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Medical method not working

(13 Posts)
KatEtoria Sat 01-Jul-17 09:16:49

I hope someone can give me some advice I'm hitting such a low point I don't know what to do 😔
We found out at our 12 week scan last Friday that our baby didn't have a heartbeat. The nurse said that it was a missed miscarriage and the baby had died between 6-8 weeks but my body hadn't done what it needed and had kept on growing. We had a week of waiting before we could book in for the medical method and I went into hospital yesterday. I've had 2 lots of the pessaries and was in hospital for 8 hours but nothing was happening. Since coming home I've had a few cramps which have been more uncomfortable but I've not had any bleeding 😢I just don't know what to do now we want to be able to grieve properly for our baby but don't feel like we can until things have happened. Is it common for the medical method to not work? The hospital mentioned surgery as our only option now but that's the method we didn't want it sounds so invasive and I hate the idea of not knowing what's happening to my body while I'm asleep 😢😢 has this happened to anyone else?

Cantamendusername Sat 01-Jul-17 19:37:20

flowers I have no experience of medical management but I just wanted to say I'm so sorry you are going through this. I had natural management after it was discovered my baby had no heartbeat but that took three weeks. According to the paperwork they gave me it says that you may need more than one dose of medication before the miscarriage happens.

The cramps you've had may be the beginning and you may find they become worse. I had contraction pains which gradually became more painful and more frequent before I pushed out the sac.
I hope it happens for you soon, the waiting is awful x

Greaterthanthesumoftheparts Sat 01-Jul-17 19:47:05

I've had one successful medically managed (at 6 weeks) which was quick and not much worse than a period. I had another at 8 weeks which was awful. Pessaries gave me really bad diarrhea and extreme cramps but nothing more. DH drove me to the hospital after several hours of intense pain, a scan showed nothing was really happening. We decided to go for the surgical option because to be honest I just wanted t to be over and, like you, to be able to grieve for it. And also because they wouldn't keep me in hospital with no active treatment, and apparently pain relief doesn't count, I didn't want to risk being in agony in the middle of the night.
We're all different, only you can say what is best for you. Are you being rushed into a decision or do you have time to wait? Can you give yourself - time limit e.g. If it's not working in 12 hours you reconsider the surgery?

Greaterthanthesumoftheparts Sat 01-Jul-17 19:47:44

And flowers for you, it's shit and I'm really sorry you're going through it too.

KatEtoria Sat 01-Jul-17 21:13:29

Thank you for your kind words. I've been told to wait until Monday morning and if nothing's started they will take me down for surgery. I'm sorry that you've had to go through this pain as well it's the worst thing in the world 😔I've been trying to keep active to see if that helps but I'm just too drained to do much more. I hope there is a light at the end of the tunnel x

polkadotdelight Sat 01-Jul-17 21:16:45

In our NHS trust you are admitted for medical management and although it's a bit hazy now I think pessaries can be administered up to five or six times. I'm really sorry that you are going through this and wish you all the best - it's an awful time.

Shellybelly22 Sat 01-Jul-17 21:36:00

Hi, I'm sorry for you are going through right now.

I went through medical management for my miscarriage last weekend, you can read my post titled Traumatized by Miscarriage. After what I went through and if I were you, I would strongly consider the surgical route. I took my meds last Sunday and I am still laying in bed today, having been in so much pain and gone through so much trauma.

I completely understand how you are feeling right now and you want this to be over but the medical route is the most difficult, in my opinion.

Sending big hugs to you.

KatEtoria Sat 01-Jul-17 22:07:52

Shellybelly22 that is awful I've just read your post and I can't believe you've had to go through that 😔Sending hugs to you. I wish I'd chosen the surgical option now, being in this state of limbo is unbearable

Shellybelly22 Sat 01-Jul-17 22:50:13

When do you go back to the hospital Katetoria?

I think I have read that sometimes the meds do not work but hopefully if you can get the surgical option asap, then you can begin the healing process. You still have it as an option, so don't beat yourself up about your choice to go natural.

Your emotions are all over the place at the moment and for me it really didn't hit me straight away. Are you able to take time off work next week?

KoolKoala07 Sat 01-Jul-17 23:03:36

Im sorry you are going through this. flowers
I had an horrid time in April with a medical miscarriage. I was supposed to go into have treatment on a Monday at 10am, no bed until 7pm. Endured terrible pain all night with an unsuccessful outcome.
The Friday I had heavy bleeding and ended up back in hospital. Friday night they gave me a second medical miscarriage which again was unsuccessful.
Eventually a lovely doctor was able to sort me out by (sorry if too graphic) using very fine forceps to pull the sac out. No more trouble following that.
I felt a massive weight on my shoulders whilst all this was going on. I think it was the uncertainty I struggled with. I just wanted it over.

KatEtoria Sun 02-Jul-17 17:46:53

I've got an appointment at the hospital tomorrow in the morning to talk to the doctor about next steps. I passed a small clot earlier (sorry tmi) but had nothing since and no pains at all. Hopefully they will book me in for surgery

Greaterthanthesumoftheparts Mon 03-Jul-17 18:06:47

How are you doing Kat?

KatEtoria Mon 03-Jul-17 18:25:47

Today's been difficult 😢They've scheduled me for surgery on Thursday morning. Does this get any easier?

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