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I'm drowning

(5 Posts)
littlegem84 Sat 28-Oct-17 16:36:40

I was on holiday this week at 11 weeks pregnant. I had had a tiny bleed before I left but was reassured by my midwife that it was an innocent loss. I went on to bleed light amounts of old blood. On Sunday, I got my first shock of red blood blood and promptly had a 1am check up at the hospital. The doctor said my cervix was closed and that while it was as good as it could be without a scan, one would be scheduled for the following day. My scan showed the tiniest little bean in my pregnancy sac and they confirmed that it had stopped growing at week 6. I was offered a range of treatment options as I was on holiday to ensure I didn't miscarry naturally on the 7 hour drive home. On Wednesday I had misoprostol and miscarriages my baby in the bathroom of our rental cottage. I am still feeling period like cramps and bleeding and although I've cried myself dry and have a wonderful support network, I feel really angry and deceived by my body, something I don't really even feels like it belongs to me anymore. My boobs still hurt and I feel stupid for every time I cradled my little tum and talked to the baby as it seems from the time I knew I was pregnant, it had already died. I don't know what to do.

Apileofballyhoo Sat 28-Oct-17 16:49:38

I'm sorry for your loss. flowers There are no other words really to offer you. It's grief and it's reasonable and it will lessen though never really go away. You loved your little baby and you were right to do the things you did.

I lost a baby at 11 weeks too. I don't know if he (no idea if actually a he) had died a while before that or not as I delivered at home so there was no scan. I did wonder for a little while. I felt I had let him down, and I felt sorry, but honestly there are no answers and it's one of those things. One in four pregnancies end in miscarriage. My DM's friend felt like you, like her body had let her down.

Be kind to yourself.

Messgalore Sat 28-Oct-17 16:55:04

Oh op I am so sorry you lost your baby flowers

I can empathise because I had a mmc at the 12 week scan and had been chatting away to baby which had actually died around the same stage as yours , making plans and felt stupid and very lost. It is so very hard to lose a baby and I am so sorry this happened to you.

It takes most of us some time to feel a little better and things should start to feel a little better soon but you need to give yourself time to recover mentally and physically first. Please keep posting if it helps.

Sending you un mn hugs and I hope you get some sleep tonight.

littlegem84 Sun 29-Oct-17 20:21:11

Thank you both for your kind words and I'm sorry that you lost babies too. I had a hell of a day yesterday but today I'm feeling more positive. Just a question- did you feel pain for long after the mc? I have a baggy achy feeling really low down which can only be tempered with heat. Pretty sure all tissue has passed but still bleeding.

Messgalore Sun 29-Oct-17 20:56:39

I did have achey pains for a while. Definitely worth a call to dr to make sure you have adequate pain relief. I would also ask for a scan just to check your Mc is complete. Sending you another un mn hug and flowers

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