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My heart is breaking.

(7 Posts)
dudemeister76 Thu 29-Jun-17 15:02:27

Hi everyone, I'm new on here and I'm just so heartbroken after finding out my little baby's heart stopped at 7wks5days I'm ten weeks 4 days now. Went for a scan yesterday and got the shocking news. Im 40 years old with a 19 year old son from a previous relationship and have been with my husband for 10 years. The pregnancy was a complete surprise but very wanted. We are both in floods of tears all the time. I keep looking through these threads and its really the only comfort i have right now. I'm just waiting to pass my little one now so i can move on. I really want to try again but I'm petrified of this happening again.

OP’s posts: |
user1497802451 Thu 29-Jun-17 21:29:48

So sorry for your loss. The waiting is so awful. It will get easier. Just look after yourself and do whatever you need to do to get through the miscarriage.

I've found it helps to talk .it's so easy to feel like you can't tell people if you didn't tell them you were pregnant but you can't deal with all the emotion on your own. There's lots of support on here if you want to find someone going though the same thing.

Everincreasingirth Thu 29-Jun-17 21:47:36

I am so sorry that you are going through this. I also had a surprise pregnancy at age 41 which lost at 8 weeks ( scan showed had stopped growing at 7 weeks). It was an incredibly painful time waiting for the pregnancy to be passed. Though i have older children this was the first with my partner and his first. In the few weeks since finding out about the pregnancy we had become excited and attached to the baby. ... many ,many tears were shed. The actual miscarriage bit was hard and painful but felt relieved when it was over. ... It got better, and you will feel better too- it won't always feel so raw.... Two months later i fell pregnant again and now my nine week old son is asleep next to me. .. i still have the scan picture though of the one i lost taken at 6 weeks and there is a pebble from the beach which we picked up on the day we found out the pregnancy had ended next to my bed as i still feel that baby was part of us... again, i really am so sorry that this had happened. It isn't fair but just wanted you to know that no one can predict the future and things will feel better eventually x

MrsMozart Thu 29-Jun-17 21:55:52

Oh I am so sorry xxx

happenedagain2017 Fri 30-Jun-17 09:44:10

Dudemeister, I am so very sorry. I know how pregnancy loss feels and it's utterly heartbreaking. I want you to know that it doesn't always feel quite as raw as it does in the early days. To begin with I felt as though I was looking at the world through a very dark cloud. But it does lift, I promise. For now just putting one foot in front of the other is a big achievement. Sending you strength and best wishes, xx

dudemeister76 Fri 30-Jun-17 09:59:55

Thank you all for your replies, its so helpful to know that there are people out there who know how this feels even though its such a lonely experience. The emotional pain comes in horrible waves at the moment and its almost like the physical pain I'm getting is a welcome distraction if that makes sense? its a bit tough today as my DH has gone back to work (he's a chef so works ridiculous hours) and I'm alone feeling very weepy. My son is coming over with his little family to help distract me this weekend and to keep an eye on me too just incase i lose to much blood or have a seizure as I'm epileptic too.
Its lovely to hear there can be happy endings and after this isn't so raw i think we will get going TTC. We want to get something to remember our little one like a necklace as i would like to pay respect to what was already a very real thing to us both. As my son so beautifully put it 'my heart is heavy too Mum, i had already started to build memories in my mind' (how lovely is that) Anyway ill stop wittering on but the point i wanted to make was that I'm truly grateful for this site as its been a real comfort to me. Thanks again lovely ladies xx

OP’s posts: |
Biscuitsbaby Fri 30-Jun-17 12:00:05

Hi there

Firstly, I am so terribly sorry for your losses. I found myself welling up reading your posts.I just wanted to echoe the replies on this thread and let you know I feel the pain you are feeling too. It truly is the worst thing I've ever experienced and it really is a lonely place. However, reading posts on this site has made me feel less alone and that I'm not going crazy.
I went for my 13 wk scan on 5th June to be told baby's heart stopped a few days before. I had a D&C the following day and have to admit that first week was extremely traumatic. I too have waves of emotion that just hit you but the pain does get easier to bare. 3.5weeks on, I've not managed to go back to work, but there are fewer tears each day. I'm just slowly trying to build myself back up. It was my first pregnancy (unplanned but very excited of th prospect of being a mum). I hope to convince my other half TTC once I'm healed and ready.

I def think buying something to remember your baby is very comforting. The nurse at my EPU has been amazing and suggested I do this. My partner bought me a beautiful silver necklace with an acorn charm soon after it happened and I haven't taken it off since. As silly as it sounds I like to think my baby is close to my heart. I've also ordered a lovely wooden box online which is being hand made by a lady I found (only £22). Once it arrives I plan to keep the small things I have to keep safe and know that it's there. I have found this has helped me as I felt I needed to acknowledge my baby, although I know everyone is different, so you will find something that brings you comfort.

Again I am truly sorry for all that you have been through. People keep saying 'time is a healer' and I thought yeah yeah, but time does heal. Our babies will never be forgotten and always in our hearts. Take each day as it comes, is literally how I've been coping and that has been the best advice I've been given. If you feel like crying cry and if you feel happy, feel happy and not guilty about it.

I'm sending you all lots of hugs and hope that rainbow babies come your way soon.

Xx

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