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The waiting game...

(39 Posts)
PumbletonWakeshaft Wed 28-Jun-17 22:27:58

Had a scan at the EPU today, and trying to come to terms with the outcome. I was 8+1, but have been bleeding since Sunday. At the scan we could see there was an embryo but no heartbeat detected so we have to go back in a week. It's highly likely to be m/c and I am devastated but cannot know for certain so I'm a bit all over the place. How on earth do people cope with the waiting?

almosthome Thu 29-Jun-17 13:00:38

It's horrible isn't it. So sorry you're going through this. I was in the same situation last week, ending in mc on Sunday. I tried to work but gave up after a day and took the rest of the week off. There's not much you can do unfortunately but try to distract yourself as much as possible with films, reading etc. My other half worked from home a bit too which was reassuring, if you can have someone with you it stops your mind from wandering too far. Take care flowers

PumbletonWakeshaft Thu 29-Jun-17 21:21:44

Hi almosthome thank you for replying. I hope your m/c wasn't as bad as some of the ones I have read on here over the past 24 hours. I am watching lots of mindless telly but getting very bored now. DH has been really good in looking after DS and our pooch, sorting the house, and not letting me hide under the duvet too much. He is gutted too. We're both scared about what will happen next. Some people seem to just have a heavy period-type bleed, some people seem to bleed for months! Hope you make a swift recovery flowers

anxiouscrazycatlady Fri 30-Jun-17 16:11:36

So sorry to hear what you're going through PumbletonWakeshaft. I'm going through something similar and went through it back in February. In February they found the heartbeat was very slow and said it would stop soon and to go back in a week for another scan, which confirmed it had stopped. This time I had a bleed yesterday and my hormones are down, having to wait until Wednesday for a scan. I guess you have to wait as so many changes happen over a short period of time and they want to make sure before they do anything, still horrible for us though. Try and keep your mind as busy as possible, get into a boxset or read a book. Thinking of you

PumbletonWakeshaft Fri 30-Jun-17 22:52:48

anxiouscrazycatlady how frustrating for you, and what a rollercoaster you are on. Can't believe you are having to go through it twice. So brave.

Thank you for your kind thoughts. I have a work project to do this week which will be a good distraction. I've just been talking through the options with DH, if at all possible I want to avoid a natural miscarriage and opt for ERPC - I just think it would be too traumatic, and I am so scared of the pain and blood loss. Of course, I am aware it could happen by itself at any time. That's freaking me out a bit tbh.

anxiouscrazycatlady Sat 01-Jul-17 05:42:28

PumbletonWakeshaft what a horrible, stressful time but I would try and go for the ERPC too if I were you. When are you booked in for one? Obviously if it happens naturally then there's nothing that can be done and you will be able to deal with it. I think having an ERPC was the best choice for me as you're asleep while everything's going on, you're a bit sore when you wake up bit it's managable.
I think something might be happening now, woke up in agonising tummy pains so just waiting for the bleeding to start now sad

PumbletonWakeshaft Sat 01-Jul-17 10:07:47

Thanks anxious I would def prefer to be asleep I think. How is your pain now? What a horrible thing to wake up to. Really hope you have some support at home this morning. I have been bleeding for a week but just like a period with some cramping, nothing severe.

anxiouscrazycatlady Sat 01-Jul-17 11:26:06

The pain is better but still no bleeding. I woke up with hardly any morning sickness too which worries me as I've suffered really badly with it. It's the not knowing that's the worst. Luckily I have a supportive DH too and I'm just going to try and keep as busy as possible. Took the dog for a walk this morning and thinking about going to the cinema later, anything to distract me! What did the hospital say about your bleeding? And when are you next in?

PumbletonWakeshaft Sat 01-Jul-17 12:44:05

They didn't actually say anything about the bleeding, just that if it gets worse and if there's a lot of pain, to go to a&e. They said there's an embryo but they couldn't detect a heartbeat and they said it's pretty certain to be m/c. I'm booked back in next Thursday. They said my body might catch on in the meantime and start a natural m/c, but if not they'll discuss options with me on Thurs. I asked how long the wait is for ERPC and was told it depends on the list - could be anything from the same day to the following weds confused

I am keeping my fingers crossed for you. I did notice the other day that the bloated feeling I had in the first few weeks had gone, and my hair has been coming out for about 10 days - big clues for me I think, but it seems experiences are so different for everyone, so hope it's not a bad sign for you.

I'm working my way through everything on Iplayer I can find to distract myself! I'm on the sofa under a blanket as I am really struggling with fatigue.

Presh12345 Sat 01-Jul-17 13:08:51

Hey there, I had a MMC on 12 June at 9 weeks. I too decided I wanted to go naturally. I went home and read everything and then decided I couldn't do the whole bleeding thing and it would be horrendous for me, being an already highly anxious person!! I debated for grew days and was so torn. So I opted for the ERPC. It was brilliant (if I can even say that!). No pain at all after, no bleeding for first three days and then had very light period bleeding for a few days, then nothing. Still nothing. Have now got EWCM with brown streaks in it and am wondering if this is a mix of ovulation and cleaning out of last bits?!? Sorry TMI. Have read that when the cervix opens again, the brown bits could just be the last bits and it's brown because no oxygen had got to it.
Anyway, couldn't recommend the ERPC enough and have already told husband that if we are unfortunate enough to have another MMC then I will not hesitate and will just go for one. And apparently, it clears everything away and leaves you more fertile, like a clean slate to start again on! Hugs xx

Going4It Sat 01-Jul-17 17:32:33

Hey ladies
I had a mmc 5 weeks ago and had no pain and barely any bleeding but after 1 week of spotting I passed (tmi) what looks like a largish lump of veiny liver- clearly tissue rather than clots sad but honestly very little pain- just mild back ache.
Sending love and light to all xxx

anxiouscrazycatlady Sat 01-Jul-17 20:50:09

Presh I've never heard about it leaving you more fertile! I guess that makes sense, I managed to get pregnant this time in the first month of trying. It sounds like you're system is just clearing everything out, it took me about 5 weeks to start my period again so give it time.

Pumbleton I've got everything crossed for you too. It's horrible just not knowing and waiting. I had such a panic this evening and decided I want to book in for a private scan tomorrow. Everywhere was shut but I'm going to try and call a few places in the area when they open tomorrow. I know it's a lot of money but I just need to know really. It the worst does happen, I just want it over and done with as quickly as possible. Hopefully if that goes for you, you won't have to wait for long. I was lucky before and they booked me in for the next morning, it gave me a bit of time to prepare which was good.

Hope you're feeling ok after your experience Going4it

Sending love to you all xxx

PumbletonWakeshaft Sat 01-Jul-17 23:32:40

Thanks so much presh and going that's so reassuring from both of you. I'm trying very hard not to stress out unnecessarily with fear of the unknown.

anxious that's probably a good idea. Waiting from Sunday til Weds last week for answers was a killer. If I could turn time back to Sunday I would do that, or just take myself to a&e xx

anxiouscrazycatlady Sun 02-Jul-17 14:28:53

Wasn't able to get a private scan today so have just stayed at home and have been googling like crazy. I hate the not knowing sad

Going4It Sun 02-Jul-17 14:34:13

Despite my mcc 5 weeks ago I thought I was preg again all this week as I did a clear blue easy test! Big mistake! It came back positive and this fit with my dates of trying- but all other tests are negative. Clear blue easy are known for false positives!!! Thing is ive so many symptoms too....but all pink dye tests say no confused it's making me ill. Not sure I will try again. I've 3 lovely children and may just preserve my sanity and stick with that. May also see my GP tomo as something is off!
Sending you love and luck xxxx

anxiouscrazycatlady Sun 02-Jul-17 15:30:45

Oh no Going4it how upsetting for you. As soon you get pregnant you start planning away and when you realise it's not going to happen it's absolutely heartbreaking. Hope it goes well with your GP and you get some answers xxx

Presh12345 Sun 02-Jul-17 16:50:16

Pumble do you know what you are going to do-ERPC or natural? I was so anxious about the GA and cried the day before with the anaethestist! I'm also in a foreign country so have no family here except husband. Was so so scared. She told me in the theatre she was going to give me something to calm me as I was very upset. Then she asked how I was feeling and I said ok. I asked her to tell me before she put me out. She asked did I feel like I'd had a few g&t's and I said yes and next thing I was being woken up! She lied ๐Ÿ˜Š it was a very "pleasant" experience as far as it could have been!

PumbletonWakeshaft Mon 03-Jul-17 08:45:40

Presh ERPC if I get the option. I know having GA isn't great (I had GA with EMCS for DS) but I really don't want to pass the sac if I can avoid it. Your experience sounds like the most positive it could be in the circumstances. TBH it doesn't look like much is happening naturally. Bit sad this morning as it would have been my booking appointment sad

Presh12345 Mon 03-Jul-17 09:34:09

Yes my 12 weeks would have been tomorrow. ๐Ÿ˜“

Zoflorabore Mon 03-Jul-17 09:42:37

Hi op, sorry you're going through this.
Happened to me 7 years ago , I was 11 weeks and had bleeding so went to epu, no heartbeat and they said come back in a week, it was the worst week.

Nothing at all happened after the initial bleed, no pain.
Went back after the week and the doctor advised the medical invention was best so went ahead and had no complications.

We were so upset and really wanted to try again asap, doctor advised us to wait a month and then 6 weeks later I was pregnant again! Dd is almost 6 and a half.

Wishing you well flowers

miloandbelle30 Mon 03-Jul-17 10:19:51

Hi, this is first time I have ever blogged, so not really sure what I'm doing. I was told last week at my 12 week scan that I miscarried at 8 weeks and 3 days so I share your pain ladies. It literally turns your life upside down and brakes your heart doesn't it. My emotions have been all over the place. I agree that trying to distract yourself helps even though the motivation and interest in everything has gone. My husband has been my rock as he feels the same as me and can cry with me. we have kept each other surviving. I chose to have the d+c op but have had to wait till tomorrow for it. At the weekend I had extremely painful contractions but when I rang the hospital they just told me to take painkillers and wait till today for my second scan. Which I feel really let down by the NHS that they didn't have appropriate services to offer me anything else over the weekend. I've been terrified that the pains would come back. I hope I can have some closure after the op and we want to try again straight away, but terrified that I may miscarry again x

Zoflorabore Mon 03-Jul-17 11:31:25

Hi milo, welcome and sorry you're going through this pain, it's truly horrible.
Mumsnet is a brilliant source of advice and support, it has helped me enormously over the last 3 years with various things so please keep posting.

In my post above I told how I got pregnant 6 weeks after my op, I too was petrified for a while but it does ease after the 12 week scan.
It's very normal to check yourself constantly and expect something to go wrong but for me it didn't and I hope you are the same.
Many many women go on to have a normal healthy pregnancy after miscarriage.
Wishing you well for tomorrow, zoflo x

miloandbelle30 Mon 03-Jul-17 18:09:44

Thank you. Me and my husband keep looking at statistics about chances of having miscarriage a second time and think it's about time we stopped checking because different research h says different things. Suppose all we can do is be as healthy as possible in body and mind and be hopeful that we can have our rainbow baby x

anxiouscrazycatlady Mon 03-Jul-17 20:34:05

Try not to google too much miloandbelle30, I've been driving myself crazy doing that. Chances are, you won't miscarry next time. It's something like 1 in 4 pregnancies end if miscarriage which is so high, and you've experienced that now so hopefully it means you're less likely to next time. I hope it all goes ok for you tomorrow.

How are you getting on PumbletonWakeshaft?

I ended up paying for a private scan this evening and amazingly they found a heartbeat. I'm not going to get my hopes up too high though as this happened last time after a bleed, and the heartbeat started to slow down a week later. She also found a 6cm cyst on my left ovary which she thinks it's filled with blood so a new thing to worry about.

PumbletonWakeshaft Mon 03-Jul-17 22:15:43

Hi zoflora thank you so much for your positive story. It really is helping altho this feels like the longest week of my life.

milo thank you for sharing, it's heartbreaking isn't it. I'm glad you have support at home and hope you're taking it easy. I've driven myself round the bend reading hundreds of m/c threads on here.

anxious I'm pleased they found a heartbeat, iknow your worries are far from over but it is something to hold onto. Sorry about the cyst, you poor thing. Could that be the source of the bleed? That's a guess - I'm not medical! I am supposed to be marking exam papers but I am really struggling to focus on anything. I saw a double buggy when walking the dog this eve and my emotions hit me like a train. So sad sad

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