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7 Mc's and now struggling to get pregnant.

(12 Posts)
buddahbelly Wed 07-Feb-18 05:54:05

I had my ds 5 years ago, before him I had 1 Mc, and have had the other 6 over the past 3 years. My last pregnancy ended last June at 6 1/2 weeks, they all seem to end between 6 - 7 weeks.

Ive had all the tests available on the nhs and my consultant basically told me there was nothing else to be done unless I wanted to pay for it. I don't even know why im writing this, I just don't think im coping that well.

We've had a break from September last year and only started again this month, period arrived yesterday after I got my hopes up and has made me sink further into depression. Im 37, dp is 40. I don't have all the time in the world to wait and try new things, I just want a 2nd baby so badly, were in a position to give 1 a good home, life, lovely big brother....and its just not happening.

All of my female friends are pregnant at the moment which isn't helping my depression either.

Disneyrules Thu 08-Feb-18 20:07:30

I'm so sorry to hear you've gone through this, let alone so many times. It's heartbreaking. I think it's terrible that they have said that to you. Its basically like saying how much are you willing to pay for a baby. Some people aren't financially able to go private. Very sad! I too feel like I'm the only one that's not pregnant at the moment. Here if you need to talk xxx

buddahbelly Sat 10-Feb-18 07:01:53

Thankyou disney Thats exactly what it feels like to be honest, they are pushing us to see how much we will pay. The first test im able to do is £500, and after researching it a bit the likelihood is that they will say they cannot find any evidence of problems and just put me onto progesterone suppositories..... why not just do that anyway if they think it will help.

Im actually ready to give it all up to be honest, the further this goes on the more I want to get away from sleepless nights, its been 3 years, I should have a 2 year old by now. sad

seven201 Sat 10-Feb-18 07:07:46

Can you afford the £500? (I know you said you can't afford private but wasn't sure if you meant if they kept adding more tests). I can't begin to imagine what you're going through. thanks

I really know nothing about fertility things but I think sometimes women who miscarry are given a low dose of aspirin to take during pregnancy. Have they mentioned that at all?

Disneyrules Sat 10-Feb-18 14:11:33

Big hugs to you. I would personally pay the £500 if you can afford it because you'll always think what if otherwise. I know its painful and maybe still won't get closure but I say give it one last chance. It's heart breaking and only you know when your limit is and when enough is enough. I would really really push one more time at the gp and tell them how devastating this is for you, maybe ask for a referral? I believe Dr Shehata (I think that's the name) only charges £560 for their tests but I suppose it depends where you're based. This is something I might look into as although I've not had as many as you, ive had 2 within the last 4 months, I feel like i can't continue without getting some answers. My Dr just basically shrugs and says 'well you can get pregnant, it's probably just one of those things...bad luck'. I know the feeling of being very much torn between so desperately wanting a baby bit also not knowing whether you can put yourself emotionally through it again xxxx

BeyondHope Sat 10-Feb-18 19:51:58

I am sorry to hear about your losses. I lost my 7th baby who was stillborn in December so can understand your pain. I have an almost 4 year old and time is also ticking on for me and my husband.

Only you will know when the time has come to stop. After our 6th loss me and my husband agreed to try one more time. As we would always wonder what if. After my son was born in December I said enough is enough. I've spent the last 2 years being pregnant and losing babies and I'm done with it.

I can really recommend Professor Quenby at Coventry and Warwickshire. You can get a referral on the NHS from your GP. She did every test going for me and her clinic is amazing. They didn't find anything wrong with me but the tests were very thorough. I hope you can get the answers you need.

Disneyrules Sat 10-Feb-18 22:05:41

@beyondhope I hope you sont mind but can I ask you a couple of questions? What type of things do they test out of interest? Did you get referred here after your 3rd mc? X

BeyondHope Sat 10-Feb-18 22:34:08

Disney I got referred after my 3rd loss. I was pregnant with my 4th when I had my initial appointment so they didn't do much. Just offered me extra scans. When I lost that baby I went back and they did an absolute load of blood tests. They all came back normal. They did testing on the baby I lost and it was found to have Edwards syndrome so the miscarriage was put down to that and the previous ones as just bad luck as all my tests were ok. I did however pay to have the NK cells test just to cover all bases (even though professor quenby said this was unlikely to be a problem) and that also came back clear.

Neolara Sat 10-Feb-18 22:37:37

I am very sorry to hear about your many losses. If it gives you hope, I have a friend who had one baby, followed by 7 mcs, followed by 2 babies.

buddahbelly Sun 11-Feb-18 08:08:39

Hi, wow, thank you all so much for replying. Im sorry we've all found ourselves in this horrible place.

I was referred by my gp to the Liverpool women hospital who weren't great at all (and if im honest I feel like complaining), results went missing, twice, meaning id travelled there only to be told sorry, we can't find your results can you make another appt in 3 months. Ive had all the tests under the sun and nothing has come back, she even told me it wasn't worth me trying the low dose aspirin - of course I bought some myself to try as I was so desperate I tried anything.

beyondhope Would dr quimby have been your local consultant t be referred to? I only ask as the Warwick clinic is where ive been told to approach next and pay the £500 for the nk killer tests I believe. So if thats your local clinic I can understand why you've been referred there, if not though I could go to my gp and try and get referred.

I could put the £500 on a credit card, Im actually on the verge though teetering between ds is fine on his own, it will mean more attention, were able to do more things with him and he's very extrovert so not like he would be sat around worrying about being an only child, or thinking will I look back one day wishing id tried harder to have another child, do I even want to do the sleepless nights again now were all finally sleeping through the night. Im just not sure what my limit is and how much I can keep putting my life on hold each month.

But then when my period turned up this month and I got upset I think that was probably an indicator of my true feelings?

BeyondHope Sun 11-Feb-18 11:52:50

No professor quenby isn't my local clinic. I live about 50 miles away so not too far. I did a lot of research when my GP referred me to my local hospital for tests and I was told the wait was going to be 8 months. I only waited 6 weeks to see her for the initial consultantation.

buddahbelly Sun 11-Feb-18 19:59:46

Thanks beyond I think I may have misunderstood then as ive also been referred to her (I think) by my own gp and also my consultant. so it could be the same case, rather than referring myself and waiting for a good few months.

She told me to call up the day of my first period then they would take it from there.

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