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Miscarriage wait

(12 Posts)
CT240 Fri 12-Jan-18 19:52:24

Hi ladies,
Been reading these threads for last 2 weeks but only just felt able to post.
I started bleeding on 23rd Dec (approx 9/10 weeks pregnant), I knew things straight away weren’t right but couldn’t get scan at EPU until 29th Dec. At the scan they told me there was no heartbeat and sent me away for 2 weeks to miscarry naturally. My bleeding slowed right down after the first scan (which gave me a little hope unfortunately). Went back for my second scan today and they said there was still no heartbeat but the miscarriage hasn’t progressed. I was given the choice to wait a further 2 weeks for things to move naturally or take tablets to move things along. We decided to opt for the medical management which I have started. I am just really worried as the midwife told me that the tablets don’t always work and if they don’t it will take a further 12 days until they can do anything else. Has this happened to anyone? I also don’t know what it’s going to be like once I take the tablets, does anyone have any advice?

Kit1411 Fri 12-Jan-18 20:25:34

So sorry to hear this, although I have no advice I did have an early miscarriage in December and it was horrible so can’t imagine your heartache.

TotallyFedUp11 Fri 12-Jan-18 20:31:35

You poor thing. I always find waiting the worst part. I've only ever had ERPCs with mine, is that an option for you? It gets it all over and done with in one go and I find that easier to deal with.

CT240 Fri 12-Jan-18 20:37:00

Thank you. They have said that they will only look at an ERPC if nothing happens for 12 days after I start the medical management. It is just so hard the process and heartache being prolonged. I didn’t have any idea that things could last this long. It has been 3 weeks already and now they have said the potential to wait nearly another 2 weeks if this doesn’t work. It means I can’t start to get over things. I know that might sound harsh but I just need to be able to start to get back to normal life.

TotallyFedUp11 Fri 12-Jan-18 21:01:13

Not harsh at all. That seems to unfair that they're making you wait. Are you able to go back and say how hard you're finding it and how it's affecting your mental health? I don't really know what else you could do sad

CT240 Fri 12-Jan-18 21:33:38

Yeah that might be what to do, I will give it the weekend to see if anything changes but if not see if they can do anything else. Thanks

Bithjah5 Sat 13-Jan-18 06:36:47

The waiting is the worst. I just miscarried on the 5th. But mine had already started when we found out. It took an entire week to pass everything. I CAN NOT imagine having to wait any longer than that or how broken your heart is having to wait all this time. I am so sorry.

CT240 Sat 13-Jan-18 07:13:02

Oh I am so sorry for your loss, a week is a long time to pass everything, that must have been so hard for you. I am just really worried about taking the medication and how painful/severe it will be but I suppose that is better than any more of a wait.

DontBuyANewMumCashmere Sat 13-Jan-18 14:39:46

I'm so sorry CT. I had a MMC last Jan/Feb, I started bleeding about 10 weeks and it took so long to sort out, in the end I had ERPC which sorted me out quickly, in retrospect.
I then got pg quickly and had another MMC in May-ish, this one was earlier at about 6 weeks and was dealt with differently. I had a MVA which I found to be awful, painful, excruciating and if I needed another intervention I would chose ERPC or medical management over that.
After that one by hormone level continued to rise and I basically took 2 months to get back to normal.

I'm so sorry for your loss. The waiting is interminable and feels never ending and so bloody pointless and futile. Our bodies can play some horrible tricks on us. flowers

Bithjah5 Sat 13-Jan-18 14:59:38

CT... I think if you feel like you trust your doctor, and you for sure know the baby is gone, then just take the course of action reccomended by your Doctor. It did take a while for me to go through it naturally and it was painful. I think it will be painful no matter what. You are giving birth. Every option has some level of pain and some level of risk. My Dr. Prefered that i go through it naturally but would only let it go a week before offering any type of intervention. Mostly just to be sure there wasnt anything else going on. I had an anembryonic pregnancy. Sometimes if the date of the pregnancy is wrong they cant see the baby yet through ultrasound. So they want to wait to be sure that the date is correct. Just incase the baby is still growing but younger than expected. If i were in your shoes, if your Doctor has reccomended some type of medical intervention, take the pills. Then do the surgery if that doesnt work. But thats just me. I would want to at least hold my baby and see him/her. If you do a surgery you never see it. At least thats what ive read. I hope that helps. Im sorry for what you're going through. Nothing makes it better. But Ive heard in time the pain of the loss is easier to manage. Im just hoping for that.

UnicornsandRainbows1 Sun 14-Jan-18 11:07:32

I found out that my baby had got to 8+1, had passed a week before my scan at 9 weeks (this was the 25th Nov). I had no idea. Then had the surgical management on the 8th Dec after nothing happened during the wait. It's only in the last few days that I have an AF where hopefully it gets rid of the last remaining tissue that is left (had to keep going in for return scans and waiting, having another, waiting). It's only now that I think I can move on as you can't really go forward until it's fully over.

Please don't let them keep you waiting. It leads to this anxious uncertainty and no one deserves that. Be stern and make them go through everything with you so you have all of the options, and what happens afterwards with each one. Is there any reason why they can't do anything after a medical management for a while?

CT240 Sun 14-Jan-18 12:57:01

Thanks for your message and I am so sorry for your loss and wait, just pleased you can start to move on now.
I started the medical management yesterday, was in quite a lot of pain and it restarted my bleeding but by 6pm the contraction type pain had stopped and my bleeding has slowed right down. This is what I was so worried would happen. They have given me more tablets which I can try tomorrow to see if they do anything. It just seems so cruel having to wait so long. Don’t know why the wait for the surgical, they just said it was procedure to give the medical management 12 days. If the tablets don’t seem to do anything tomorrow then I am going to have to push for the surgical. I’m not at work at the moment in fear of something happening when I’m there and really need to start to move on. What seems worse in some respects is that (take away the pain from yesterday) I feel fine phyisically so feel like a big of a fraud.

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