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Multiple miscarriages and feeling alone

(11 Posts)
PlayOnWurtz Sun 04-Jun-17 16:05:27

I'm still waiting on a period, still waiting on my test results and beyond low. My 3 oldest and closest friends plus my sister are all pregnant and due around my due date (within a couple of months) I now have no one I can talk to about anything, nevermind babies. I don't feel comfortable around anyone anymore, my mum and my husband keep telling me to buck my ideas up and get on with it and quit moping.

I'm not moping. I'm jealous, I'm angry, I'm furious at my body, I've had enough of waiting for it to be my turn everyone else gets everything they want when they want it and I feel like stamping my feet like a toddler and saying "It's not fair I want That!" I'm so low right now and literally have no one to talk to.

msfo Mon 05-Jun-17 00:52:10

Hi.

I know exactly how you feel, as I'm currently going through this. I can empathise. I'm also waiting on the return of my first period, after my miscarriage.

You can talk to me... I've been told to pull myself together and stop wallowing in sadness, too. I don't know how long it'll take me to get over it, or if another baby will numb the pain or the memory. I just hope our turn arrives sooner than later. smile

Starfairylights Mon 05-Jun-17 01:01:38

I'm so sorry

Starfairylights Mon 05-Jun-17 01:08:51

Posted to early..sorry that you are going through this. Time is a healer and although you will never get over the loss of your baby, you'll be able to get through the days easier. Allow yourself time to grieve. It's a good idea to speak to someone if you feel ready, take care of yourself and good luck for the future flowers

Juno2002 Mon 05-Jun-17 07:38:26

Really sorry to hear of your losses. I am also waiting for AF post-miscarriage. I have days where I'm fine and days where I swear everyone is announcing pregnancies and there are babies everywhere just to rub it in. You're not alone smile are you looking to TTC again soon?

Emmastone123 Mon 05-Jun-17 07:44:27

Hey

Please don't worry. Your time will come. I've just had what I think was a chemical. I'm not coping very well; felt really really really low. After seeing the positive tests, it was so hard. Was on holiday recently, and everyone seemed pregnant! They kept rubbing their bellies and I felt like slapping them. That's AWFUL isn't it. I mean I just hated them, I was sooo jealous. But then I realised, they might have been through what we've gone through.. multiple miscarriages, ivf, you never know...
Our time will come just try and be positive. Try yogo or acupuncture? I'm trying acupuncture this month. For relaxation and anxiety relief if anything.
Your time WILL come. Sending you flowers

Xx

BeyondHope Mon 05-Jun-17 14:50:13

I am sorry to read about your losses. I have been where you are. I had 4 miscarriages in a row, my worst one being 13 weeks. I was in a huge pit of despair and very angry. Everyone around me was getting pregnant and I just wanted to lock myself away and wallow.

Have you been to see anyone about your recurrent miscarriages? flowers

Jessicaivy12 Mon 05-Jun-17 19:08:04

I really feel for you. We've had 2 mc's so far and each time it seemed a huge mountain to climb to get back to reality!!
There is so much help out there!! As ridiculous as it might sound - it helped me most to start a diary and publish a blog. Getting all your feelings out there is a great way to vent!!!
One thing i didn't realise until i went through this myself is that there are so many other couples in our position - the jealousy is an awful one to overcome - I'm still not there yet but it's getting easier!!
I've only recently started blogging but thats helping!! You can read mine if you want inspiration to start?
Two girls at work found out they were pregnant the same week as i did (for the first one) and have recently had their babies! I cried sooo much!!
Give in to your emotions. It's acceptable not to be OK!! What you're going through is traumatic!!

PacificDogwod Mon 05-Jun-17 19:17:22

So sorry for your losses and that you feel so low and (understandably!) angry about it all thanks

Have you been offered any support/counselling or attending a Recurring Miscarriage Clinic?
I had great support from the hospital I attended which really helped getting though 4 MMCs and I was lucky enough to also have successful pregnancies.
There is good evidence now that 'supportive care' helps to bring better pregnancy outcomes.

Miscarriage/s is/are a shitty thing to live through.
No way to polish that particular turd and feeling angry, even irrationally so, is IMO entirely a logical response to something really unfair happening to you.
Look after yourself.
I hope you get good news from your investigations very soon and wish you very best of luck going forward.

PlayOnWurtz Mon 05-Jun-17 22:24:25

Thank you all for being so lovely. I've previously been seen by a rmc clinic and they said it was just one of those things as my bloods all came back fine. So when we lost this one and they offered genetic testing we took it, only I'm now petrified I've got ashermans off the back of the surgery.

I had counselling after my first but it didn't help. I ended up wanting to throttle the counsellor as she wasn't listening to me (I started saying random words mid sentence and got uhhuh in response).

I feel shit and empty

PacificDogwod Mon 05-Jun-17 22:32:14

Aw, consider trying another counsellor - it can be really helpful with the right person.

Of course you feel shit - it IS shit sad

Fwiw, we had genetic testing done in the end and a genetic problem was found with me which, as it turned out, had nothing to do with any of my losses confused. It was just dumb bad luck (and my age). We just kept on trying and eventually got there.
There is no possible compromise IMO - you either keep on going or you stop. Both can be heartbreaking but only one gives a chance of success.
Look after yourself thanks

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