Miscarriage with first pregnancy - where to do further test

[Smoothieyummy]

Had an emergency scan 2 days ago to find out there's no heartbeat and just 1 week ago the baby's heart was pumping at 160+. Heart breaking and scared and confused. We are both in our late 20s, healthy and no historical medical issues.

I'm still going through the process of miscarriage now with bleeding etc. I haven't seen the GP yet as we have been abroad but I intend to do it ASAP. I understand that given this is our first loss, they will not offer us to do any further tests. However, we both really want to do tests to make sure that we give our next try the best chance possible, just in case there's anything wrong with our bodies etc that prevent the pregnancy growth.

Does anyone know where I can do these tests in London? Privately is not an issue we don't mind paying for it.

[MargaretCavendish]

I am so sorry for your loss. I understand why you'd want the tests but - and I know this might not be what you want to hear - I'd really urge caution. The thing is, more than half of women who go through these tests after three miscarriages - which means the odds are quite high that there is something more than bad luck going on with them - find that their test results show nothing. They are 'unexplained recurrent miscarriers'. The odds are very high that you've had sad, random bad luck: between one in four and one in five known pregnancies ends in a miscarriage, but only 5% of women have two miscarriages in a row (and only 1% have three in a row). There is an 80% chance that your next pregnancy will be fine. This means that the odds of the tests giving you answers are really low and - crucially - there's not much you can take from the results coming back clear (is everything ok, or are you in that 50+% where the cause isn't identifiable?). Nobody is going to be able to tell you that your next pregnancy will definitely be fine, sadly and unfortunately. I really thought about getting tested after my first miscarriage, but once I looked into it I decided against it for these reasons. You might decide differently and that is, of course, up to you (and as I said, I completely understand the urge) but I just wanted to explain a bit why the NHS wouldn't give you testing - it isn't (just) about money, it's also about how useful the tests are actually likely to be for you.

[JamesSpaderMadeMeDoIt]

Leeloy sending you hugs- I'm going through the same thing - happened to me last Friday. It's just devestating and my heart is broken and always will be. It's not something you can ever forget.

Ive cried, been in pain, thought what if? Realised that the wonderful joy of being pregnant will be in the future tinged with anxiety and doubt. I've been angry that that joy and excitement is now taken away from me. It's just so fucking unfair and my heart really does go out to you.

What I have realised over the past week from the wonderful mumsnetters is that these guys know their shit. This is a community who've been there and got the tiger stripes, so they are the best people to ask.

Stop googling, stop searching for answers, it just makes things worse.

Give it another go, put your energy into that rather than tests.

Above all be kind to your self - get to the GP and get some time off work. Regroup and look forward.

Good luck x

[daffo]

So sorry this happened, I too had similar in my first pregnancy and lost my LO at 10 weeks.

Although I know you want answers the most likely cause is just plain bad luck. Miscarriage early on is surprisingly common!We got pregnant again very quickly after we lost our first pregnancy and I now have my 10 week old daughter laying asleep on me.

Good luck if you do decide to have the tests, I wish you all the best for future pregnancies xx

[eurochick]

I'm sorry you are going through this. I agree with Margaret though. Miscarriage is sadly very common and most people who have one will go on to have a normal pregnancy afterwards. Tests will probably not show any cause and will undoubtedly cause more worry and stress.

I miscarried my first pregnancy. There were no tests even though it was an ivf pregnancy. I went on to have a live birth from my second ivf pregnancy. Unfortunately I could never relax and enjoy it though - I was always waiting for something to go wrong.

Good luck with ttc.

[Smoothieyummy]

Thank you all for your insight. I asked the doctor today the same question and she said the same, that don't waste your time.

I understand. It is just the grief of trying to come to term with what happened make me want to find answers :(.

[MargaretCavendish]

Of course it made you want to find answers - that's completely natural. It's so hard that those answers are so rarely there. hugs to you, and so sorry again for your loss. I'm glad you found it helpful - I was so worried when I posted my response that I'd upset you by making you feel like one loss 'doesn't count' or isn't important - I remember feeling like that every one kept telling me it was 'just bad luck' and it was really painful.

[Scrowy]

1st pregnancy miscarriages are extremely common, after mine I looked into it.

I'm also a farmer and we see it happening in younger animals too (mainly cows) there's a theory that it's natures way of having a practice run, but that doesn't make it any less heartbreaking.

I conceived again 3 months after my miscarriage and went on to have a successful pregnancy. There are really good pregnancy after miscarriage and trying to conceive after miscarriage boards on here which are really helpful and you will find many people sadly going through the same thing.

Focus on grieving and trying again (if that's what you want) rather than the tests. It's highly likely that there is nothing wrong and you will go on to have a successful pregnancy in the future.

In the meantime look after yourself

[MouseLove]

You are grieving. It's completely normal to feel like it's your fault and guilty for it happening and to not want it to happen again. But tests this early really would be a waste of your time and money. I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I had a mmc at 10 weeks in February.

Unfortunately 1 in 6 pregnancies end in miscarriage. Think about that stat for a moment. Recurrent miscarriages (3 or more) effect 1 in 100 women.