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Pain and discomfort 3 weeks after miscarriage

(12 Posts)
Hopefulinbalham Mon 09-Oct-17 19:36:23

Hello. I had a miscarriage 3 weeks ago - it happened naturally. I had an internal scan last Tuesday which confirmed that internally, everything looked as it should. I’ve been having stomach cramps for the last week and they are getting worse. I’ve been feeling nauseas again since last Thursday: the nausea had gone away after 6 days. My back is also really sore.
Just wondered if anyone else had experienced this and could shed some light on it?

Cocoabean25 Fri 13-Oct-17 20:11:45

So sorry to hear about your loss. I still had pain that took a couple of months to settle down properly. The doctors couldn’t explain it but I think it was all the physical upheaval. Keep taking painkillers and a hot water bottle really helps xxx

PossibiliTea Fri 13-Oct-17 20:17:53

I'm so sorry for your loss. It takes a little while for your uterus to go back to normal size, and even though everything is ok and normal on the scan it's something you can still feel.

Focus on the positives that the scan was normal, but due to the nausea I would give the doc a call just in case there is any infection.

It took me a lot longer than I expected to get back to normal physically.

Hopefulinbalham Fri 13-Oct-17 20:58:45

Thanks both for your messages - I really appreciate them.
I went to the docs and he said he thought it was my uterus going back go normal size and my body taking time to adjust and get back to normal. He advised me to take some time off and so I have taken most of this week off, and do feel better. I’ve slept a lot.
It’s such a physical and emotional upheaval, as you say, and I’m not great at resting, but am trying to accept that it’ll be a little while before everything is back to normal.
I’m sorry that you have been through this too and hope you are both feeling ok xx

PossibiliTea Fri 13-Oct-17 22:03:02

It's so difficult because you want to just be back to normal as soon as possible but just be kind to yourself and try and take it easy, let other people take care of you too!

I know what you mean I'm rubbish at resting I'm so impatient! So glad you have taken some time off though xx

AnotherBloodyUsername Fri 13-Oct-17 22:06:06

I'd get it checked, but then I am over cautious

I had a miscarriage, then a D&C, then a few weeks later, a very late diagnosed ectopic

It won't hurt just to double check - my situation was unusual

Sparklemotion88 Wed 18-Oct-17 19:53:02

Hello.

I'm VERY new to all of this so slightly nervous, but I've been torturing myself googling various things and reading through endless articles and forums that I thought I'd give it a go. Basically, I had my dating scan on September 28th where I was supposed to be 13 weeks pregnant. There was no heartbeat and it turned out it had died at 10 weeks. I was sent away and returned 48 hours later to have a "medical management" miscarriage (or so I think they are called... pessories, lots of pain, and passing a very obvious baby and placenta into bowls for a nurse to see... sorry for the detail). It was awful. My other half and I have been devasted. Anyway I have two questions. The first is how long will it take to have a negative pregnancy test? (I tested yesterday, 17th October, and got a very faint positive). My second question is what on earth are these sharp pains I'm feeling either side of my abdomen, very low down? Everything is new to me. It was my first pregnancy and I told very little people so I just feel alone and like I have no one to talk to. I'm also desperate to conceive again now to the point where I've been trying since a week after my miscarriage (30th September) when the bleeding stopped.

Any experiences/advice/general chat would be much appreciated. Thanks xx

Hopefulinbalham Wed 18-Oct-17 20:35:15

Hello,
I’m really sorry to hear about your loss. It is a lonely time but a relief to have forums like this. Nevertheless, its a heartbreaking thing to go through and not easy at all.
My doctor said my pains were my uterus contracting back to it’s normal size. For me, they lasted a week. I took some more time off work and I’m glad I did as I was knocked sideways and really exhausted. The pains went away as I slept a bit more and I haven’t had them since (so they lasted from week 3 to week 4).
It’s worth going to the doctor as they can check if you have any other symptoms and make sure everything is ok.
Did you go back for a scan after 2 weeks? My miscarriage happened naturally so it may be that you don’t need that, but I had an internal scan which showed that everything had returned ‘to normal’ and so I was ok with the doc saying the pains were normal. If you haven’t had a scan, it would be worth getting checked out to be on the safe side.
I did a pregnancy test after 3 weeks and it was negative. I think that the pregnancy hormone can take up to 35 days to fade. I had a blood test after 2 weeks and the pregnancy hormones were sky high still so it could be that you still have some.
Having a miscarriage is a major thing and so I wouldn’t feel guilty about going to the doctor again and getting checked out.
I am currently covered in spots, which I think are also the hormones. I’m still pretty emotional and really shattered. My boobs have gone down mostly but not fully. It was my first pregnancy too and I had no idea of the changes that happen and all of the hormonal surges that take place. I’m just explaining this in case you have these things too so that it seems a bit more normal. People just don’t talk about these things and it’s such a big thing for your body to go through.
I have good days and bad days. Reading on this forum about the common occurrence of miscarriage and how people go on to have babies afterwards helps. It doesn’t take the pain away, but it does help.
I hope this has helped x

Sparklemotion88 Wed 18-Oct-17 22:49:31

Thank you for your reply. Honestly, it really helps hearing about someone else who's gone though it. I get what you mean when you say it's a lonely time. It helps to know what to expect as well, and what's considered "normal". I'm devasted still, and it's 18 days since. I have PCSO AND my partner is in the army, so whether I'll conceive again is probably unlikely. The fact that I did in the first place was a miracle.

Can I ask when you got your period? It's so rubbish not knowing when your body is going to do stuff. It's all up in the air. Aches and pains that you don't understand. Hormones going mad. But nothing good to show for it. Colleagues etc are sympathetic for a few days then life goes on. For me I'm still heart broken that I'm not getting the life and family I fantasised about for that 12 weeks. I hope one day it'll happen for me. Who knows. I'm 30 in March... I guess I'm just all doom and gloom at the moment.

Do you have any children?

Thanks again for your reply xxxxx

Hopefulinbalham Thu 19-Oct-17 02:37:55

Hi,

I’m so glad to have helped. I don’t have any children yet either and this was my first pregnancy too. It is awful the way that nature continues to make you experience the symptoms so that you have all of that hope and excitement and then it’s all gone.

I had my miscarriage 4 weeks and 2 days ago and I haven’t had my period yet. The consultant said that it should come 4 weeks after I stopped bleeding and that was 3 weeks ago, so I’m expecting it in around 1 week.

I read a really good book by Lesley Regan on miscarriage and that helped. Much of it is aimed at people who have recurrent miscarriages but there’s still some useful general information on causes and miscarriage rates that might be helpful because it shows that the chances of a healthy pregnancy after miscarriage are good so it gave me hope. It’s still available on Amazon if you wanted to look.

Quite a few of our friends had miscarriages and then went on to have healthy children. I think the hardest thing is the loss of hope but when you look at the number of others who have gone on to have healthy children, there is reason to hope..I know it’s tough on a bad day to feel hopeful.

x

Hopefulinbalham Tue 24-Oct-17 18:09:58

Hi Sparklemotion88,

I just wanted to let you know that I got my period 27 days after I stopped bleeding (odd thing to let you know, but you did ask!).

It’s been 5 weeks and I’m still totally exhausted. I need to sleep for almost one full day at the weekend to catch up... I think it’s the effect of the grief and upset catching up with me by the time the weekend comes around.

Hope you’re doing well,
xx

Sparklemotion88 Tue 24-Oct-17 23:44:04

Hi Hopefulinbalham,

Thank you so much for your replies. You’ve literally said everything that I’ve been experiencing/thinking. Even down to the pesky spots that have now appeared all over my face. I hope you’re ok, or at least feeling a bit better now. I can’t say I do. Although I’m sure deep down I must be better...

It's been 3 weeks since then and I'm trying so hard. I have been back to work part time and some days I am good but honestly I am just gutted. Gutted isn't the word. I know this happens all the time but I really thought this was my chance at life you know? Nothing has really ever worked out for me and I thought yes! This is my time! I don't even know if I will ever conceive again and the crap thing is that I wasn't even fussed about having children before all this. Now I've had a taster and had 12 long weeks to think about myself as a mum while I was pregnant, I want it more than anything now. Cruel isn't it. I was so so excited.

I just can't pick myself up. I'm STILL crying about it. 3 weeks later! Every day. All the time! Daft. I feel so sorry for my other half. He's been amazing but I can't imagine it's nice for him having to deal with me like this. I'm worried everyone is rolling their eyes at me and thinking I'm weak. Like why can't I get over it and why do I feel so so so down? I can't explain it. I feel utterly crap. Life seems bleak and I can't focus. No motivation and utterly fed up.

My step sister went and announced she was pregnant last weekend too. Due the 7th April, my due date was the 8th! What are the chances of that. Except she had her scan pictures. All happy and well. Honestly do you ever just get the feeling in life sometimes that you must be an awful person and you're being punished for it? That’s how low I’ve been feeling recently. And then yesterday I hear one of the mums at work is expecting in April too!(I work in a children’s day nursery). I feel awful for being so jealous of them. I shouldn’t be negative about it it’s super lovely for them but it just hurts that it was that easy for them.

Thank you for letting me know about your period (it was odd of me to ask so thank you!). I think one of the things really getting to me is not knowing what my body is doing or what to expect. I finally got my negative test yesterday (so 23 days since miscarriage). Well, it was really really really faint positive but bacially not there and lighter than my last one which is the main thing. Just my period to show up now. From your time frame it should show up in the next week or so too. Then hopefully my body will start going back to normal. I completely understand what you mean when you say you’re tired and need to sleep all the time. I’m also still cramping and have headaches at least once a day (I never used to have headaches).

Sending love. I hope you recover well and get the little healthy baby you want one day soon xxxxxx

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