Just a quick rant!(8 Posts)
I had a missed miscarriage at 8.5 weeks, surgical management a week later. A week on from that, I'm now beginning to feel back to myself and contributing again at work. I was quite upbeat this morning at work.
Until, I popped to the cafe for a cup of tea and the guy said "oh the decaf thing didn't last for long then, I was pleased to be using up the tea bags" I just muttered something like, "no sadly not" and shuffled off.
I now can't concentrate on work at all and feel stupidly emotional about it.
Should I have said something to him? He obviously doesn't realise the implication and may very well put his foot in it again...
what happens if I do manage to get pregnant again ( it will be ivf so in itself a source of angst) and then start ordering decaf drinks again?
Grrr, just a rant really- it's always the little thinks that catch you out, I suppose...
It's still very early days so of course things are going to annoy/upset you. I had a miscarriage nearly 2 months ago and I still have moments where I go from feeling sad to angry to hopeful, all in a few minutes. It sounds like your colleague didn't mean anything by it but I can understand how it will have triggered a lot of emotions.
I really enjoyed my decaf tea when I was pregnant so have carried on drinking them as it's improved my sleep a lot and it is supposed to help with conception to reduce caffeine intake anyway x
I've just found out I've miscarried at 6 weeks and the hardest bit seems to be doing the things that I had assumed I wouldn't be doing for the next 8 months. We've been ttc for 6 months and would have been my first. Sometimes it's good to know that it's ok to feel this way though and I guess that's why we're on here to know we're not alone no matter what stage of this process we're going through.
After my miscarriage, a woman at work (who didn’t know) congratulated me because I was still slim despite being pregnant.
It was awful. I went to see her later and quietly told her is lost the baby.
Sorry for your loss
But no you absolutely shouldn't say anything to him. People drink decaff for lots of different reasons. None of my friends even switched to decaff when they were pregnant, just drank less tea. If I heard someone asking for decaff in a coffee shop etc unless it was obvious I'd probably assume they were on a health kick or something.
You are, very understandably, sensitive about it. But it wouldn't be fair to impose that on him too.
Unfortunately a million things are likely to remind you of your loss over the coming weeks, months even longer but your heart will just get better at dealing with them over time.
I’ve drank decaf since my loss. To be honest the comments in work at first made me angry. People drink decaf for lots of different reasons so I’d assume his comment was innocent. However this close after your loss you will be feeling like everything is a personal dig. Please take a deep breath and know it gets better. Sending MASSIVE hugs. X
Thanks for your kind words 😍. They really do help! He keeps bringing it up and I have actually come to find it quite amusing (and you’re right, I’m glad that I didn’t mention anything😜).
I guess it’s like anything it’s when your feelings sneak up on you and catch you out. It still happens, and I’m sure will continue to. It is definitely getting easier though. I wonder how well this positive attitude will last when we get back on the ivf train though...
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