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To try again?

(3 Posts)
BeyondHope Sun 08-Oct-17 08:52:06

I am in need of some advice from people who have been through something similar to me. I keep going round in circles and not sure I am ever going to be able to make a decision. I have one DS who is 3 and since I had him I have had 5 miscarriages. Ranging from 5 weeks to the last one I had in June at 14 weeks.

I was referred to the Coventry RMC after my 3rd loss, had a natural miscarriage whilst waiting for my appointment and was a few weeks pregnant when I finally got to see Professor Quenby. I was scanned and everything was fine, 12 week scan fine and then there was no heartbeat at 14 weeks. I had an ERPC and tests carried out on both the baby and myself. The baby tests came back about 6 weeks ago as chromosomally abnormal and my blood tests came back earlier this week as all fine. We've been given the all clear to try again.

This is the question. Can I face trying again. Can I go through another loss and come out the other side. My loss in June was so hard to cope with. It really hit me hard and I wasn't sure I was ever going to be OK again. I've spent these last 13 weeks recovering and I feel better. I've enjoyed the ttc break and I've focused my energy on my DS, my DH and a new job which I love. I've lost 2 stone so I'm now a healthy bmi.

So now it comes to trying again I am not sure. I am so desperate for another baby but I know that I could also be facing another loss. Does my fear of that override my longing for a baby? I think if those 5 babies and my heart breaks. I need something good to come out of all of this and I ache for a baby. I don't want to look back and think I should have given it one more go. Everything is healthy, I should try again. But then if I did fall pregnant my anxiety would be through the roof.

I'm going round in circles and I'm sorry for the long rambling post. I just can't seem to come to a decision. How can I put aside my fear in the hope of getting my longed for baby? Thanks for reading if you got this far!

OP’s posts: |
MUMOFANANGEL84 Mon 09-Oct-17 23:26:04

It's natural to be concerned. I have only had one miscarriage at 16 weeks and I am nervous about trying again let alone five. I just feel that I know I want a family and that I would kick myself in years to come if I don't try. Never give up hope.L.xx

randomuser64746 Thu 12-Oct-17 17:38:26

I can relate, sort of. We have had 6 m/c and finally had our daughter last year dec/2017. Each one was 8 - 12 weeks. We had all sorts of tests both private and on NHS and everything came back fine.

we would catch each time in around 1-3 months although one time it took us 1 year and so its been 5 years of trying before we got our daughter.

First one was the worst and the others got easier but the stress of trying to get pregnant and the negative tests was constant and then when it came out positive there was a breif 5 second moment when you though this could be it before you go back into fear and anxitiy about the next m/c.

most of out m/c were at 7.5 - 9.5 weeks. All missed misscaraiges and we would have weekly scans and nightly dooplas (we are both bloody good and finding a heartbeat from 7 weeks now).

we were angry at everyone with children and people who got pregnant by mistake and my wife who's a nurse had to deal with everything form babies withdrawing form heroin to teenage kids asking for abortions. The whole process was exhausting and consumed us for years.

We both stopped drinking alcohol exercised liked crazy, ate just organic you name it we tired. All the time our families and friends new nothing of our struggle.

our daughter is now 10 months and in August we started trying again. we had long talks about it but decided we would love her to have a brother or sister and so we begin again. We caught in August and are now 8 weeks 5 days. 3 early scans all looking good and 10 mins ago I heard our heart on the doopla all doing fine.

However I am fully expectant to go for a scan on sunday and hear nothing. The scanners are always so happy and cheerful and the moment i shut the door i break down. I hate being in the room and cant stand the process.

we looked into all sorts of drugs and treatments and when we successfully had our daughter my wife was taking 50mg of Asprin. at around weeks the placenta takes over and the blood travels along the tiny umbilical cord that is mm thick. The theory goes that the blood was to thick to reach the baby and it died. Makes sense to me and first pregnancy on Asprin we had our daughter.

I am now only 3 weeks away from a 12 week scan where my anxitiy lowers. I don't know if we will try again if this one doesn't work out the pregnancy's take a tool on us both plus the morning sickness is so seavere my wife is in hospital every 4 weeks or so for 48 to get fluids back in here where she is so dehydrated.

despite our journey we both really want a second baby and a I am hopeful that this asprin will do the job. All i can say is go for it and keep your fingers crossed. you can do it as you have before, just make sure you are both ready and go for it.

I wish you the best of luck and please look into low does asprin, if we have 2 successful babies on it after 6 losses then im sure there must be something to it.

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