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Termination - 23 weeks(12 Posts)
This week we found out our little girl has major heart (and other problems). She is not compatible with life and we have decided to terminate.
I am beyond heartbroken. DH is normally the strong, silent type but he is devastated. Our 20 week scan revealed a possible problem. We were referred to GOSH who found out things were far, far worse than previously thought.
I feel so guilty as I was very unsure about this pregnancy: we have a non-sleeping 13 month old and family are far away. I didn't know how I was going to cope. Now I wish that'd been the only thing to worry about.
I've bought a little outfit, shawl and teddy for her.
Have spent today throwing up. I know I have to be strong for my son but I don't know how I'll get through this - how can I ever be happy after this?
The moment that kills me is remembering the delight on DH's face when we were told it was a girl. Then it all went horrible.
I can't see how we can cope?
I'm so sorry for what you're going through @moita.
I didn't want to read and run as I've been through similar and while you may feel like you'll never laugh or be happy again , you will , in time.
We lost out daughter in 2016 in similar circumstances (spina bifida diagnoses at anomaly scan) so I can somewhat relate...the throwing up , the guilt. The joy of seeing your baby on the screen then hearing the heart breaking news. I'm sorry this is happening to you too , I really am.
I just wanted to offer a hand hold and if you have any questions about anything (nothing is too personal) , then please pm me.
You'll be in my thoughts
I am so sorry to hear this!
I havent been through it and im not sure how you will go on but i know your older child will help you recover but both be sure to take your grief at your own speed. Dont expect if one of you recovers a little faster or people tell you -you should be doing such and such by now - take it at your own speed! And also take care of yourselfs and eachother during this time xx
Thank you. It really helps to write it down. My DH is brilliant but I don't want to drag him down even further.
I'm so so sorry that you're going through this. It must be utterly horrendous
I'm so sorry to read this. I want you to know you aren't alone. I had to end my much much wanted pregnancy just after Christmas and it's heartbreaking. You will find the strength somewhere. You have to for your little boy, just like I have. Do you have a date for delivery? I am here if you want to talk.
I'm so sorry Beyonehope - wouldn't wish this on anyone. Going in tomorrow. I'm scared but also just want to fast forward xx
I am so sorry. All my best wishes for tomorrow x
Hope all goes well tomorrow moita. You will get through it. I hope you have lots of support.
I’m so sorry to read this. A similar situation happened to me about 9 years ago, major heart defect discovered at 22 week scan.
We also decided to terminate at about 24 weeks, it was heartbreaking, so very sad. I had another daughter who was 4 at the time. She helped keep us focused.
I remember thinking that I would never dance again and have fun with my friends. I was in my early 30s at the time.
I felt empty and sad for a while but slowly pulled through. I didn’t really feel guilty for terminating the pregnancy just really sad. I felt very inadequate afterwards. My husband and I were strong together though. The whole situation made me more humble about life and those around me. I had a piece of jewellery engraved with her name (we decided to give her a name) I wear this item everyday and it brings me comfort.
You will find a way through tomorrow.
All these years on I still believe I made the right decision.
Sending love for tomorrow x
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