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I've lost all hope

(10 Posts)
BeyondHope Sat 13-May-17 22:20:07

Hello ladies

I need somewhere to write this all down otherwise I am just going to cry forever. I have one DS who is 3 next month and he is the only thing keeping me going.

I had a 13 week miscarriage last August which I found incredibly tough to get through. My baby was fine and and healthy at the 12 week scan. I had an ERPC. I then went on to have 3 more miscarriages, all between 5 and 6 weeks.

My period was due on Tuesday and I took a test and got my 6th positive pregnancy test. I took another one today and the line was getting much darker. I have been to the toilet tonight and the bleeding has started. I haven't even made it to 5 weeks this time.

I feel so desperately sad. I don't understand how I can have had a healthy son conceived first go and now I am facing all this. I honestly can't stop crying and I feel like I'm at the end of all this. I can't keep going through this I think it will be the end of me.

I have been referred to Professor Quenby and have an appointment in 3 weeks time. I'm holding on to that referral like it's a life raft. That she is going to magically make me able to carry a baby again. But then reality hits and I know she may not be a miracle worker.

I'm sorry to write just a sad and depressing post. I just need to get it out and to see if anyone is/has gone through anything similar. I don't know where to turn and I'm just so sad. Thanks for reading.

DancingUnicorn Sat 13-May-17 22:28:37

I'm so, so sorry you are going through this. I'm only on mc one, so can't offer any advice, I just wanted you to know I am 'listening'. It's ok to cry, it's so shit. I really hope the referral finds some answers for you. 💐

Wombletor Sat 13-May-17 22:35:15

I'm so sorry for your losses.flowers To give you some hope, I had my 1st Dc followed by 6 MCs. All the recurrent MC tests were normal. Then in my next pregnancy I took steroids, clexane and cyclogest and went to term.
I hope you're appointment goes well and you have a plan going forward. Don't give up. Take care.

Happenedagain2017 Sun 14-May-17 07:08:31

I am so sorry beyond. I don't have experience of miscarriage but I do of (multiple) pregnancy loss. It is utterly devastating and often it can feel as though the world doesn't understand. Please don't give up hope, however terrible this feels now. And know that you are not alone.

Rainbowqueeen Sun 14-May-17 07:10:48

flowers
I hope you get some hope at your appointment. Will be thinking of you

BeyondHope Sun 14-May-17 11:13:09

Thanks for your kind messages and I'm so sorry for all of your losses.

wombletor were you given those drugs just as a matter of course if all of your tests came back as normal? I'm worried everything will come back normal and I'll be told it's just one of those things.

Wombletor Sun 14-May-17 11:57:49

Yes I was prescribed the treatment plan despite normal blood results. Lots of ladies have success taking 75mg of aspirin too.

BeyondHope Sun 14-May-17 12:38:32

Thanks Womletor. I've started taking aspirin for this pregnancy. Felt I needed to do something as I don't have a consultant to talk to. Bleeding seems to have eased off today so it's just a waiting game now.

GreyCloudsToday Sun 14-May-17 12:44:53

Hi BeyondHope, I'm so sorry for your losses. I've had 2 mcs and it's just utter sadness.

Have you had your thyroid levels checked? This can be a factor in recurrent losses.

I really hope that your appointment goes well xx

Iggi999 Sun 14-May-17 12:51:16

You can't give up hope before you've had tests and some kind of treatment plan. I had a dc, then 4 mcs, and then dc2 on steroids etc. There are loads and loads of stories like mine on here. Just keep getting through the days for now.
I also bled in first successful pg so it isn't a guarantee of mc. flowers

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