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Feeling alone

(7 Posts)
Beatrice76 Mon 29-Jan-18 21:52:55

I had a natural miscarriage 10 days ago. It didn't hit me emotionally that much (although I did have a good cry over it) but physically it did although I am just trying to power through it. Two days after it happened I travelled for a one day meeting to Europe and back within a day. I now feel very tired and have pains in my lower abdomen + headaches and still bleeding. I have a very active toddler and I work full time so that means by the evening I feel exhausted. My DH is extremely busy at work and also takes care of our kid equally as me so can't complain there but because of this he barely remembers to ask how I am physically and just sort of expects me to recover (btw I'm still waiting for another scan and possible D&C in two days time). I don't feel like I can talk to anyone about how I am and I guess I just need someone to feel for me a little. I haven't told any of my friends about the pregnancy and my close family also don't ask much. Brothers think it just happens and then it's over, and my mum asks but then starts talking about her aches and pains...I could tell my two friends who know we were trying for a baby (and so are they) but they work at the same place as me and are not very discreet so can't be sure they won't mention something to someone...I don't want other people at work to know because I am hoping for promotion soon and may never get pregnant again (I'm 41). Anyway, just need a little pat on the back I guess...thanks. I am myself surprised how tired and out of sorts I am.

OP’s posts: |
Mugglenet Mon 29-Jan-18 22:10:39

Your poor thing. The thing I discovered after my miscarriage was people just move on as they don't understand how to deal with it and if they haven't been through it They can't even begin to imagine how it feels. My advice is stop and hit pause. You are being too hard on yourself and u need to take time to recover and grieve. It is your loss and you need to grieve and allow yourself to do so. Be kind to yourself. Your body is going through massive hormonal changes.

Disneyrules Tue 30-Jan-18 15:48:14

You poor thing. I'm sort for your loss please don't think you're alone. These forums have been a god send for me and have made me realise just how common it is. I'm always hear if you need to talk. Make sure you take some time out to heal and let it sink in. I think it didn't sink in till a few weeks after I suffered both of my miscarriages x sending big hugs x

Disneyrules Tue 30-Jan-18 15:48:59

Sorry*

Isadora2007 Tue 30-Jan-18 15:52:13

I’m sorry you feel so alone. It’s a horrible loss as it is private and unseen so people don’t really appreciate the enormity of it for you. It’s the loss of the dream and the life you imagined.
Your baby will always be a little part of the jigsaw that makes up your family, maybe take time to write him/her a wee letter or get some flowers laid somewhere or light a candle in a church- something tangible to express your pain. Much love to you.

Beatrice76 Tue 30-Jan-18 19:15:53

Thank you for understanding and your replies. I should probably stop and pause a bit but I think by constantly doing something I am trying to not think about it too much. I have been through the most terrible loss you can imagine - 3 years ago I lost my healthy and gorgeous first son when he was a toddler suddenly and unexpectedly and to unexplained cause - and I am still and will always be grieving for him. I can't face any more sorrow so am trying to block it all out. And perhaps this is what my family and DH are doing as well. Anyway, thank you...

OP’s posts: |
Mugglenet Tue 30-Jan-18 19:26:01

I'm so sorry to hear that. It may be worthwhile to go and speak to someone otherwise this could all come back and haunt you some day. There is the miscarriage support line. Please remember you are not alone and even speak to your gp.

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