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Missed miscarriage and going to work

(13 Posts)
AnnM08 Sat 11-Nov-17 12:28:41

We had an early scan on tue and was told there was no heartbeat 😞 I was 7 weeks, but foetus measured 6w5d.
I’ve decided to let it pass naturally.

Initially thinking I’d be ok to go to work the next day. As the day went on and reality sunk in I knew I couldn’t go to work. I only work tue-thur anyway. So had all week off. But due to go back on Tue.

It’s now sat and still nothing has happened. I’m wondering if I should go back or whether I should go get a sick note? I know really it’s silly to feel I need to go back to work. But it’s so busy and Work will be mounting up! My boss is still emailing me stuff to do (for when I get back in the office) even though I’m off and she knows what I’m going through. I thought maybe she’d deal with it herself or pass on.

I can’t imagine how I’d feel if I started to mc at work! It’s at least a 30 min drive and that’s when no traffic!

Has anyone been through similar. What did you do Work wise?
How long until you miscarried after the scan with no hb?

Thanks in advance
X

MouseLove Sat 11-Nov-17 20:10:13

When I found out I was pregnant I also found out I was hyperthyroid. I had a scan at Almost 8 weeks to check growth and we saw a beautiful heartbeat but I had an inkling something would go wrong. Since I needed lots of appointments and was generally panicked (I needed a lot of bloods and urgent appointments with a specialist at the hospital plus my midwife appointment) I told work I was pregnant. They were fantastic.

At Almost 10 weeks I started spotting on a Tuesday when I had just got home from work. I went to A&E and they tested my blood. It hadn’t doubled from the Friday results from my midwife. I was miscarrying. BUT the midwife had put my blood results in the system on the Monday so the doctor told me everything was ok. I went home and continued to miscarry.

On the Thursday I had a scan and it confirmed the baby had no heartbeat.

In complete agony I passed my baby on the Friday. However I am SO glad I did it naturally. I did it at A&E toilets in the most unglamorous way. I was petrified of flushing at home. I handed the doctor my baby and we had it cremated. The remains were scattered on the rose garden at our local cemetery.

I had from that Tuesday off work. We told them what was happening. They sent me a massive bunch of flowers and a card. My colleagues were told I was very poorly. I had a further 3 weeks off work. I went back and they were fantastic. They altered my work to accommodate and actually still do today. I suffered my mmc in February.

THATS how an employer should act. Get the sick note. Tell your boss not to bother you. Take the time. Mentally and physically.

Sending massive hugs. It does get better, I promise. X

AliBingo Sat 11-Nov-17 21:11:48

So sorry to hear your bad news.

I had a missed miscarriage found at 7 weeks and measuring 5 or 6, a week later some mild spotting and it got heavier the second day, felt a bit hit and crampy and went to the loo, bleeding seemed like a heavy period with maybe a slight gush. Straight away cramps stopped and then the bleeding started to get lighter so I think I must have passed the sac on the loo. Was in a public toilet with my three kids with me in the cubicle.

3 months later the same thing happened, scan at 7 weeks showed only developed to about 5 weeks. That time nothing happened after 2 weeks am I had two lots of medical management, both failed so I had an ERPC. Which was fine, physically.

So it seems like it's massively variable. I had to carry on with day to day life as DH couldn't get indefinite time off just in case.

I'm not sure whether I'd want to keep working though. But maybe it would help to keep busy?

Sorry again to hear your bad news. Best wishes x

gingerbreadmam Sat 11-Nov-17 21:21:59

So sorry you are going through this. With my first mmc baby stopped growing about 5wks. I was still pregnant at 14 wks so it can take a while. I did go back in-between for a few days but couldn't cope with the psychological side so requested medical management.

Like the pp that failed and I had a bit of a nightmare with it all but eventually had erpc at 14wks which was amazing after all the waiting and shit in-between.

Second mmc I went straight in for erpc next day. Was a breeze.

I hope everything goes smoothly as possible and very sorry for your loss.

PanannyPanoo Sat 11-Nov-17 21:34:36

I have had 7 miscarriages between 8 and 16 weeks. Each one different. I had one at work and spent 3 hours in the loo before I could physical leave the toilet and go home. I had one at home that was 5 mins of pain and all finished. One that was 5 hours of excruciating contractions .

I dont think it is possible for you to get any indication of how it will be for you, from others experiences
How are you feeling emotionally?

I would be inclined to get signed off.
it may be like a period. But emotionally it will feel very different. Or it may be more painful. E ither way you need time and space to come to terms with the loss of what could have been, and heal. physically and emotionally.
I am so sorry you are having to go through this. The limbo is horrible.
I hope the time passes as gently as possible.
Take care of you.

AnnM08 Sun 12-Nov-17 14:04:29

Thanks so much to all of you for your replies. Sorry that you’ve been there too.

I’m still waiting. The feeling of being pregnant is fading a bit. But still feeling it a bit.
Emotionally I am feeling flat. Just want it to soon. I don’t feel as upset as I was. But I am sure that’ll come back when it happens.
I think I’ll go docs tomorrow and tell them situ and see what they say. But think sign off will be best way.

I think if it hasn’t happened after 2 weeks from scan I’ll consider the surgical option. I think hosp might want to do it then too. As they said they’d contact me if not heard from me in 2 weeks.

Thanks again xx

seething1234 Sun 12-Nov-17 14:13:31

I worked during 3 mc. Looking back I wish I had taken time out for myself, especially when my only other co-worker called in sick cause she had a sore throat. On one hand it's good to keep busy but it's a difficult thing to go through.

Redisthemagicolour Sun 12-Nov-17 14:25:03

So sorry for your loss.

I had a mmc discovered at dating scan. Sadly no baby was present by then. They think the pregnancy failed before 6 weeks although I was unaware. Had plenty of symptoms and sac was still present.

I chose medical management. It was hard. Physically very painful as well as the emotional side to deal with. I bled a lot. I was silly enough to have tried to take my mind off it by shopping with friends an hour away from home. It did not go well.

Hopefully it won’t be as bad for you but I’d say stay off work if you can. Explain why if you need to. You don’t want to be at work for this. Take care x

OuchLegoHurts Sun 12-Nov-17 18:40:05

I've just had a missed miscarriage. Found out on Wed that our 10 week 5 day embryo was only measuring 7 weeks 5 days and with no heartbeat. I chose to book a scan and possible procedure if it hadn't passed naturally within a week. It happened the next day, Thursday, naturally. I had taken the week off anyway. My advice is that you can't go to work as when it happened it was very dramatic and you wouldn't want it to happen anywhere except home (or hospital) to be honest.
However, my cramps started mild and then increased in intensity over a couple of hours so you would probably have time to get home if you felt it starting.
Just to warn you, the process of passing the foetus was fine, but afterwards I did have very bad pain as my cervix was opening and closing, unsure what to do, so i had to go in to hospital where they gave me pethidine and painkillers which helped so much. If the contractions get bad just go straight in. The upside is that when it was all over I felt much happier...almost as if the physical pain erased a lot of the emotional pain...that might sound weird, but I was just relieved it was over!

MrsMcN82 Mon 13-Nov-17 12:18:10

I'm so sorry your going through this. I lost my baby at 10weeks on Fri & I am truly devastated. I passed my wee bean on Fri quite soon after the pain started but still bleeding really heavy & was told to expect to do so for another week as the lining has to come away too! I've taken 2 weeks off & will take more if I feel I need it.
I can cope with the cramps & bleeding, its the heartache & devastation of not being pregnant anymore that is killing me & I need time to cope with that side!! I send u big hugs luv.xxxx

MrsMcN82 Mon 13-Nov-17 12:24:37

I sincerely hope everything goes ok for u luv & take the time u need to heal afterwards. What an awful situation....but this site has helped me immensely....that I don't feel as alone as I did on Fri & sadly MCs are more common than I thought!! I hope ur heart & body heal soon. Big hugs.xxx

AnnM08 Mon 13-Nov-17 19:03:40

Thanks again to all of you for your replies. Sorry you’ve been through this xx

The docs signed me off for 2 weeks. I called Work and told them. They were okay. But I noticed my boss had already emailed me Work to do! This will obviously have to be passed to someone else now.
I also called EPU and they suggested I call back on Friday if I haven’t passed naturally by then and get booked in for procedure next week. This made me feel more sad and upset. I really would rather it pass naturally. But what if my body doesn’t recognise for weeks more to come!

MrsMc & Ouchlego really hope you’re both feeling much better soon. Sending hugs xxxx

OuchLegoHurts Mon 13-Nov-17 19:40:16

Thanks AnnM08, and I hope everything goes ok for you...it's not nice...hugs! X

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