Diagnosed miscarriage but I think doctors have my dates really wrong

[deadhead]

Hi all,
I'm completely new to this website but had been reading threads for a while. I got a positive pregnancy test about 3-4 weeks ago now, completely unplanned and initially unwanted. I'm only 19 and in second year of university so my friends who knew about the positive result thought I should get an abortion, I thought that was the right decision for me too until I attended a consultation at a clinic. I told the nurse that I was unsure about whether I wanted an abortion so she wrote that down and scanned me. She couldn't find anything at first so she did a further internal scan.
As I was laid on the bed being scanned I knew that I couldn't abort my baby, I bonded with it and the idea of how my life could change for the better. She had to call in another nurse to check what she was seeing and they both suspected miscarriage.
I was sent to the emergency gynecology unit, they took bloods and told me my HCG was at 23,000. They also scanned me again and said that they were not seeing what they should be at 10 weeks, they wrote down that I had a pregnancy of unknown location.
The hospital calculated my dates from my last period (26th November) which apparently put me at 10 weeks however I know that I couldn't have conceived until the 27th of December (I hadn't had any unprotected sex until then) which only puts me at 5-6 weeks. I didn't say anything to them at the time because they seemed so sure and the dates didn't click until I left.
Is it possible that I haven't miscarried and they just got my dates really wrong? I have had no bleeding and little cramping, I am also still experiencing sore breasts and nausea.
Next week I will have another scan to check but the doctor pretty much told me this was just reassurance and that I have definitely miscarried.
I'm on a horrible emotional roller coaster of grief and denial, one minute I feel that I have miscarried and the next I'm so unsure.
If anyone has had similar experiences I would really appreciate hearing these and perhaps someone could give me some advice?
I feel isolated and alone, my friends don't know how to deal with me so maybe someone here has some insight?

[blessedmummyov5]

If u think dates r wrong then be absolutely sure and if ur number go up do not take the tablet to abort as they will offer it to start process if they think u have miscarried to get rid of it seen as ur body ain't doing it , my friend had the same problem they seen her a few times n don't see anything on scan each time offered her the tablet to help her miscarry refused went bk 2 weeks later n boom there was a baby they had dates wrong she has a perfect son now x

[Babdoc]

Deadhead, we doctors calculate dates from the last period, regardless of when conception took place. So on an average cycle, by the time you miss your first period, you are counted as being 4 weeks pregnant. That’s why gestation is described medically as 40 weeks, when you are actually only pregnant for 9 months.
It might sound a daft system, but in the majority of pregnancies we have no idea when conception occurred, so we date from the last period as a definite event we can stick a number on.
Hope that helps to explain!

[Isittimeforbed]

With HCG that high there really should be something visible on the scan. It can just be that they missed it. By next week even by your dates you'll be 6-7 weeks, and again something should be visible if the pregnancy is progressing normally.

If they don't see anything or they do but it's smaller than expected then there's no need to do anything as long as the pregnancy is in the right place. So you're not going to be pushed into ending a pregnancy that you suspect was conceived later than your LMP dates.

[Gizzymum]

@deadhead Whilst I hope you are right about dates, I notice you mentioned not having unprotected sex until 27th Dec, but if you had protected sex in the interim period please bear in mind that protection is not 100% accurate and that may explain why you still hadn't had your period over a month later at the end of Dec.

I hope it all works out for you and will keep my 🤞🏻 until your next scan.

[bluecashmere]

Dates are always based on your last period to start and then the due date is corrected based on scans.

I am not qualified to tell you whether they are correct, but you would have been more than 5-6 weeks and more like 8 weeks when they saw you based on a 'normal cycle.

Have you taken another test?

I hope someone will come along and give you better advice.

[QueenAravisOfArchenland]

Hi deadhead, I think the reason they are so confident is that with an HCG level as high as 23000 they would expect to see a clearly visible embryo with a heartbeat. A heartbeat is normally seen by the time HCG hits 10,000 or thereabouts. If anything doctors are usually highly conservative about diagnosing miscarriage if there is any possibility of dates being wrong and certainly wouldn't do so purely on the basis of an LMP date. And 3-4 weeks after a positive test a sac should really be visible and quite likely a heartbeat too since that would put you at 7-8 weeks pregnant minimum.

It does sound like the pregnancy is not viable I'm afraid. That said you are under no obligation to accept intervention and you can wait and see what happens when you have your re-scan.

[deadhead]

I forgot to mention that my cycle has been very irregular recently as I came off the progesterone only pill just under a year ago, I've had cycles lasting 40+ days. I'm aware that condoms can fail but it just seems most likely that I conceived around 27th of December as there was 0 protection used and (sorry tmi maybe?) he ejaculated inside me quite a few times over the night/day.
I'll take another test today and post results.
Thanks for the advice so far, it is a really horrible time and the added confusion only complicates my emotions further

[QueenAravisOfArchenland]

Without wishing to be negative, I don't think another test will tell you much - the threshold for a positive is 25miu HCG and most tests are showing clear dark positives with a level of 100miu HCG. With a blood level of 23,000 you will be getting dark positives for weeks without it indicating anything about whether the pregnancy is ongoing.

[deadhead]

The test I just did was the strongest positive that I've gotten so far (I've done 5-6 tests in total). It is a shame that it can't really indicate anything about viability.
I feel like an idiot for grasping as straws, I should probably just accept the loss.

[PaddingtonsHat]

Have they rechecked your HCG level? With an hCG that high and nothing on scan I’d want to see what your levels are doing 48 hours after the first test. This can give some indication of what is going on but is by no means hard and fast.

[deadhead]

No they didn't bother to recheck they just told me I miscarried after the inconclusive scan. I could probably request that they recheck my bloods after my scan on Wednesday? Hopefully they'll do it to reassure me though I'm not sure as the hospital is understaffed and very busy.

[EatingSatsumas]

I can understand why you’ve been told you miscarriaged, and I’m afraid I agree it is probable, but I think for your own peace of mind you need to ask for HCG blood tests taken 48 hours apart.

As for the positive pregnancy test, I continued to get them for almost six weeks after I had surgical management for miscarriage which was around seven weeks after I had miscarriaged (I hoped to miscarry naturally but didn’t). That means my baby died three months earlier.

I really hope everyone is wrong but if I were you, I would prepare myself for bad news.

[deadhead]

I'll request that they check that after my scan next week yes, it would help with getting over this denial stage I think. Thank you for the advice, I think I know deep down that my baby died. It feels like something left me at least, I just need more reassurance.
Thanks for sharing your experience, it helps to hear from other women who have been through miscarriage x

[aloropot]

Yes, you really have to insist on another blood test. They will be able to tell from falling or rising levels what's going on, and if it is a miscarriage, if it could possible need to be medically managed.

Don't feel bad or guilty about it, just push - this is your health we're talking about.

Sorry you're going through this stress and wishing you the best

[deadhead]

@aloropot thank you, I'll definitely insist on the further bloods, I did find it odd that they didn't want to take more than one HCG reading. Thanks for the kind wishes, hopefully I'll know for certain soon. X

[deadhead]

Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with the emotional side of miscarriage? I'm pretty much alone in this due to my friend's opinions.

[SleepFreeZone]

I’m surprised that no one wanted to check you further incase of ectopic!!

[notapizzaeater]

Have you asked for counselling about it ? Hope everything's ok.

[aloropot]

You could try talking to the Samaritans right now if you wanted to?

Tomorrow, try giving this group a call: https://www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/how-we-help/helpine/

I found it just took a lot of grieving and time and talking on boards like these though, grief always takes time.

[EatingSatsumas]

There is a miscarriage board on here where you will find support.

Thinking of you.

[EatingSatsumas]

*thread not board - if you search through, you’ll find it or else start a new one.

[deadhead]

Thanks guys, I am going to seek counselling after the confirmation scan next week. This loss has taken me to quite a dark place, I just hope I can get through it well enough and finish the academic year reasonably well.

[deadhead]

@LittleLights I don't know as I'm not sure how much they cost, do you think there would be any benefit of having a private scan?