Surgical miscarriage, when will I feel normal?

[Biscuitsbaby]

Hi all, I've never posted on anything like this but feeling kind of lost at the moment. I went for my 13 wk scan on 05/06 to be told heartbeat stopped at 11.5 weeks. I broke down and was booked in for a surgical miscarriage the next day. I bled for a few days then stopped. At the w/end it came back and I passed a huge clot and have bled in and off since. Apart from the physical discomfort I have felt emotionally broken. I was advised to take a preg test which I did this morning and came back +. I'm assuming this is my hormones, but it just brought everything back. I still cry every day, though it gets less each day. I just desperately want my baby back and have read some stories online where women have waited months to ovulate again. Do your hormones have to go back to zero before ovulating? Should I contact my GP about the + pregnancy test? When can I try again and what is the likelihood this will happen again as I couldn't imagine going through it. Just wondering if anyone has been through anything similar and what I should be expecting with hormone levels and when will things go back to normal including emotions?

Thanks xx

[IntelligentPutty]

Hi

So sorry for your loss. No words can help. But it really does get easier with time.
I had the operation 4.5 weeks ago. But found out about possibility of mmc 1 week before.
I would say that honestly it took about 2-3 weeks for me to properly come to terms with it and feel like it's not the end of the world...
Still had pos test 2 weeks post op and was negative 5 days later.
Still waiting for period to start again. But I presume it will come.

I'm at point now where I can't look at stats or what happened to others. But maybe that's just me.

Hang in there. It will get easier.

[Natasha098]

Biscuitsbaby - I had surgical procedure on Monday after 12 week scan showed no heartbeat. I was told to expect my period to return in 6 weeks.. and after then I can think about ttc (though seems too overwhelming to think about right now) It feels very raw and I'm still in total disbelief about the whole thing but I'm hoping time is a healer. I've been told that there's no greater likelihood of miscarrying again if it's happened before. I would go and see your GP as they might be able to shed a bit more light re hormone levels. Best of luck x

[Biscuitsbaby]

Thank you for your kind words. Even though it's been 2 weeks since the op (and still bleeding) it still hits you each morning you wake up and when you go to bed. I think I will contact the GP about the positive test. I just don't think I have accepted it's happened to me. You hear of other people going through these things and think 'God how awful', but nothing prepares you for it happening to you.

I know that time is a healer but I feel guilty if I have a day where I don't cry. I've not managed to leave the house yet either and although I have amazing supportive family and partner I just don't feel like they truly understand. I was given details of a local charity to contact for support and might contact them next week if I'm still feeling down. I've just never needed anything like that before and feel ashamed that I'm not coping.

I'm also truly sorry for both of your losses. I know the pain you are both going through. Having read quite a lot (after googling like crazy for answers) it's reassuring to read some positive stories where women have come out the other side and gone on to have successful pregnancies. I wish you both the best of luck and hope you come out the other side too. I too have read that the chances of it happening again are quite low. When the time is right and the healing is over, fingers crossed, let's hope we are all granted with a special little person.

Xxx

[SeaPea15]

Hi all,

I am so sorry for what you're all going through/have been through. Life is so bloody unfair sometimes, but we're not alone in this (even though it often feels like it) because there are women everywhere going through this silently all the time. I'm sure there are people in all our lives who've had miscarriages without us even knowing, because they've gone on to have healthy pregnancies and just want to focus on that instead. A friend of mine about to have her first baby recently told me she'd had a couple of miscarriages before her successful pregnancy, but she'd never told me at the time. She just said she hadn't wanted to dwell on it or make it a 'thing'. Made me wonder how many other friends with children have been through it, but just never told anyone besides their partner.

I'm going through a miscarriage at the moment and, despite having worried about it because we all know the 1 in 5 stat, was completely unprepared for it happening to me. I never realised how lonely it would feel, how unhelpful certain medical professionals can be and how much pain and mess there is - and how long it can all take.

After a devastating scan, I was just sent home by the EPU and told to 'wait for things to start happening, but to call A&E if the blood loss is dramatic. Great. I wasn't offered medical or surgical management and now think I might prefer that - I just want the process to be over so I can come to terms with it and start moving on.

I suppose I don't really have anything to say beyond my sincerest condolences, and just that we're not alone and shouldn't let this make us think we won't have a healthy pregnancy and baby as soon as we're ready to start trying again. I do know at least 10 people (colleagues, friends, family) who've been open about miscarrying and have all gone on to have healthy babies.

As others have said, if there's no medical reason for the MC, it's likely to be completely random and no reason to think it will reoccur. If there is a reason, hopefully it can be treated.

FYI, I see an amazing private GP whenever I need a really kind and sensible take on things. Costs an arm and a leg so I rarely do make an appointment, but I did in this case and he was amazing. He said the MC was likely to be totally random, but did say he can check my progesterone levels (simple blood test) because there's a lot of evidence to suggest that giving women with low progesterone supplements before they next become pregnant, and I think during the first trimester, can prevent miscarriage (although obviously only if low progesterone levels are detected). It's quite a common reason for pregnancy loss, and there's something you can do about it, so might be worth asking your GPs to check your levels, for peace of mind if nothing else.

Much love and warm wishes to all. Xx

[Mv0707]

Hi @SeaPea15, I'm deeply sorry by your loss. I'm going through my second mc, the first one took me by surprise at 5 weeks but I never really thought I will hit this wall again at 9w. I'm devastated. I really struggle to cope with the "bad luck" thing and I'm really concerned about ttc a third time without any medical advise. I'm considering scheduling a private appointment given that the NHS won't yet consider me for referral (only after the third loss). I'm in London, i wonder where's your private GP. I feel that a professional can at least make me feel a little more confident for the next time, because we really dream to have our baby. I know it can be really expensive but this pain and anxiety is too much to handle.

Many thanks!

[SeaPea15]

Hi there, I'm so sorry to hear about your losses, it must be heartbreaking to be going through it a second time, especially when you probably tried to stay really positive when you found out you were pregnant again. If it's any consolation (I know it's probably not), I do know of a lot of people who've experienced two miscarriages and then had a healthy pregnancy - almost as if it took the body a third time to get it right. I have also read that it's still fairly common to have two miscarriages - indeed, that's why the medics won't investigate until you've been through 3 or more, as unfair as that feels. BUT, that all said, if you're anything like me, you won't want to wait and run the risk of having another miscarriage if there are any kind of problems that you could be doing something about now. So, I totally understand where you're coming from and that's why I've decided to just take a deep breath, get out my credit card and pay the big bucks for some professional private help. I'll PM you with more details now. Xxx