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(9 Posts)
Irish88 Mon 14-Aug-17 19:39:15

Hi, I have never started a topic, or even replied to a topic on this site before, however over the last two weeks i have found this place to have been a real comfort to me. Two weeks ago when i was 8+5 weeks pregnant i was about to get in the shower after work when i noticed some brown discharge in my pants. I went downstairs and told my husband and after some googling we both felt like it wasn't anything too serious and just one of these things that happen in early pregnancy.

The next day however when i was in work i started getting bad cramps and when i went to the bathroom i had more brown discharge. I spoke with my mum who was concerned and suggested i rang the hospital (as it was a Saturday). The midwife on the phone was lovely and reassured me that brown blood was usually old blood but to be on the safe side they booked me into the EPU for a scan on the Tuesday.

The night before the scan I had some bad cramping in my back and I think this was when I kind of realised deep down that it was not going to be ok. The next morning on the drive to the hospital my husband was remaining optimistic and I felt a bit excited again because what if it was all ok and I was going to see my baby's heartbeat for the first time?

The woman who did the scan was so lovely and put me at ease. After asking a few questions she called my husband into the room and started the scan. There was complete silence. She moved the scanner over my stomach a few times and then after a couple of minutes asked if she could do an internal scan. Again there was complete silence for ages until; "I'm so sorry, I cannot find a heartbeat". I looked at my husband and gave him a small smile, "I knew it".

She told us that i should be 9 weeks but the baby was measuring 8. I had had a missed miscarriage. I went home to wait for it to happen naturally with another appointment booked for the following week. Nothing much happened except for more brown blood and some cramps. I attempted to go back to work but after 3 days i couldn't face it. Emotionally i felt strange. Sad but mostly lonely. No one else i know had ever heard of a MMC.

I went back on the Thursday and opted for the medical management. I took 4 pills orally and went home. Two days later I went back for another scan and I had 4 pessaries inserted internally and was told I would have strong period cramps and to go back to hospital if i bled through 4 pads in an hour.

I just want to say that i did not have strong period pains. Although I have never given birth before I can only describe the pain as a form of labour. From 1:30pm until 6:30pm i was in agony. I was taking strong cocodamol and ibuprofen and they did not touch the pain. I had a hot water bottle on my back and one on my stomach. My husband tried putting me in a hot bath, then i tried lying in bed, then i sat on the toilet. I became afraid and asked my husband to phone the hospital and see if this was normal. They were very nice but said they could do nothing more for me in hospital but if i really wanted to come in i could. I don't think i could have made it to the car to be honest.

Eventually after 5 hours of intense contractions i started to bleed and the pain stopped immediately. My husband made me soup, i got into bed with my hot water bottle and prayed that it was over and i wouldn't end up needing a d&c anyway after all of that.

Today i went for another scan and i was told that i had passed the sac and although there was still some lining to come away i would not need the d&c. I am now at home feeling quite sad and still very sore and crampy. Not much appetite and no one really who understands what is happening. My husband and family are amazing but i just thought i would write my story on here for anyone else going through this.

The hospital staff were amazing and so compassionate. I only wish i had known how painful it would be. I am not a drama queen and normally have a high enough pain threshold but that was intense!

Anyway apologies for the book and if anyone who has gone through this or is currently going through this would like to reply i would be grateful smile

OP’s posts: |
Orangebird69 Mon 14-Aug-17 19:43:07

I haven't OP but I couldn't read and run. I'm so so sorry flowers. Life is intolerably cruel sometimes x

WishUponAStar88 Mon 14-Aug-17 19:48:25

I'm so sorry flowersflowers take time to look after yourself. I had a mmc last year and I agree it is truely horrific, I also had medical management and was shocked by the pain (had had a baby previously and one since - definitely like labour pains).

The pain will ease although of course there will always be sadness. Unmumsnetty hugs flowers

Irish88 Mon 14-Aug-17 19:58:55

Thank you both so much for replying! WishUponAStar88 I'm sorry you experienced this too! This was my first pregnancy so I am still pretty shocked at the pain but i know i will recover, it will just take time smile

OP’s posts: |
ferriswheel Mon 14-Aug-17 20:09:17

You sound very strong. It is a sad and difficult time.

Following my mmc I am sat here with my three children. All born within 39 months of my mmc.

I broke my heart for my lost baby but had I not lost that baby I wouldn't be here with my three. I couldn't possibly wish to change that.

The hardest part was not knowing if I could carry full term and all the helpful comments about how 'common' it was. I was, for a very long time, distraught, devastated and heartbroken.

If you want to pm feel free. Time can be heavy on your hands during this.

Thinking of you. And sorry for your loss.

Irish88 Mon 14-Aug-17 20:22:23

Thank you so much for replying ferriswheel! I think that is what i worry about most...will it happen again? But I need to be positive. It is no doubt a crappy situation but i need to look forward. Although i don't think i will be relaxed again in a pregnancy. It sounds stupid and selfish but i never thought it would happen to me...

OP’s posts: |
Borntoflyinfirst Mon 14-Aug-17 20:24:05

My 2nd pregnancy ended in mmc. Like you I'd never heard of such a thing existing. It is truly cruel of nature. We went for a dating scan and the lady used the phrase 'the sac measures...' I knew that was wrong as we already had a dd. Sure enough we had a blighted ovum. There was a pregnancy but no baby in the sac. It was heartbreaking. I opted for medical management thinking it would be easier (dd was 11 months at the time). I was so wrong. It hurt. A lot. Physically and emotionally. I wouldn't ever recommend that course of action again.

However within 2 months I was pregnant again. Ds is now 10 and dd2 is 7. Just because it happens once doesn't mean it will happen again. Being pregnant after was scary. We had a private scan at 7 weeks and saw a little peanut with a beating heart which was very reassuring!

Allow yourself as much time as you need to recover. You may always think 'what if' but it won't always be this painful. Take care flowers

Irish88 Mon 14-Aug-17 20:28:24

Thank you for replying Borntoflyinfirst! I'm so sorry this happened to you as well sad

We were told today by the hospital staff that the next time we get pregnant we can get an early scan from 6 weeks to put us at ease. I'm so glad to hear that you're next two pregnancies were successful smile

OP’s posts: |
ImnotawitchImyourwife Tue 15-Aug-17 01:02:04

Missed miscarriage is soul destroying and it sounds like you've really been through the mill with yours. So sorry for your loss flowers

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