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Anyone 40+ had a baby after miscarriage?

(16 Posts)
Bgp22 Mon 30-Oct-17 12:41:30

Hi there. Anyone have any positive stories about having a baby over 40 after suffering a miscarriage? I recently suffered a missed miscarriage. At 12-week scan they said it hadn’t survived past 9.5 weeks. I found it pretty traumatic as I had to carry it for another 10 days (September baby rush maybe meant they were busy?) so took so long to book an erpc it ended up coming naturally. Then ended up in hospital as losing too much blood and had what they called ‘an internal’ to get it all out without anaesthetic, followed by syntocinon to control the bleeding. Not sure if that was an erpc or not. Then 3 weeks’ bleeding. Anyway, I’m 42. I already have two young children and obviously I’m very grateful for that. However I am one of three children and thought it would be nice to have another ‘before it’s too late’ as it were. But my recent experience has knocked me for six. I’m still getting over it as it was only 8 weeks ago (and it’s not like I’ve been resting and relaxing during that time what with having to put on a happy face for the kids and doing school runs etc) and I’m just not ready yet to try again. However, because of my age, I feel a huge pressure to make a decision either way about TTC as I’m panicking that I don’t have time to spend getting over this mc and then trying again. So I just feel like I’m going around in circles in my head. So, looking for positive stories from people who have had a mc over 40, recovered, and then gone on to have a baby, just to ease that panicked feeling of having to decide immediately what to do.

Ewanwhosearmy Mon 30-Oct-17 13:06:28

The year I was 42 I got pregnant twice and had 2 x mmm. First at 11 weeks and the second at 8 weeks.
While we were arguing about whether to try again I got pregnant again. The baby was born almost on the original due date plus one year.

Ewanwhosearmy Mon 30-Oct-17 13:07:36

That obviously should be mmc. I had 2 ERPCs that year too.

theothersideoftheworld Mon 30-Oct-17 13:09:13

I had my first baby after 3 mmc, aged 39. I then had another mmc aged 41 and my last baby at 42.

Smellybluecheese Mon 30-Oct-17 13:22:24

I had a baby when I was 41 after 2 miscarriages at 40, both at 8 weeks. The first natural while waiting for ERPC ( like you, very traumatic), the second was an ERPC. I waited several months after each to try again.

Bgp22 Mon 30-Oct-17 13:40:26

Thanks for your messages. It’s good to know that things can work out in the end.

GerdaLovesLili Mon 30-Oct-17 14:14:58

Yes. I had Small at 43 after several miscarriages (There's a 21 year gap between Large and Small).

We were referred to St Mary's Hospital after the third M/C and I was put onto Clexane which solved the clotting issue that they discovered.

Bath2017 Tue 07-Nov-17 18:05:07

Hi, new to this. Apologies if I've missed the threads on this. I'm 41, childless and have been trying to have a baby for 3 years. My husband is 33. I've had 4 miscarriages, all silent and died before 8 weeks.
I have low ovarian reserve so wondering whether I should keep trying? Does this mean that all my eggs are too poor?
I've had my blood checked and its fine, my womb is good. The fertility doctors say ivf wouldn't work for me as I can get pregnant without the help. So it's just keep trying and hoping. But its so hard, so upsetting, and constant heartache. No-one can say if all my eggs are not good enough, so I don't know if I keep trying this will keep happening. Is anyone else in a similar situation? Thank you x

dudemeister76 Tue 07-Nov-17 20:09:40

Bath2017 Im no expert on low egg reserve but just wanted to ask you if you're taking ubiquinol ? I've started taking it recently as I've heard its the wonder supplement for egg health in your 40's. I realise you've been trying for three years and probably already know this!!

PineapplePrincess Tue 07-Nov-17 20:17:26

@bgp22 - Thank you for asking the question I’m currently wondering.

Currently 41, and have just experienced my second miscarraige this year. First a MMC in February at 10wks, second this weekend at 6wks.

I had my DS at 37, wasn’t even trying at that point. Now after two years of trying for a sibling, we have nothing but continued disappointment.

Have partly put it down to age, you hear so much bad press about fertility declining with age. Really want to try again, but not sure if I’m being unrealistic. I don’t think you get any NHS help or support once you’re past a certain age.

Womble75 Tue 07-Nov-17 20:22:45

Had DD at 37, just had DS at 42 after 4 mc’s.
I won’t lie it’s not been easy.
DS’ pregnancy I was worried stiff but he’s here and he’s fine.
That’s it for me though - I don’t think this knackered old body could do it again.

Womble75 Tue 07-Nov-17 20:25:42

@PineapplePrincess
There is help for recurrent miscarriages whatever your age, honestly.
With my trust it was after 3 mc’s that I was referred.
My fertility was not the issue, but an undiagnosed autoimmune disease.

PineapplePrincess Tue 07-Nov-17 21:46:32

@Womble75, really? That’s interesting to know. I assumed any help, in this regard would be like NHS IVF and reserved for younger women. Might make an appointment with doctor to discuss. Have previously suffered a chemical pregnancy, but I would doubt they would count that as one of the three (but maybe worth a shot!)

@Bath2017, sorry to hear about your losses. Had wondered whether going down a private IVF route would work for us; but given we’ve managed to get pregnant, just not maintain the pregnancy wasn’t sure. Sometimes the idea of help to conceive again quicker would be good, it’s taken 9 months to get to this loss - not sure I can wait as long again. sad

Womble75 Tue 07-Nov-17 22:30:28

@PineapplePrincess nope I was referred at 40, to the recurrent miscarriage clinic.
My age didn’t come into it at all.
I, like you, couldn’t carry, but could conceive.
I would def count the chemical.

User45632874 Thu 09-Nov-17 15:28:11

Bath2017
Ask your fertility consultant about taking dhea (its not suitable for everyone so only take with advice). I had dc 2 at 39 after taking this for a while - low ovarian results - previous results, fsh 23, amh 3.2. Not sure if it helped or not but certainly worth enquiring about in my opinion. If it is recommended, it is best to take the micronized version - you can find more details from the net but as I said seek advice first.

Apple04 Thu 09-Nov-17 21:00:58

This is a really interesting thread which is giving me some hope.

Bgp22 I know how you feel about feeling the pressure due to time. I've just had a mc at 41 and part of me feels I should try again straight away but I really just want a break. I know its sensible to have a break to recover mentally but I find it so stressful if we are not ttc in case I miss the golden egg.

Bath2017 sounds like you are in a similar position to me. I'm 41 and been ttc for two years. I've just lost my fourth pregnancy. This one has completely broken me. Until now I had some hope. Ttc has taken over our lives and I'm constantly anxious. My losses have all been different, one mmc at 9 wks, followed by a termination at 14wks last year then two early mc's this year. Keep getting told its bad luck but even at 41 I don't think all four could be bad eggs. We've made an appointment at the miscarriage clinic with Mr Shehata to get further investigations as there is not much more the NHS can do. With regard low ovarian reserve, I really worried about this as well but then read a paper a few weeks ago (was on BBC) that had found that low amh /high fsh doesn't make you less likely to conceive naturally. I do worry about egg quality but that is more linked to age. I've been taking ubiquinol which is meant to help. I tried DHEA but it totally messed up my cycles. You are not alone, though it does feel like we are. Its all just so heartbreaking.

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