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Pls can you tell me your MMC experiences

(76 Posts)
CremeDeSudo Sat 22-Jul-17 07:54:50

I went for an early scan on Wed at 8,4. Baby was measuring 7,5 and had no heartbeat sad

I'm trying wait for nature to take it's course but not much is happening. I've had some cramping and back ache, all my symptoms have gone and had a tiny bit of brown discharge yesterday. But I want it to all be over now.

I've been told I can change my mind and opt for a pessary but my friend told me that was incredibly painful and to avoid it. So I'm not sure what to do.

I'm hoping some of your experiences might help.

Did it happen naturally after? How long after your scan? Has anyone had the medically induced MC?

TIA MN x flowers

OP’s posts: |
YoureNotASausage Sat 22-Jul-17 08:03:36

Sorry this has happened Creme, I hope you're ok. Not me but my close family member. She opted for a d&c as the waiting was too horrible and can go on for weeks. She was glad to make the decision, have the procedure and not have weeks of her life dictated by 'when will it start' 'can't do that as I might be muscarrying'. It's personal choice though.

CremeDeSudo Sat 22-Jul-17 08:09:41

The Dr put me off a D&C so I'd discounted it. But I have to admit that does appeal. I'm planning on taking 4yr pld DS into town to the library today and wondering if it's a really bad idea. I wish they hadn't given me the options almost!

OP’s posts: |
NetflixandBill Sat 22-Jul-17 08:10:03

I've had the pessary and the surgical method. Pessary was very painful and didnt actually work; i ended up miscarrying naturally four days later at home.

The erpc was much preferable from my pov. Was only in hospital a few hours, I had very little bleeding afterwards and it was nice to know that it was over so i could move on.

After both mcs, my period returned after about 8 weeks and i fell pregnant easily, though it was a horrible, uncertain time. I am currently sat feeding my third time lucky newborn son. I hope everything works out for you flowers

UnicornsandRainbows1 Sat 22-Jul-17 11:27:03

I'm sorry you're going through this!

My story is basically that I went to the EPU at 12w1 on the 11th (my dating scan would've been the 12th). I had very minor brown spotting and somewhat period-like cramping. Basically it was bad news where I measured both 6 and 9 weeks (if that makes sense), and I was booked in for a rescan the following week. The evenings after (the 12th-13th) my body tried to miscarry but I went for a scan on the 18th and all that had essentially happened was part of the sac had collapsed in the middle (after all that!). After an incomplete miscarriage I was given the option of medical or surgical management. I took the d&c on the 19th as whilst both options freaked me out a bit, the possibility of going through the event again and it still be incomplete was heavily on my mind.

There was blood afterwards and honestly (just because I'd rather inform someone), I did have a clot come out afterwards. It was just the one and it hasn't happened after, plus the bleeding is pretty minimal atm).

I think you need to do what is best for you, personally I don't regret the d&c as the idea of more prolonged failure just drags it out and I'd rather try and pick up what pieces I can I slowly put one step in front of the other.

Sorry it was a bit long-winded.

CremeDeSudo Sun 23-Jul-17 09:37:10

Thank you everyone.

I'm calling the EPU tomorrow and I think I'll ask about the D&C. I've had back pain and feeling generally unwell/spacey but nothing else.

I'm making myself anxious worrying about when it's going to happen, the pain that's coming and what I'm going to see. I'm now not sleeping v well either.

Just want it over now!

OP’s posts: |
user1497802451 Sun 23-Jul-17 23:49:35

I've had 4 miscarriages all natural. First 3 didn't know anything was wrong until I was miscarrying because had no early scans. Last one knew I was going to but the wait was awful after the scan. I eventually opted to book for d and c as I wanted it over with so I could move on but ended up miscarrying just before. Nurse advised me to book it if I wasn't sure and I could always cancel. Having the booking did put my mind at rest some what as it gave me an end point. Can't cope with waiting.

Sorry for no experience of other procedures but just wanted to add that with all my miscarriages I had no symptoms before hand until slight brown discharge about a day or two before they started so you might not be far off. I know that's no real help as no one can know for sure.

If you choose to wait, I would stay close to home or at least be in a position where you can get yourself home if you need to. I went out with my toddler a lot to take my mind off it but always with the car so that if the worst happend I wouldn't be relying on public transport.

Whatever you choose, I hope its over for you soon. I was in your position a month ago and I really feel for you.

fbradf01 Sun 23-Jul-17 23:57:10

So sorry for your loss x
I've had 5 Mcs two of which were mmcs. Both times I opted for a d&c. Sadly one of these d&cs gave me ashermans syndrome, which is scar tissue in the uterus, no one warned me or highlighted this risk. Whilst the risk is small I wish I'd known before! I wouldn't have another d&c after this whatever the pain or wait may be but it was the right decision for me at the time and may be for you too.
Good luck whatever you decide and be kind to yourself x

ALLthedinosaurs Mon 24-Jul-17 02:01:24

Im so sorry this is happening OP. MMCs are bloody horrible, especially since you have to choose when you feel so heartbroken and bloody bewildered.

I lost my last LO at 9 weeks. Saw him on screen all perfect, but no heart beat. Absolutely devastating. I had 3 scans to confirm it. I wanted to do it naturally ay first because forcing the end felt wrong to me but we waited for LO to come for weeks and nothing happened. Nurse specialist warned me it could take 7 weeks (that was the longest she had seen it take, I asked. That would be extremely unusual) so I waited it out a bit longer and nothing, not even pain. Pregnancy symptoms continued.

In the end the fear and sadness got too much and I opted for D&C. I was terrified and not sleeping, spending all my time hysterical. I couldn't look after my DH or DS or think about anything else. The day I booked my surgery was the first time I'd slept in weeks. It was the best thing I could have done for my mental health.

Surgery itself was fine. I had a general anaesthetic. They gave me a whacking dose of opiates to keep me on the table and then sent me to sleep. I was up chatting within an hour and on my way home in a few more hours and the relief was incredible.

I had complications afterwards with retained products which can happen sometimes. It involved a hospital stay but my care was amazing, I didn't need extra surgery as my body took care of it. I knew the worst was over and knew LO remains safely on route to the crematorium. That part was really important to me.

I wouldn't wish the weeks in between on my worst enemy. It was absolute psychological torture for me. LO's remains are now peacefully resting in a lovely garden full of wildlife close by flowers

I would recommend and do the D&C again without a doubt.

Obviously only you know what you can cope with and what you would prefer and will need to figure it out yourself, but you have nothing to lose by going for a pre-op appointment while you're still deciding. You can change your mind at any time, even once you've signed the forms, and if you don't change your mind, then you won't have a longer wait.

Good luck with whatever you choose. I'm so sorry it's a decision you're having to make x

loz12345 Mon 24-Jul-17 02:27:55

I am sorry you are having to deal with this.

I had a MMC at 13 weeks so a bit further along than you and decided to wait it out unfortunately for me it was the wrong decision as after a couple of days of spotting I ended up bleeding heavily and was rushed to a and e and had an emergency ercp, and narrowly missed needing a blood transfusion. The procedure was under ga and was quick with minimal bleeding afterwards ( I was walking round LEGOLAND the next day even tho I felt crap cos of the blood loss). I wish I had opted for the ercp to start with as it would have avoided a lot of worry and uncertainty I was also given the choice of cremation or burial which I wasn't expecting but it was in a strange way quite reassuring and the staff were lovely, just so you know though even though it felt like the end of the world at the time and did take 3 attempts I am now up feeding my 3 week old.

However you decide to deal with it try and rest as much as you can I didn't and wish I had because it's emotionally and physically draining xxxx

Ches90 Tue 25-Jul-17 11:50:16

I'm so sorry for your loss. I've just had my second missed miscarriage - they really are awful sad.

It's horrible having to choose which option you want. A bit like someone saying 'would you rather me break your foot or your hand?' It just feels like their are no good options - you just have to go with what feels right to you. Doesn't mean it would be right for someone else.

For my first MMC I found out at my 12 week scan that baby had died at 9 weeks. I decided i wanted to wait because the other options terrified me. Unfortunately my body wasn't doing anything at all and so i had the pessarys a couple of weeks later. For me personally that was the wrong decision. I had intense pain and contractions, the pessarys also gave me vomiting and diarrhoea at the same time..eugh. And then i haemorrhaged - it went on for hours and it didn't even work. The baby and my placenta had to be removed via forceps so they were out, but then two weeks later i began contracting and bleeding heavily again. And again 1 week later. 1 week after that i ended up back in hospital being told my womb had turned sceptic due to "pregnancy tissue" remaining and i had to have emergency ERPC surgery when i should have been 19 weeks pregnant. The ERPC surgery worked for me that time and i was finally able to start moving on.

Sadly i've just had my second MMC - this time baby died at 7+3 and i found out at 9 weeks. I waited for just over 2 weeks but nothing happened - i think my body would turn sceptic again before miscarrying naturally so even though i wanted to wait longer i was advised not to. I was also advised i was likely to haemorrhage again. I had the ERPC surgery again last week to remove baby - i'm currently waiting to see if everything has gone atm. Fingers crossed it has as i don't fancy another surgery.

To my current knowledge, both surgery's went okay for me and had no complications. They also avoid the trauma of seeing baby -
i found that horrible the first time sad.

You need to go with what is right for you. The pessary's for me were horrendous, however i had a friend who took them and for her they went okay and they worked. Everyone is different.

Do what is right for you & you will get through this. I hope whichever option you choose is right for you and that you never have to experience this again.

Good luck xx

gingerbreadmam Tue 25-Jul-17 11:54:31

i've had two mmc's. My first one i went the natural route but nothing happened so had the pessaries.

I didn't find then that painful tbh but they didn't work either and i ended up with a d&c a week later.

After all the waiting etc i was traumatised tbh. After second mmc i demanded a d&c and had it the next day. Absolutely fine. Both times period returned about 28 days later.

Sorry for your loss. Hope you are ok.

FuzzyOwl Tue 25-Jul-17 11:58:21

Sorry for your loss flowers

With my mmc I didn't miscarry naturally (despite waiting about seven weeks) so I had surgical management. It was a quick operation and physically I recovered well and would probably have been unaware of the operation if I hadn't known (it was that quick a recovery). I then only bled lightly for a short time and wasn't ever in any pain.

CremeDeSudo Tue 25-Jul-17 13:53:35

Thank you everyone for your stories. I didn't know anything of any of this darker side of pregnancy and all your tales, and my own are making me cry!

I'm going to the hospital tomorrow morning to meet with the Dr. I think I'm going to push for the D&C as I think the limbo/uncertainty/waiting is making me ill now.

On that note - is it normal to feel so spaced/dizzy/generally not quite right? I'm worn out just from walking upstairs at the moment. I have a sore throat and feel like I'm fighting something off so not sure if it's that, a sign that the MC is going to happen soon or my stress/anxiety returning..

OP’s posts: |
CremeDeSudo Wed 26-Jul-17 11:20:27

Having a D&C either tmw or Fri. They're comfirming later. I'm so relieved.

OP’s posts: |
Ilovecoleslaw Wed 26-Jul-17 15:49:38

Hope it goes well op.
I had one 6wks ago and it was very quick.
Best wishes flowers

Ilovecoleslaw Wed 26-Jul-17 15:55:17

Just want to add I had minimal bleeding afterwards which lasted on and off for a couple of weeks. I had quite a bit of pain when I came round from the surgery but they gave me a good lot of morphine and my pain was fine with paracetamol on discharge a few hours later.
I alao got my period about a month after the d&c flowers

CremeDeSudo Wed 26-Jul-17 16:02:56

Thanks smile

Sucks being women mind doesn't it!

OP’s posts: |
TurquoiseDress Wed 26-Jul-17 22:17:03

So sorry to hear about your MMC it's an all round shit experience.

Last summer I was 12+6 and excited about the dating scan for baby number 2.

The night before I had some brown spotting, which I tried to put out of my mind and not worry too much about.

But, somehow I had that "sinking feeling"

Next morning on scan day I woke up to bleeding like a period sad

I knew it was game over- all our plans for a sibling for our 2 year old, the plans for maternity leave (all in my head at that point), excitement at telling close family, how would we announce the happy news.

All gone in split second.

At the scan trey started taking about signing up for a trial, doing bloods etc- I just asked them to get on with it.

I think DH was more shocked than me, I kind of went in fearing the worse.

Afterwards, we booked a D&C for after the weekend but I changed my mind (irrational fears about it affecting my chances of conceiving again) and asked for the pessaires.

Medical management took forever- the main event was actually 9 days after putting the pessaires in confused
The day I was due back to work!

I found it bearable, with strong painkillers, and it was only afterwards that I realised I had been having contractions leading up to the main event. (Had ELCS with 1st baby)

All I can advise is to listen to the health professionals, ask the questions you need to & weigh up the pros & cons for yourself.

I didn't regret medical management despite it being long winded.

On another note, we started TTC as soon as I got a BFN last July but sadly no pregnancy yet.

But still (fairly) hopeful although I'll admit I'm losing any positivity I had left after the MMC.

Sorry to ramble on, really hope you fall pregnant again v soon.

Good luck with everything & take it easy, one step at a time

TurquoiseDress Wed 26-Jul-17 22:20:53

Just to add that my pregnancy stopped developing around 8 weeks- so it was a full 5 weeks before I had ANY sign that something was not right.

Did not have an early scan as there were no issues (that I knew of) and had no bleeding or pain or anything really!

My body really pulled a fast one on me with it all.

Yes you're right- I too had absolutely NO idea of this dark side of pregnancy, miscarriage and loss.

It truly felt like something quite far away even though I know women who have gone through it.

Until it happens to you, it's hard to have ANY real idea of what it's like and the emotions involved etc

weasledee Wed 26-Jul-17 22:31:14

Hi turquoise, can I ask did you take the oral tablet a couple of days before the pessaries?
I've taken that tablet this morning and I'm worried that something will happen tonight before I even have the pessaries!

TurquoiseDress Wed 26-Jul-17 23:57:00

Sorry to hear you're in the same situation.

I was only given 2 pessaries by my local hospital and no oral tablets to take.

They gave me some strong pain killers as well and I went off home to put the pessaries in and go through the whole "process".

I was very glad to be in my own home & bed for it rather rather than be in hospital, but that was just me.

user1498854762 Fri 28-Jul-17 12:01:32

Hi CremeDeSudo, it's not easy but I'll share my experience with you and the ladies on here and anyone else going through this ordeal. This was my second miscarriage recently and this one has left me down but I'm confident I'll pick myself up.

I'll spare you all that happened before this but assume all the same with excitement, hope, plans, especially waiting and trying for nearly 7 years now and this was our third attempt at IVF. I'm 31!

Well it was a positive test and I did everything I was told. Ate well. Slept well. Water and folic acid.

It started when I had a bit of blood in week 5 and day 4 and then 3 days later a liner of blood overnight. I was on progesterone tablets. 1 week later I had the Week 6 scan, no heartbeat but still a little early so After 7 weeks I was told I had a miscarriage.

I was told to wait up to 2 weeks and stop tablets and it should pass naturally, if not, contact the clinic. Went back to work and 2 weeks later nothing passed.

After week 2 I was told to take a pregnancy test to see if the hormone level is still high. It was positive. If positive, next step is a scan.

I went for a scan the next day which showed gestational sac but it looked like it had divided into 7 sections. I was told it was 'cystic' and similar to another ailment and could be the placenta taking over the pregnancy and trying to maintain it. In any event, it needs to be gotten out as there's definitely no baby.

I was told the options are:

1. Wait

2. Medicine - oral or vaginal

3. Minor surgery

1 wasn't an option unless I insisted on it but in their opinion I'd waited long enough. Option 2 had the lower risk, is 80-90% successful, will be painful cramps so need strong pain meds and need to be off work for minimum 2 days and after 10 days come back for a scan. Option 3 was more successful and it would be sorted and done after a few hours. This would mean anaesthesia and hospital stay for a few hours and is more successful. Had usual surgery risks - infection etc.

I went for option 2.

After taking the misoprostol at 12.30pm vaginally (because vaginally is faster), by 6pm I was cramping and needed my tabs. I wore a very heavy flow thick sanitary towel. I chose nurofen with codeine and took that with paracetamol. It worked! I felt like my pad was soaking so went to the loo. Sure enough it was drenched, I sat on the toilet and immediately I was flooding the loo with blood and then came through what felt larger than golf balls, maybe tennis balls passing right through into the toilet. Loud large plops and a very messy water closet. 3 blobs fell through. I had to flush 3 times!! It was not painful passing but just shocking and emotional.

Then I went back to lie down and 30mins later the same wet pad feeling. Sat on the loo again and had a repeat blob passage. This happened in total 3 times with heavy flow passing through within 2 hours.

After that I just felt numb and tired, went to drink lots of water. Haven't had an appetite since I was pregnant and still don't have any appetite.

It's now 3 days later, the cramps stopped previously but Day 3, they're back.

Today is Friday. This scan and tablet happened on Tuesday. Day 10 scan is next Friday and I'm looking forward to finding out this nightmare is over.

I'm sorry this post isn't positive and hopeful but it's realistic and it's raw emotion and probably how many people feel at this point and it's okay to feel this way. Its okay to be angry and upset and stay up all night crying whilst the hormones are still clearing and I deal with what feels like devastating grief and work through to acceptance. I'll pop back and share when I feel much better.

I'm sorry for your loss and I hope you feel better soon 😘

CremeDeSudo Sat 29-Jul-17 09:13:06

Morning ladies thank you all so much for sharing your stories and thank you for the well wishes.

I went in for day surgery at 730am yesterday, was given 4 pessaries to insert just before 9 and was told I'd be seen about 10. Unfortunately 2x emergencies came in and I wasn't actually seen until 1515! Still, over now.

About 45mins after inserting the pessaries I was getting period-type pains and back ache. Was also desperate for a poo! hmm had some bleeding start then too.

By 12 they'd cancelled someone else's procedure (something unrelated to mine and minor) and I started getting panicky they were going cancel mine as no one could tell me when it would be happening. By this point I was so hungry and thirsty too!

I got upset with the nurse and told her I wanted to change my mind and have the meds or go home as I couldn't be there any longer. They got one of the surgeons to see me and reassured me it would be happening, even if it was later in the evening. They gave me a drip as I was starting to get dehydrated and I had codeine for the pain.

So yeah, eventually went in at 1515, back on ward at half 5. All fine, no issues whatsoever. Home by 6 as we only live down the road.

I went to bed with some codeine at 8 and feeling so much better this morning. Just some mild cramping and an overwhelming sense of relief that we can start moving on now.

Thank you again everyone smileflowers

OP’s posts: |
laurelstar Sat 29-Jul-17 10:38:12

Glad all went as well as can be expected Creme. Hope you get lots of rest this weekend

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