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Chemical pregnancy

(6 Posts)
randomuntrainedcuntowner Tue 13-Mar-18 09:28:25

I was getting positive frers since Thursday. Then yesterday I started bleeding. It was the expected day of my period so If i hadn't tested early I wouldn't even have known. I was barely pregnant, if at all. It was obviously a failed implantation/ chemical pregnancy. But for those few days as far as I was concerned, I was pregnant. I foolishly let myself get excited, I told dp and my mum, I looked up the due date.

This baby was really wanted. I had an ectopic in September and I have been worried about whether I would be able to conceive as I now only have 1 tube, I'm 36 and I have a history of endometriosis.

I have a 7 year old dd, but she is desperate for a baby brother or sister. She is not my partners and I want to give him a child. I want to give my parents another grandchild as we lost my brother not long ago so there is just me now. I feel I have failed every body yet again.

I drank far too much last night, I am in pain and bleeding heavily so I have not gone in to work. I am a mess.

I know this is not technically a miscarriage. I am basically having a period. But it is much heavier and crampier than usual.

I know I was never really pregnant in the first place, but I feel like I have lost a baby and I know that is silly. To be honest I feel like this with every period.

CammieKennaway Tue 13-Mar-18 10:17:06

I'm so very sorry.
I've had a chemical pregnancy myself after fertility problems so I know the grief you feel is very real.
I know it's nothing really helpful, but just wanted to let you know that you're not alone in feeling this way - I also felt like I'd lost a baby but I did eventually get over it - wishing you lots of love flowers

randomuntrainedcuntowner Tue 13-Mar-18 10:23:35

Is it normal for the period to be heavier and more painful than usual? I just can't see how more stuff than usual could have "built up" but it definitely is more painful. The pain literally feels like a kick in the guts.

Athers666 Tue 13-Mar-18 20:24:01

Hi OP. A month ago I had similar. Lost the 'pregnancy' at five weeks. I was, and still am, bereft. I'm also 36 and we'd be trying for years. When we got the BFP it was the most overwhelming, amazing and terrifying thing ever. Thought our dreams had finally come true after all the anguish of ttc. Then, it was all snatched away from me in the blink of an eye. Started spotting blood and then my symptoms evaporated. The nausea, sore boobs, feeling different, it all just vanished. I knew something was wrong. Sure enough, I had a heavy painful bleed days later. Tests turned negative straight away. I am utterly heartbroken even though it was an early loss. I feel like I can't talk about it as it wasn't yet an actual baby, so I feel guilt for being so sad about it. But, I am. Like you I had looked up my due date and was getting so excited about the future. And now, again, I have nothing. I did take a few days of work as I was in shock and the bleed was painful and heavy. Just wanted to say that I get what you're going through x

HidCat Fri 16-Mar-18 08:09:11

No matter how early the loss you're still entitled to grieve. Your baby is a baby as soon as you accept it into your heart. I hope you feel better soon.

ShutTheFridgeUp Fri 16-Mar-18 08:14:15

The second you see that second line you start to imagine the life you will have. It makes no difference if you knew for 2 days or 2 months, the grief is the same. Be kind to yourself and allow yourself to grieve thanks

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