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Does it get easier?

(11 Posts)
smallstepseveryday Mon 15-May-17 22:14:06

Had a miscarriage in January and although ttc since another AF has just arrived - just as another friend announced they're pregnant today.

Absolutely gutted really thought this month might be it for us.

Does it get any easier? I'm in pieces again tonight & floods of tears. I thought I was getting somewhere emotionally but feels like a step backwards maybe it's the hormones...

I've got to see the friends this weekend but don't know if I can face it.

DancingUnicorn Mon 15-May-17 22:21:15

Small I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending hugs. I don't know if it gets easier, I so hope so. I'm feeling so bleak tonight, which is for no reason other than I just desperately want my baby back. 😢

TheBiscuitStrikesBack Mon 15-May-17 22:25:25

It really does get easier, I promise.

Sadly it's now part of you though, and it's okay to be angry and sad. Natural grief process.

You'll get there. There is hope. Hold on.

smallstepseveryday Tue 16-May-17 22:43:17

Thanks Unicorn and Biscuit managed to keep busy today but welled up again in the middle of a meeting at work - had to do a strategic loo trip.

Hope you're ok Unicorn here if you want to chat.

Biscuit definitely wise words thank you.

ForeverHopeful21 Wed 17-May-17 09:35:52

I'm sorry to hear about your MC.
I think the raw emotions carry on for quite some time. Just as you feel like you're doing well, feeling positive and maybe even a hint of happiness .....bam something pushes you over the edge again and all those sad thoughts and memories come flooding back.

You will have awful days (especially when friends are making the announcement) and that's completely normal. Tomorrow is a new day and next week is a new week. Hope you're feeling a little brighter today.

Just know that you're not alone flowers xx

Randomposter Wed 17-May-17 09:41:51

I won't lie op, but 12 years on and I'm still heartbroken.
You never get over it, you just learn to live with it.
flowers xx

eastegg Thu 18-May-17 13:55:53

Hi OP, so sorry about your loss. As others have said you are not alone. I think about my MC, 20 months ago now, every day, and cry fairly frequently, but not now in the raw way I did earlier.

It helps to have some sort of focus. For many it is ttc , but if you can't, or if it's not happening, that is a whole other world of emptiness. I remember being on hols with my ILs last summer, a very difficult time of year as it was the anniversary for me, and thinking for 2 days that I was pg and then AF arriving. So shit.


PossibiliTea Thu 18-May-17 18:57:31

So sorry you are going through this flowers

Another pg announcement at work this week and it felt like my heart broke all over again. Can't even TTC yet waiting for another scan to see if I need another procedure sad

Enjoy the good days when they come and they will become more frequent. But know what you are feeling is normal and you are not alone xx

MrsMamaG2016 Mon 22-May-17 16:07:14

@smallstepseveryday hey Hun I do believe it gets easier it doesn't go away but it will get easier with time I lost my little boy George at 20 weeks in 2012 and it is hard but it will get easier.. 6 months ago I had another son and I sobbed my heart out for George when I held him for the first time happy tears and sad and I've struggled more now because I see what I've lost now I was 18 the first time and young and naive but now I'm 23.. but tbf I don't think i had let myself think that far in thinking about what I'd lost before but I've learnt that by having George I needed to sort me out I was in a awful place back then and all these years later I'm married and with a new child but it took ages for me to realise I had been so lucky to have George, and that he was my miracle and made me sort my life out ... but everyone is different in how they grieve and it does take other people longer but there is nothing wrong with that ... I hope your ok and I hope you come to find some peace with it all and to anyone else out there love to all of you xx

smallstepseveryday Mon 22-May-17 23:00:15

Thanks ladies so sorry to hear about your losses too. Last week wasn't great but this week is a fresh start and time to be positive and look ahead.

We are blessed to have a DS who is 2.5 so it's been wonderful drinking up his energy as it helps spur me on during the darker days. I wish I could give him a little playmate though. Hopefully one day that time will come.

Thank you all for your kind words.

@ForeverHopeful21 exactly that horrendous "bam" moment and everything comes flooding back - often without any notice. Such raw emotion is hard to explain to anyone else.

@Randomposter so sorry for your loss. I do believe you learn to live with it, some days are harder than others for everyone.

@eastegg yes ttc is definitely a focus but again that brings its own emotional rollercoaster. Sorry to hear about your difficult time around the anniversary. A sad & emotional time I'm sure.

@PossibiliTea thanks for your kind words. You take it easy and good luck with your procedure. Sending hugs x

@MrsMamaG2016 so sorry to hear about your little boy George. I can't comprehend what you went through at that difficult time. Thanks for sharing your story and big hugs to you and your little baby enjoy every moment.


MrsMamaG2016 Mon 22-May-17 23:19:21

@smallstepseveryday thank you I just hope you keep your chin up and stay strong ... treat each day as a new day, and just remember they are always with you even if you can't see them .... love to you and your family and I will pray for you all xx

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