bloody blob. I guess I'll find out in the morning.
Cocodamol helped the pain.
Not looking forward to being nil by mouth from midnight in case I still need the op tomorrow. I'd be stunned if I do.
I'll update you all tomorrow.

Hope you're all well. Thinking of you all x

Cleozeta Wed 16-May-18 22:31:22

Sounds like you're done. Hopefully the pains will ease off now.
I had a plop on friday night but it didn't seem dramatic enough to the the main event, and I didn't see much as it sank.
Although the pain did ease afterwards. I'll find out on Friday.
Good luck for tomorrow, I hope it's finished for you

Littlegoth Wed 16-May-18 22:54:44

@michelle0507 that sounds right - thinking of you and hope you don’t need intervention xx

PineapplePrincess Wed 16-May-18 23:43:44

@Michelle0507 can’t believe they just referred you A&E. Our EPU is attached to a gynaecology ward; so they accept emergencies direct. Hope everything has passed and the pain has eased off.

@Cleozeta fingers crossed for you also.

{{{hugs all round}}}

Michelle0507 Thu 17-May-18 09:02:03

I haven't passed it so waiting to go.

The staff today aren't very nice

PineapplePrincess Thu 17-May-18 10:26:12

So sorry @Michelle0507, it’ll all be over soon. Are you still scheduled for ERPC today?

It all comes down to the people who care for you. I can’t understand why some can be so horrid. Good nursing staff makes such a difference. Feel free to vent. flowers

I’ve got a sick line for another two weeks today, after a visit to the doctors this morning. Hasn’t been a good day so far. I couldn’t sleep last night with thoughts whirring through my mind, then burst into tears dropping DS at nursery to a pregnant nursery worker. Headed to the doctors to see all the pregnant ladies waiting on their midwifes appointment, and then had to sit though sad songs on the radio in the doctors reception. By the time I made it in to the doctor I was in floods of tears. I think he would have gladly signed me off for the rest of the year!

Pampl3m0usse Thu 17-May-18 11:38:49

LittleGoth I'm so sorry you;ve had to go through this too. I actually had genuine cervical erosion in my first three pregnancies, which is how I couldn't quite believe the diagnosis this time (there was so much blood).
Michelle that sounds pretty much like what happened with me. Part of me feels like I should've taken a proper look but my DH flushed it away as it was all a bit distressing. I'm so sorry they just referred you to A&E that doesn't sound helpful at all. (Sorry just read further down) so sad for you that they aren't being sensitive. So rubbish. I think medical staff get desensitised to all of this.
Princess what an awful start to the day for you. Fingers crossed for a sunnier afternoon.

News in Pamplemousse land: I went for a coffee with a good friend today and talked through some stuff which was lovely.

Yesterday's inquest was horrible. The mental health service's solicitor asked me directly "why I hadn't been in touch with the mental health service directly myself" given I was so sure that my Mum was going to commit suicide (she was making specific threats). I live 200 miles away, work full time and have a 1, 5 and 7 year old. I also had 25+ years of battling with my Mum's mental health issues, which had a significant effect on my own mental health so have worked hard to protect myself. i made my concerns known to my brother who had the same concerns and told the mental health team repeatedly. My Mum made the same threats to the mental health team. Anyway the solicitor kept on with this line of questioning for several minutes despite me being in tears and until the coroner told him to button it. I'm seriously making a formal complaint though - I'm strong enough to deal with it but I didn't appreciate the implication that my Mum's care was lacking because of something I hadn't done. So all in all a pretty difficult day.

Michelle0507 Thu 17-May-18 14:11:30

Hi Ladies,

I'm feeling 80% human, assume it went well. Just had my tea and toast.
Never got my pain killers I asked for at 7am went down at 10. Theatre staff were amazing. The two health cares have been fab. Nurse is hit and miss.

Now to wait for discharge.

PineapplePrincess Fri 18-May-18 11:14:26

How are you feeling today @Michelle0507? Hopefully you got home okay and everything has settled down.

@Pampl3m0usse, sorry to hear of your rough time at the inquest. Sounds like solicitor is trying to deflect blame. I'm sure you would have done everything in your power; and it definitely sounds like you've had a horrendous time and your hands were completely full without the stresses of your Mum. We're not good on mental health in this country, I vividly remember some of the battles I had with my parents as we came to terms with their dementia diagnoses. Even the supposed experts were woefully inept at understanding the condition.

@Cleozeta I hope you're doing okay today flowers

And @Littlegoth welcome, sorry you find yourself here also.

Michelle0507 Fri 18-May-18 11:31:02

I got home at 3pm, felt okay. Struggled to sleep constantly felt hot but don't think I had a temp.
Don't feel good today, weird head ache and just can't pin point it to something. Thanks for asking @pineappleprincess

Pampl3m0usse Fri 18-May-18 12:38:26

@Michelle0507 really hope that you start to feel a little better soon. I was thinking of you yesterday evening, the first few days afterwards are tough, and it sounds like you have a lot of physical stuff to deal with on top of the emotional side.
@Cleozeta and @Littlegoth thinking of you both today. Do drop in if you feel able. I think you're all doing remarkably well all things considered....
@PineapplePrincess how are you doing today? It's beautiful and sunny here... hope you have some time to 'enjoy' the weather (better than grey and miserable I'm thinking). You're right about mental health, I feel better today although still annoyed at solicitor's lousy behaviour which was apparently under instructions from the psychiatrist (glad she isn't caring for my mental health is all I can say!!!).
I went to have my eyebrows done today and then had a wander around John Lewis baby department and had a bit of a sob! Probably too soon but trying to brave things rather than avoid them....


Cleozeta Fri 18-May-18 15:24:02

Pample sorry you are having such a hard time with things on top of all this mc stuff. I must say, going around a baby section was a brave move! I'd have been blubbing too.

Michelle I have been getting headaches too. I think it's to do with a sudden drop in hormones. Yesterday I had a stinking headache all day and then burst into tears when taking my daughter to dance class (I have no idea why).

Today I went for my scan at EPU and was told there was still stuff there (I kind of knew that anyway) and so I was booked into medical management starting on Sunday. I had a look through the information sheet and it looked horrendous. My body obviously agreed, as just as I was walking out of the hospital it all came out. One mahoosive clot the size of my hand. So tomorrow I need to go back and see if that was the lot and hopefully cancel the medical management!
Nice and dramatic for a sunny friday morning.

PineapplePrincess Fri 18-May-18 19:18:21

Good to know you’re home @Michelle0507. Likely you’ll be out of sorts for a few days; while it’s a minor op, the anaesthetic takes its toll.

@Pampl3m0usse, yay! on the eyebrows, boo! on the baby department. You’re brave, I don’t think I’d have made it out of there in one piece!?!

@Cleozeta fingers crossed it has all passed and you get the all clear tomorrow.

I’ve had a meh day. Done nothing, achieved nothing and generally felt sad and mopey all day. Need to snap out of it, but not sure how.

Tempted to try counselling. Tempted to consider TTC again (I must be mad), but only if tests can reveal a cause and support. And I can convince my DH. Gah!

Cleozeta Fri 18-May-18 19:26:12

Pineapple I was a bit like that yesterday, it's rubbish isn't it. I think it may be part hormone, and part what we've been through.
I'm feeling a bit more positive today after hopefully finishing up the mc. I feel I'm getting closer to moving on. Will definitely be ttc again straight away. At 41 and having been diagnosed as perimenopausal before my bfp I feel I have no time to waste. Come on eggs, back to it.

PineapplePrincess Fri 18-May-18 19:48:49

Yeah @Cleozeta, just couldn’t find any motivation today. Brain feels like it’s punishing me; reminding me of ‘when I was pregnant’ or reminding me why I can/can’t do something now I’m not pregnant. I just was to scream for it to stop!

I feel like I need something to focus on, some light at the end of the tunnel. TTC has been that for me previously, hope amongst all the devastation. The idea of TTC being off the table just makes me despair at the moment.

But after 4 losses and turning 42 (just last week!) the odds are against me. My only sliver of hope is the tests on the pregnancy reveal something; or they run some tests on me and find something and it can be treated/controlled.

DH is dead set against trying. I really had to convince him this time; I’m not sure I can this time.

Cleozeta Fri 18-May-18 20:10:33

Oh that sounds harsh. 4 losses? I hope they find a reason. Maybe it's something as simple as needing to take aspirin daily? Or progesterone cream? Or if its chromasomal you can take suppliments for egg quality like ubiquinol? Once you know the problem you can work with that. Don't give up!
I have decided to take aspirin and progesterone cream if I get another bfp. Neither will do any harm and I don't want to take any more chances!

Michelle0507 Sat 19-May-18 12:36:59

I am still feeling really rubbish but as mentioned above maybe it's my hormone levels. I just don't feel right, I'm not and sweaty. It can be 30.c and I'm still usually cold. Lol!
I've woken up with quite a few spots around my neck today which is usually hormone related. Suffering massively with my throat goodness knows what size tube they put down. Also having issues with where the cannula was inserted. Honestly it's just not my week, I have no real pain or bleeding it's just everything else.
Sorry for my moanyness!!
How is everyone else?

I'm feeling very much like I need another baby to heal my heart if that makes sense? Every tv programme seems to be someone getting pregnant etc it's just everywhere. I'm just sat her thinking I should be 10w tomorrow. sad x

Cleozeta Sat 19-May-18 13:46:32

Sorry to hear things are not good Michelle. I am not so good today either. I totally understand what you mean by its everywhere. I see it too. And I should be 12 weeks this week. Instead I'm starting my medical management. Took first tablet today and going in for top rate drama on Tuesday. Scan today revealed still loads left. I'm really nervous.

Michelle0507 Sat 19-May-18 14:16:33

Sorry to hear, when they scanned me I still had everything. I don't think I could have passed it naturally, would have been too upsetting. Although I had to sign to say what I wanted to happen with everything they removed, which shocked me and made it more real.x

Cleozeta Sat 19-May-18 14:55:33

I know, it's so upsetting isn't it. I just want another chance now.

Pampl3m0usse Sun 20-May-18 20:07:07

@Cleozeta how are you doing today? I hope the medical management hasn't been too traumatic. When I had my scan (after two lots) it looked like everything had gone, although after several days of no bleeding it appears to have started again (possibly because we DTD?) Anyway... my point being that assuming everything is gone mine was pretty uneventful. I felt crampy and wandered around my kitchen for an hour or two and then passed everything on the loo with fairly minimal physical discomfort. I'd read some horror stories so was expecting all sorts of gore at almost 10 weeks....
@Michelle0507 how are you today? I'm also erupting with spots. Even my not quite two year old delighted in pointing them out today. Also feeling super hormonal. I finished breastfeeding her on Friday night... I explained that she was a big girl now and she didn't need Mummy milk and she had a tiny whimper and then accepted cuddles / singing to sleep. She was such a star, but I'm feeling quite sad as I don't think I'd have forced it so soon if I wasn't desperate for another baby and sure it could impact on my fertility. Anyway boobs rock solid for the last couple of days so she was evidently drinking quite a lot at night still, which means it probably would have had an effect. Still sad though and extra hormonal.... I totally get what you mean about a healing baby.
I've felt utterly crap today. Had a strop about something minor but was really just sad that it should have been my 12 week scan this week and instead I'm here sad
@PineapplePrincess I really hope they manage to pinpoint something for you. It seems so unfair to think that this was your last experience of being pregnant. I'm sure your DH is just concerned about protecting you; maybe when you've both had a bit of healing time he will be keener to try again?

My brother in law (DH's brother) has apparently booked in for the snip (has two children, we have three already) and I heard second-hand was making hints that DH should 'go along with him'. Given that they know what I've been through (pregnancy and everything else) I'm pretty cross at the implied disapproval of us trying again. But maybe just being over-sensitive.

Cleozeta Sun 20-May-18 22:18:19

Ignore brother in law, if you want to try again thats your business! That would have annoyed me too.

My 2nd part of medical management is on Tuesday. Did you have anyone go with you for the hospital day? I planned to go alone, but a friend has just suggested that I'll probably need DH with me.

Pampl3m0usse Mon 21-May-18 08:40:33

quick one Cleo - sat at the doctors waiting for a sick note.
they told me they wouldn't do medical management unless I had someone to drive me there and back and with me all of that day..... hth x

Cleozeta Mon 21-May-18 09:34:01

Ah thank you pample. I was hoping to not have to put DH through any of this part, plus childcare is awkward! Will talk to them and see what they say

Pampl3m0usse Mon 21-May-18 10:32:21

Fingers crossed they won't insist on it. TBH was entirely unnecessary on my part... x

PineapplePrincess Mon 21-May-18 11:56:07

Morning guys. Took a few days out, had not a bad weekend; meeting up with friends. I’ve come to the conclusion I’m okay when busy and my minds off things; but not so good when I have time to dwell. Given I can’t ignore feelings or distract myself forever, not sure where that leaves me!

Everywhere I go there are pregnant people, people with newborns or people talking about babies. Took DS to hospital appointment today (same area of the hospital I went for scans and miscarriage, so that’s bad enough when this week would have been 12wks tomorrow) and the nurse that was tending to DS kept going on about her daughter who had a baby last week. Tried to be polite, but really wanted her to stop talking!?!

Reading lots and joined a few FB pages for miscarriages, and the more I read the more I want to try again. It’s like gluten for punishment.

Wish they would hurry up with the tests and referral. Just want to know what my chances are: and as ever, feel time is running out. Hubby is still not up for trying, finding it difficult to broach the subject.

@Cleozeta - I was told the same, that I needed a ride home (could be a taxi, but not preferable) and someone to stay with me for 24 hours afterward. If I couldn’t provide that then they wanted to keep me in or defer to another day.

@Pampl3m0usse - hope the docs appointment has gone okay.

Cleozeta Mon 21-May-18 12:13:22

Pineapple I totally understand. I feel the same. Always seeing pregnant people (I'm sure there are more now!!) And people always talking about babies. I'm struggling with that too. Desperate to try again as time is rapidly running out for me.

I have managed to arrange a lift home tomorrow and DH will be with me overnight, hopefully that will be enough. I don't want to put him through tomorrows experience in case it puts him off trying again!!!

Pampl3m0usse Mon 21-May-18 12:42:00

@Cleozeta glad you've got that sorted... I'd be inclined to say you had a neighbour in or some such if they start being fussy. How old are you (if you don't mind me asking?) I'm sure you'll have mentioned upthread. I've just turned 34 but DH is soon to be 40, which I'm aware has medical (sperm quality) implications and is also likely to put a limit on how long he's prepared to try for.
@PineapplePrincess hope your appointment with DS was OK apart from the pregnancy talk. To be honest I'm now at the point of coming out with it if someone blathers about babies and it upsets me. My lovely neighbour across the road has just come home with her newborn (I kept bumping into her heavily pregnant self heading in the the women's bit of hospital as I was going for all my EPU stuff. I have a nursery class and one of my Mum's has a newborn and two more are heavily pregnant. Not looking forward to dealing with that (where I can't be quite so blunt!).
Doctors was fine; they signed me off for the rest of the week and ordered blood tests to check my iron levels. Boss is now being very awkward about wanting a sick note to cover half term too even though I would be going into work if it wasn't half term. Actually resorted to speaking to Union rep who has confirmed that if the doctor says I'm fit for work I don't need a sick note over half term. It's all a bit ridiculous because even if I did get a sick note half term wouldn't count towards my sickness records in any way shape or form! I'm just waiting for the ticking off about being off sick I get when I go back if I'm honest (even though they know it's pregnancy related!!). Anyway mini rant over!!!

Michelle0507 Mon 21-May-18 13:35:30

Hi all,

Tried to have quite a normal weekend, bought plants for the garden planted them. Went out for a meal last night, first thing I see a New born baby! I'm just not hungry though, I'm eating portions a 5 year old would eat, hey ho!
Enjoying the sunshine in the garden today, even put a bikini top on, all my neighbours are old so they'll be horrified.

Glad you have someone to fetch you home and stay with you. I couldn't have gone though Thur without my Partner with me the whole time. sad

Rubbish about your work and the sick note I feel like I have been so lucky! My partner keeps saying you work for a Children's Charity and they're meant to be all about the child so they should understand!
Busy week for me at a Friend's daughters dance show tonight (I know it'll make me cry!) Ed Sheeran Weds and staying at my friends in Manc. A bit apprehensive about it all actually. x

Cleozeta Mon 21-May-18 13:54:41

Pample I'm 41 and dh is 44 so time is of an essance if we want to try again.
Hope you get your work thing sorted, sounds like they are being a bit unnecessarily picky.

Cleozeta Mon 21-May-18 17:37:35

Dreading the medical management tomorrow. And ironically all bleeding has completely stopped today. If I hadn't been scanned I would assume it was done and be happily awaiting ovulation. Good job for modern technology! I wonder what would have happened in the olden days, before scans. My body totally thinks its done. I think we must have had so many more problems before this technology. I had a terrible 4 day labour with my son 7 years ago, which ended in a c-cection as I never got past 9cm. (My body is clearly not very good at expelling things) Before the days of medical intervention I don't think either of us would have made it.

PineapplePrincess Mon 21-May-18 22:01:49

Good luck with medical management tomorrow @Cleozeta. I didn’t know what to expect with it and was dead against it as an option (preferring the ERPC) but wasn’t really given a choice. Ended up nothing happened, no cramps or bleeding - if anything I went backward. After 7hrs doctor examined and was able to manually remove everything. Wasn’t as bad as I had envisioned, but perhaps not the most dignified of things (would prefer to be out cold!)

@Pampl3m0usse, can’t believe your boss is being so awkward. So people just don’t get it though.

I’m also at the point of just telling people. If anyone asks me questions re having more children I’m just going to come out and say it. If they are tactless enough with the question, then they can deal with the answer. Nurse today was obviously just very excited to be a grandmother - but she told me her news twice (obviously forgot we’d had the conversation 20mins earlier), and both times I struggled to respond.

DS is okay, but they think he has Henoch-Schönlein Purpura which causes random bruising and can affect his kidney functions - so they are running lots of tests. Will be interested in the results as one theory is it’s blood clotting related the other is the immune system attacks health cells. So there maybe some indirect linkages to the miscarriages if it’s hereditary - pulling at straws, but will try anything at the mo!

Pampl3m0usse Tue 22-May-18 13:49:27

Thinking of you today @Cleozeta.. I know what you mean about the bad old days. I haven't ever gone into spontaneous labour and drugs to induce etc have been ineffective. Don't think I'd be here! My Great Grandmother died in childbirth with her first child, my Gran, which is always a sobering thought.

It's hard isn't it.... @PineapplePrincess; I'd have thought a nurse would want to be slightly more careful about sharing her excitement in a professional context....

Glad to hear that your DS is OK and that they're taking good care of him with the tests. maybe it is related, maybe it isn't, hopefully you'll get the same level of care to get to the bottom of things, though.

I'm now sat here with a raging migraine having ran around sorting the house out for the last four hours because we're moving in six weeks (hopefuly) and there's so much to do. Probably unwise though... Now have to run to the supermarket as DH has a parents evening tonight so need to collect feed and put the children to bed....

Cleozeta Tue 22-May-18 14:38:43

Been in the hospital since 8.30 this morning, and nothing happening. Lunch was nice though.

PineapplePrincess Tue 22-May-18 21:20:27

Hope you’re progressing okay @Cleozeta. flowers

Gosh @Pampl3m0usse, moving house? You really have a lot on your plate these last few days/weeks. I don’t know how you’re coping, but you have my admiration.

I was having a bit of a pity-party this morning, but managed to pull myself out of it. Have cleared out my wardrobe, been ruthless at throwing out old and unworn clothes; including my maternity clothes. Figure if we were to fall again, I’d buy new ones. Fresh start.

Pampl3m0usse Tue 22-May-18 21:40:25

Oh no @Cleozeta I hope that things have started to move for you today.
@PineapplePrincess our youngest is still in a cot in our room and we don't have a room for her to go to. We put the house on the market when I found I was pregnant and now if we're going to try for another baby could do with more space anyway so have decided to go ahead. We're also in the (un)fortunate position of inheritance from my Mum meaning we can afford somewhere bigger in a way we couldn't previously.
I also threw out a load of old baby clothes on the basis that if I get pregnant again I'll get new. I bought one thing for this one that's still hanging in my daughter's wardrobe though.
Anyway the moving is giving me some focus. It's almost embarassing how much crap has gone on recently (even my friends report telling their friends what an unbelievably sh*t time i've had!) so at least it gives me something positive to talk about!!! Well done on your sort out!

Cleozeta Tue 22-May-18 21:50:16

No progress. It didn't work.
They first tried to discharge me saying to take a pregnancy test in 3 weeks and come back if its still positive. I was fuming as medical management had clearly failed and all the stuff was still there. If I'd waited another 3 weeks that would have been 9 weeks since the pregnancy failed. Thats a long time to be walking around with retained products. Plus I'm now 41 and do not have time to waste 'waiting it out'. It took much convincing and bursting into tears to convince them to actually schedule something else in before 3 weeks. Now booked in for the vacum procedure next Tuesday. I just want it to end now

PineapplePrincess Tue 22-May-18 21:51:38

Hopefully a fresh start @Pampl3m0usse. You certainly deserve one.

I did a pregnancy test today, I know too early - but bleeding had pretty much stopped so thought I’d give it a go. Initially came up clear, but after a few minutes there was a faint line. Grrrr, will try again next week.

Other reason for testing was DH was in the mood for DTD last night, and all I could think about was I hadn’t done a test. Not sure if he’s changing his mind, or just in the mood. 😜

PineapplePrincess Tue 22-May-18 21:55:28

@Cleozeta, so sorry you’ve had such a crap day. I really question the success rate of medical management, I keep hearing people say it hasn’t worked for them - but hospital kept telling me it worked in 90% of cases.

Glad you’ve got a date for ERPC, altho’ it sucks you have to wait till Tuesday - could they not have found you an emergency slot? {{{hugs}}}

Pampl3m0usse Tue 22-May-18 22:05:33

Oh my gosh @Cleozeta that's ridiculous. Might it be worth you speaking to PALS to try and get something booked in sooner? I've always found aggitating with them has helped when dealing with my children's medical issues.... that's if you have the energy sad
@PineapplePrincess I'm totally going with the fresh start way of things..... Sorry about the prgnancy test. Mine was the same. We've just gone ahead and DTD anyway but I'd sure as hell like to know when I'm ovulating which is near impossible with the spotting im still getting. I agree on the medical management front 90% seems unlikely.......

Cleozeta Tue 22-May-18 22:09:43

I was told a 3% chance of failure! Yeah reckon thats wrong.
1 week away was the soonest but to be homest I'll take that over a 3 week wait out. The procedure next week is not the surgical route, its a vavum procedure under local. Yeah it 'sucks' (vacum - sucks hahaha wink )

Michelle0507 Wed 23-May-18 10:57:23

Hi Ladies,

It all sounds like you've got a lot going on!

@cleozeta sorry to hear it didn't work and you have to wait even longer. sad

I'm feeling more normal now and have started telling Family. I have some slight bleeding but not much. Just looking forward to my Hol the first week of June now!

Cleozeta Wed 23-May-18 11:15:50

I think a holiday is a good distraction, we have one booked in july and I am focusing on that.

I took a pregnancy test this morning and it's definitely getting lighter. I'm guessing thats a good sign?...

Michelle0507 Wed 23-May-18 21:31:49

I took my first one this morning. One clear line and one faint line! sad

PineapplePrincess Wed 23-May-18 21:38:42

@Cleozeta, line getting fainter is definitely a good sign. Means less hormone in the body to detect.

@Michelle0507, same here yesterday. Hospital only gave me one test away with me and I don’t have any in the house. Not looking forward to going out to buy more! But now just want a negative test - which is a bizarre thought!?!

Michelle0507 Wed 23-May-18 21:47:24

The Hospital told me not to test just wait a cycle so you know dates!
I bought 2 of the 3 packs from £ land a while ago.

Desperate for a negative which I guess a lot of people will never understand!

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