Expecting the worst

[Laney79]

Private scan yesterday-should've been around 8 weeks but embryo had no HB and was only measuring 3.1mm (5-6weeks says the paperwork). Got an appt at EPAU on Monday but sonographer warned they'd probably just scan me again, and then send me away and book me for another scan in two weeks.

My LMP was 14th Jan. DTD Jan 21/24/27...then again 4th Feb (but no ejaculation) and 11th Feb. Very strong positive tests 18th (Tesco) and 19th (pink pound shop)Feb. So I really don't think my dates can be that far out.

So I'm assuming MMC. I'm 38. It's my first pregnancy and I just feel heartbroken. I've not slept, just feel overwhelming sadness knowing that in all likelihood my bean is dead inside me.

[brodiee]

I'm so sorry you are experiencing this. I have recently had a miscarriage and it is an awful blow.

I hope the EPAU can give you a more definitive answer. They were great when I went in to see mine.

I'm taking comfort in the statistic I read that less than 5% of women who have a miscarriage go on to suffer another, and that after a miscarriage you are very fertile for the following 6 months.

Wishing you all the best and that you have a positive outcome xxx

[Laney79]

Thanks @brodiee -especially for the stars-sadly the EPAU couldn't give me a 100% but baby hasn't grown (and it should've) no heartbeat and no blood flowing into it from uterus so 95% certain my bean has died.

I have to go back in two weeks for a repeat scan, and I guess hope I miscarry naturally in the meantime.

Just so hard. Was a huge decision to start ttc, this is my first pregnancy at 38 years old. I have a medical phobia, so it's just awful. The thought of possibly more invasive procedures without the outcome of a bonny bairn at the end is horrible.

I just want my bean

[greenlizard]

I am so sorry Laney. I have been where you are and it is horrible - in my case I had a positive scan at 6 weeks and another at 9 weeks but the baby stopped growing then and by 12 weeks it was clear the baby had died. I was devasted and had an ERPC as I didn't want to wait to miscarry at home. I went on to have another miscarriage 6 months later but miscarried at home this time. Both were ok (in the circumstances obviously) so if it turns out to be a miscarriage you may not need to go down the medical route.

I have since had two successful in quick succession and now have a son and a daughter and I am in my 40s. I will never forget the babies I lost but it does get better with time. The wait is horrendous even if you know inside it's over you still hope they might be wrong - I think in some weird way it helped me deal with the loss. My chance to say goodbye to them while they were still with me.

So a big hug and hand hold. I hope it works out ok for you. Treat yourself well and ket others take care of you.