Hello to all mums out there, just need some advise and good words.
We had our first scan yesterday and it revealed that the baby has died at 9 weeks and i was supposed to be 13 weeks today. I didn't have any bleeding, nothing, my breasts are still sore and i can still feel all the other symptoms. For 4 weeks my body couldn't realise there's something wrong going and i think it's so cruel i have no words to describe it. My husband is really my rock and is so supportive i don't know what would i do without him. I don't know if someone could help me and answer few questions for me.
What option did you choose, medicated or surgical? I'm thinking about the surgical option but I'm scared of ga.
How long did it take you to get pregnant again and was it successful pregnancy to term?
We already have a 3 year old that's why it's so hard to believe it's all happening, she's my world, the smartest girl I've ever known.
I'm sending my love and strong healthy baby dusts to all mommies who are going through the same pain, i know how raw and devastating it is, we need to stay strong somehow ❤
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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss
Missed miscarriage at 12.5 weeks, feeling empty and heartbroken
eatingthoughts · 04/11/2017 09:28
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So sorry for your loss OP. I had a mmc at 10 weeks although the baby died around 6 weeks. I miscarried naturally and it was no more painful than a period. I just sat on the loo for quite a while with something to read and a hot water bottle. I used maternity pads and slept on a disposable changing mat. It took around 3 days for the sac to pass and after this the bleeding and pain lessened significantly. I was very tearful and upset. For me it was the last chance to have a baby but it wasn't to be. Stay strong OP. It sounds like you have good support from dh. I have heard that you can be very fertile following a mc and certainly many of my friends have fallen quickly after a loss. Take care 
Sorry to hear that OP. This was me at my 12 week scan with no bleeding or any idea that the baby had died at about 9 weeks. I opted for medical intervention and just felt numb for days. It had taken approx 2years to conceive so felt I would never have a baby. However I had one period and then got pregnant the next month! I struggled to enjoy the pregnancy as I was anxious that it would happen again but I did relax after the 20 week scan and all went well. I hope things work out for you too
I was the same as you, went for my dating scan at about 12.5 weeks and there was no heartbeat. I didnt have to choose how to deal with it as came away naturally the next day but there was so much blood it was awful 
Happily though I got pregnant again almost straight away, less than three months definitely, and once I'd got past 12 weeks I did manage to relax and enjoy my pregnancy.
Good luck to all of you suffering this horrible thing and I hope it all works out ok soon xxx
I'm so sorry for your loss OP . I opted for a surgical when I had an MMC as I thought it would be the best option for me. I started bleeding at 10 weeks only to discover the baby didn't make it past 6.5 weeks. For a few weeks after that I was just an incosolable mess. I didn't fall pregnant again until 6 months later. I would say ke gentle and kind to yourself. Take as much time as you need to heal from this. We are all different and I know loads of people who were ready to TTC almost immediately.
Thank you for your lovely words, we're a right pair aren't we? I cried all day Wednesday and most of Thursday, and by Friday I was only crying when ppl were nice to me (which tbh was quite a lot since everyone was lovely at the hospital). I don't think there's a set time to stop, we know it will get better with time, because everything always does. It doesn't help right now though! It's not silly about the GA at all, you need to do what's right for you. I will say that I felt completely safe with all those bright young things fussing around me with their medical degrees - it actually felt quite nice to put myself in someone else's hands and let them do the worrying for a bit.
We will try again v soon, although this was my first so I'm pretty apprehensive tbh. I think what I'll do is have a lovely, shiny, sparkly Christmas full of paté and Brie and expensive wine, and then see what the new year has in store 
We can totally do it. Sending love and strength to you xx
Oh OP, I'm so sorry, it's so shit. I had the same experience in my first pregnancy - went in for our 12w scan (which was actually at 13+ weeks so I felt even safer!) having seen a healthy heartbeat at 8 weeks, only to be told that baby hadn't made it past 9/10 weeks. I had an ERPC the next day as couldn't bear the thought of carrying a dead baby around any longer. For me it was completely the right decision (physically it was fine) but it's a very individual choice.
We didn't try again for a couple of years for various reasons, but when we did, I was pregnant within a couple of months with my DD, who is now 5 and lovely.
We decided to try for DC2, again fell pregnant straight away, had a tiny bit of spotting at nearly 11w and scan revealed that baby had never grown at all - there was just a pregnancy sac measuring about 5w. They wanted to scan me in a week's time to check I didn't just have my dates wrong, but I started to miscarry naturally a day or two later, and ended up having to be blue lighted into hospital for an emergency ERPC after haemorrhaging at home with no signs of the bleeding stopping. Again, the ERPC was fine and it was a relief to not be pregnant any more. We tried again straight away and I fell pregnant again a few months later, had an early miscarriage, and then fell pregnant the very next cycle with my DS. I was quite traumatised by everything and massively anxious - I spent most of the first half waiting for him to die, didn't even start to relax until the 20w scan - but he was fine.
It feels very lonely. But conversely, it's also surprisingly common, and there are people who know what you're going through. This board is a good place for support. No one I knew in real life had gone through what I had, and all I really wanted was to talk to other people who understood and had been there too. All I can do is promise that the hurt does lessen, eventually, with time. And pregnancy will never be the naively happy experience it once was, but you get through it. Best of luck to everyone on this thread
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