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The emotional rollercoaster of a miscarriage and how to deal with it

(6 Posts)
Daffodils86 Wed 28-Mar-18 22:18:40

So this is my first post, iv read about a million since i had my coil removed and this journey began.
Its a shame my first post comes under these circumstances.
I was lucky enough to fall pregnant on our first month ttc, but just over a week ago we found out that at 6w4d the baby hadn't developed, and that was why i had started bleeding, i was having a miscarriage.

Iv stopped bleeding now, about 9 days in total. Last week was misery and i feel slightly better this week, feeling i can function relatively ok.

Im just fed up and sad underneath it all.
Im so disappointed, iv never felt so disappointed before. I feel fed up of trying to be positive. Yes i can try again, but in reality i just want the baby i already made.
I feel a desperate need to try again and hopefully become pregnant again, i hate having this hanging over me and feel the whole experience of starting a family has been ruined.

I try to think how lucky i am with the normal cliches, that people dont stop telling you!
I do know so many women face tougher challenges and go through worse. To those women i dont know how you do it.

I just feel lonely, sad, frustrated and i guess a bit angry.
I should have been having an early scan Saturday followed by first midwife appointment next week. It makes feel sad that these wont happen now.
Every friday is a new week and i cant help think 'would have this many weeks this week'

In a month or so i could well be pregnant again, who knows, but everything feels muddled and strange and i guess tainted by this traumatic experience.

I guess i just wanted to hear from others and if you understood what i have said in anyway.

Xx

OP’s posts: |
maxiflump1 Thu 29-Mar-18 16:55:16

Aw @Daffodils86 so sorry you are going through this. It really is the worst thing. I had a mmc identified on Valentine's Day (of all days) so I know how you are feeling.

One thing I've learnt is it is totally normal to feel all those feelings you described. My best friend is also pregnant and although I am so happy for her it's difficult to see her growing bump. Don't put too much pressure on yourself to feel normal and try and talk to people about how you feel: you'll be surprised at how many other woman have been through it.

There a great thread on her call TTC after miscarriage and when you feel ready I recommend taking a look as the support on their is amazing.

winethanks to you x

maxiflump1 Thu 29-Mar-18 16:56:32

TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 18: Christmas cake for Christmas babieshttp://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/3200251-TTC-after-pregnancy-loss-Thread-18-Christmas-cake-for-Christmas-babies

seven201 Thu 29-Mar-18 17:04:44

I had an early miscarriage last month. I'm dealing with it better than I thought I would, but everyone is different. I mainly hate being back at the impatient ttc stage!

The way I pick myself up is to think how my problems are just a drop in the ocean compared to other people's ttc worries.

SunshineAfterRain Thu 29-Mar-18 17:06:45

Sorry for your loss. 💖
I miscarried in November 14 with a very much wanted baby also. We waited one period then tried again.
I was similar to you I knew due date, how many weeks I would be and it was all I thought about-our loss- I think that's normal under the circumstances.
We fell pregnant almost right away. And I am so thankfull but it never takes the loss away. In time it does get less consuming but it is a long road.
Just remember to talk to the people around you.
And as soon as you feel emotionally ready you may wish to try again.
Good luck. Things are crap just now but stay strong it will get easier flowers

Daffodils86 Fri 30-Mar-18 20:49:30

Thank you for your replies, it helps to share with people that have been in the same place. Each day it gets a bit easier.
Today we decorated one of our spare rooms that needed a bit of tlc, it had been just a bit or a storage room. Even though its not for a baby, it is really, for that day one arrives. So it was nice in a way to think of it like that.
I have some signs of my fertile window approaching, and although i would like to try, im worried my body wouldn't be ready and it would happen again. Iv seen so many women fall pregnant straight away and go on with healthy pregnancies, but despite that, can't help worry.
I know what you mean with the frustrating ttc and 2ww.
I hope everything goes better next time....
Xx

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