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Missed miscarriage after IVF

(38 Posts)
Hanim79 Fri 27-Oct-17 19:33:29

It is with sadness that I am asking if anyone sadly has been through a missed miscarriage with IVF and can understand how I am feeling. I have had one and was 8 weeks pregnant.

ItsLikeRainOnYourWeddingDay Fri 27-Oct-17 19:39:04

Hi. It probably wasn't classed as a missed miscarriage but I had ivf and the result on test day was positive. My hcg was less than 100 and I asked them to redo it but they wouldn't so I was left in limbo for 2 weeks until scanning. As I was using crinone gel it held back any bleeding so it was at the scan I found out the pregnancy barely even started. I had suspicions but it was an awful wait. I wish now I went for a private scan and found out sooner.

I'm sorry about your loss. Was it your first cycle?

Hanim79 Fri 27-Oct-17 19:52:13

Hi ItsLikeRainOnYourWeddingDay thank you, I feel utterly devastated. I am also sorry for your loss. How awful having to wait all that time too. It just doesn’t seem right to me. It was my first cycle. Was it your first?

ItsLikeRainOnYourWeddingDay Fri 27-Oct-17 21:19:18

It was my first cycle. It was 3 years of ttc at that point and I was broken. I didn't want to do ivf again. All the needles. The hormones. The bloating. The sedation. Everything. It's not a pleasant process. Losing a baby after ivf is just the biggest kick in the teeth.

My husband convinced me to give it one more go. So I did on the agreement that if it didn't work we would look into other options. It worked. I had my beautiful son.

Take time to grieve. To heal physically and most importantly - mentally. If you have access to a specialist infertility counsellor please use it. They helped me so much.

Look at your first round of ivf as a practise. A second round can be tailored better to you as the doctors how your body reacts to the drugs. Stay positive.

Hanim79 Fri 27-Oct-17 21:40:56

Wow congratulations on your beautiful son ❤️ And thank you for your advice and for sharing your story. It has given me hope. I have made an appointment with counseller, it’s by Skype and or telephone. My consultant actually did my two operations and I trust him. I am having the procedure on Tuesday which I am dreading. How long did you wait before doing IVF again? I have two blastocyst frozen embies.

ItsLikeRainOnYourWeddingDay Fri 27-Oct-17 21:57:15

I started my second cycle 6 months later. I just needed to get my cycle back, feel physically ok again and most importantly be mentally ready. In this time I also started my husband and I on a strict regime of supplements. Do some research and see if they could help you too - CoQ10, DHA and EPA. Also look into accupuncture. I am convinced that accupuncture and supplements helped me.

Having a consultant you trust is so important. Also look into any infertility support groups in your area.

Ivf and infertility is shit but the odds are in your favour. Throw everything you have at your next cycle and there is no reason it won't work. X

user1500330305 Fri 27-Oct-17 23:42:50

I’ve just had a 9 week, nearly ten week missed miscarriage. It was my first cycle, but 3rd transfer. Have none frozen left.
Had a little bleeding but scan showed no heartbeat.
Heartbroken. There was a heartbeat and all looked good at
8+6
I’ve got secondary infertility but need to take a little time off before trying again.
It’s a horrible time.

Apileofballyhoo Fri 27-Oct-17 23:46:29

I'm so sorry for your losses. flowers

Notonthestairs Fri 27-Oct-17 23:53:29

Yes. I had a positive pregnancy test and good HCG levels (can't believe I can't remember what they were but it was a decade ago). And then an awful 8 week scan.
Against all advice I insisted we try again immediately and DS Is now 9. There were 2 heartbeats but second baby was lost between weeks 14-16.
Whilst trying again so soon worked I wouldn't advise it - I was quite mad with it all and could barely function. It wasn't a great experience (when is it?) but I could have made it easier on us.
Wishing you the very, very bestflowers

Hanim79 Sat 28-Oct-17 08:33:29

Thank you ladies for sharing your story, must be so tough and I’m sorry others have gone through it. I feel totally devastated and deflated! I have to have the procedure on Tuesday 😶 xx

Hanim79 Sat 28-Oct-17 08:37:34

Thank you so much ItsLikeRainOnYourWeddingDay you have given me hope. I’m not getting any younger so will have to take it day by day until that time. Will definitely look into the suppliments and accpuncture. Hugs to you and your son x x

beingsunny Sat 28-Oct-17 08:39:11

I had a very early one, two days after they placed them I woke up in the middle of the night and just knew they were gone, it must have been a dramatic hormone shift or some sixth sense because I knew very strongly and was right.

Hanim79 Sat 28-Oct-17 08:51:55

I’m sorry for your loss, for everyone’s loss. Would you try again? The whole process just getting to ET is so traumatic. X

Hanim79 Sat 28-Oct-17 08:53:39

Notonthestairs it sounds horrific bless you but you got your DS! How amazing. I think my clinic advise a 3 month wait after a MC before starting again. X

Mishappening Sat 28-Oct-17 08:55:56

What a very sad time for you. I cannot imagine how you must be feeling. Take a bit of time to lick your wounds before getting set for more IVF again. The fact of a successful conception is some small comfort to hold on to. flowers

sparechange Sat 28-Oct-17 09:05:43

I’m so so sorry.
I had a missed miscarriage which was discovered at my 12 week scan.
We had already had scans at 7 and 10 weeks where the baby was measuring spot on for dates, and we heard the heartbeat, so it was a total shock.

We went on to have 2 more rounds of IVF. The first wasn’t successful and nor were the frozen transfers, but I’m now 30 weeks after another fresh round and all is well so far.

A loss after IVF feels doubly cruel and please be kind to yourself in the coming weeks.
I hope you get your happy ending very soon flowers

beingsunny Sat 28-Oct-17 09:44:35

I didn’t want to try again, I went to see a naturopath to help get my body in the best preparation for another try. I had secondary infertility, I did a three month protocol and actually fell pregnant naturally a few month later.

I think you have to give yourself time to be ready, it’s quite a stressful time which is the opposite of what you need, you will recover mentally though and I wish you all the best smile

CosySnuggles Sat 28-Oct-17 10:12:31

Hi all, @Hanim79, I sadly in almost the same position as you sad 8w2d scan on Wednesday, we discovered a missed miscarriage- development stopped at 6 weeks. Such a shock as I had all the positive symptoms and nothing to suggest there was a problem.

I'm having the op on Wednesday and already looking forward to getting past that and started with my FET. Luckily we have 2 Frosties so don't have to face a full cycle again- last one was horrific with ohss!

So sorry to hear about everyone in this horrible position, it seems extra cruel after IVF somehow! I hope your procedure goes well on Tuesday x

Hanim79 Sat 28-Oct-17 17:58:51

So sorry for your losses and story’s, you have all helped by sharing, to know I’m not the only one feeling this way. How do you get the strength to carry on? Especially after hearing a heartbeat? I never got that far but that must of been even more painful. Wow sparechange and beingsunny congratulations 🌹 you have your happy ending after all you went through. X

Hanim79 Sat 28-Oct-17 18:02:46

cosysnuggles your are nearly just the same, I found out a day after you. I also have two Frosties but the thought of going through it again 😶 and what do you mean by full cycle? I am worried about the op, how comes you have to wait longer? I did not rate the ward I had to go to most were not very sensitive to be honest X I was lucky not to get ohss but I heard how horrific it can be as a lady on the thread I used to be on had it my heart went out to her. And it goes out to all of you too x

CosySnuggles Mon 30-Oct-17 11:47:31

Thanks @Hanim79 , thinking of you! Is your op tomorrow?

I don't know why I had to wait longer, that was just the date the offered me- availability probably- I would happily have had it sooner, the waiting is awful!

That's great that you also have 2 Frosties! It makes me feel so much more positive to have that to cling onto, l hope it's helping you too x

When I mentioned a full cycle, I just meant a fresh ivf cycle with all the stims, egg collection and so on. I've had a fet before and it was soooo much easier! Although it didn't work.

Have you spoken to your clinic yet about the fet, I'd really like to at least understand the process and whether they recommend waiting for a certain length of time. I also have a concern (I'm pretty sure unfounded) that there might be an issue with our remaining embryos as they were from the same "batch"! I'm pretty sure this is not how it works, but I can't help but worry!

Anyway, I hope you're doing ok and good luck for tomorrow 😍.

CosySnuggles Mon 30-Oct-17 11:50:53

Wow @sparechange, I sant believe how many cycles you have been through! Seriously impressed with your dedication and what a wonderful result- congratulations!

I found this second cycle so much harder emotionally than the first and I'm pretty sure that I don't want to do another fresh cycle even if our fets are unsuccessful! It's difficult to say until it happens but certainly not feeling very strong just now x

Hanim79 Tue 31-Oct-17 07:11:37

Good morning and thank you CosySnuggles I’m at the hospital as we speak, sitting by my bed. It’s eerily quiet. I think I had to wait til Tuesday before it’s been busy, probably the same as you. Makes it worse doesn’t it, especially as the pregnancy symptoms are still there. The nurse I saw at my clinic said that after a miscarriage they like you to wait 3 months before starting treatment again. I have to call them when I’ve had this op so I’m sure they will tell me. I know I will have a follow up there with my consultant. Thinking of you. Big hugs. This is like a numb nightmare that doesn’t feel real xx

berryupset Tue 31-Oct-17 09:53:35

Hanim and all of you on this thread who have suffered such awful loss, I just want to say I am thinking of you and sending you hugs. I haven't had IVF, but I have experienced pregnancy loss, and it is hideous. You have every ounce of my sympathy. For me the bit between the diagnosis and the procedure is a particularly unique horror. Take very good care of yourself, and I hope those around you are too. xx

CosySnuggles Tue 31-Oct-17 12:50:32

Hi *@Hanim79*, I hope you've had the op now and are recovering well. I hope that it signals the end of this particular part of the nightmare and allows you to move on! This is what I'm hoping anyway...

That's good that you've spoken to your clinic, I think I'll ring mine next week- I was kind of hoping that they might call to check in - but anyway I would like to understand our next steps for fet. 3 months seem like such a long time to wait, but I can understand it😲.

Let us know how you're doing @Hanim79 when you get home, thinking of you x

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