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What does it mean to be 'ready to try again' from an emotional perspective?

(5 Posts)
Yoshei Sun 25-Feb-18 22:15:02

Sometimes I feel like I'm searching answers to questions that cannot be answered. This is one of them, so any input is welcome.

So a few weeks ago I had a miscarriage (13 weeks). I recently went for a scan and the doctor said that my cyclus had restarted (I was in a fertile time window at that moment). She gave us the 'Go .. If you're emotionally ready'. So my husband was like 'I'm ready'. And I was ecstatic to know my body had recovered (last scan they told me 'something is still inside you, but it's too small to remove; so just wait for it). So we ttc that day. I regretted it afterwards, because I have so many doubts about the 'emotionally ready' part.

So yeah, I don't know if I am emotionally ready. I am still in a rollercoaster of days with ups and downs. There are days I can enjoy. There are days everything makes me cry (even unrelated things). This doesn't seem like a healthy state for my body to be in when ttc?
But when are you ready? As far as I've understood, the ups and downs will only fade with time, and never truly disappear. So that would mean I'll never be ready? How did you knew you were ready?

Again: all input of any kind is welcome smile

HidCat Mon 26-Feb-18 07:54:48

I'm so sorry to hear this. I think everyone reacts differently to MC and so it's hard to describe feeling ready other than you just feel it. Initially I felt I wanted to wait a while but then after a few weeks I felt that I was ready to get going and that was it. Others, like yourself, may change their minds each day. There's a good thread on here about waiting a while rather than rushing into it. The emotions will settle down in time. I hope you find peace soon.

NotBurpeesAgain Tue 27-Feb-18 12:00:30

I think everyone is different.
When I heard that my baby would not make it, my first thought was about getting sterilized, because I would not risk going through that much pain again.
After our son was born at 18 weeks, I was in two minds. But I soon realised I did not want our family to end with this tiny coffin (even though he was an unplanned baby).
I would really like another child as soon as possible. I could not tell you how I know I am ready - I just know I am.
What's more, I am not that young so I don't think I can afford to wait for 3 months / 6 months / whatever.

OverinaFlash Tue 06-Mar-18 16:22:00

For me I was ready when the longing for a baby got bigger than the fear that it would all go wrong again. I haven't fallen pregnant again so god knows how I would cope with the fear if it did happen. There is no magic formula and its ok not to be ready. It doesn't mean you don't want a baby or that you weren't ready last time. It's like any grief, time won't make it all better, but it can give you a different perspective.

Yoshei Thu 08-Mar-18 21:22:50

Hey all,

Thanks a lot for your replies. I guess being 'emotionally ready' doesn't really mean anything. Despite the initial regrets I now hope for a baby to be on the way. @OverinaFlash: Thanks for stating that it's ok not to be ready. It relieved a lot of the anxiety.

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