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Having a bad day

(6 Posts)
ForeverHopeful21 Fri 12-May-17 22:43:05

I've posted on here a lot over the last two months, apologies.

Today I'm having a bad day. It's been nine weeks since my MC. On the whole, I think I've been doing quite well. I still think about it every day but I'm past crying and life is (almost) back to normal.
I snapped at my dh earlier and we've fallen out. We were supposed to be going for a family dinner for my SIL birthday and I haven't gone. He went without me and all I've done is cry and feel sorry for myself.

Physically I'm not ok, so that's having a huge impact of my emotions which makes me angry because I feel like no one understands.

This sounds terrible so please don't be offended. I feel so jealous of those on here who have managed to get pregnant again after their MC. I see other users congratulating them but selfishly I just wish it was me.

I don't really know why I'm writing this. Just feel really upset and alone tonight x

DancingUnicorn Fri 12-May-17 23:06:28

Oh forever. You are writing this because it's such shit. It's horrible, and must be so hard to not have physically recovered from it yet (on top of the crap that it is emotionally!) I'm so sorry you are having a bad day. I'm 6 weeks out, and feel that finally things seem more normal, but the pain... emotionally the pain feels almost physical.

I so hope it is you soon. For me I don't see how I can ever get back to 'normal' until I am holding a baby in my arms.

Sending you all the hugs. Vent away. ❤️💐

TheSting Sat 13-May-17 00:15:56

I can completely empathise Forever, you're not alone. flowers

It's been 7 weeks since my MMC was discovered and in that time I've needed two ERPCs. Like you, I'm still not physically 100%- I'm exhausted and still bleeding.

I can empathise with the anger and loneliness too. I feel deeply hurt by my best friend who doesn't understand and whose callous reaction has shocked me.

At work, only a few people know about my mc and I feel like I'm living a lie. I think that the rest of the workforce are speculating about me being pregnant because of all time I've had off for follow-up scans and repeat surgery. I wish they knew the truth but I can't bring myself to tell them. I work with children and they're the only thing that's keeping me going at the moment.

I've become very antisocial and just want to hide myself away.

Tomorrow is another day Forever. Be kind to yourself, even if others aren't, and don't lose hope. X

harrietm87 Sat 13-May-17 07:17:44

Hi forever. I'm so so sorry. It's just so horrible isn't it. I'm 2.5 weeks on from mc no.3 and had a huge row with DH last night as I felt he wasn't sympathetic enough! All I can say is I hope and trust it will get better. Take care of yourself in the meantime.

ForeverHopeful21 Sat 13-May-17 08:49:54

Thank you so much for your responses. It means a lot to know that there are others who understand.
I feel a lot better this morning (you were right, tomorrow is another day). I haven't felt low like that in weeks but I think the argument with my dh brought all the emotions flooding back.

I've been on the conception forum over the last few weeks as we've decided to start trying again (even though I've been told not to as I'll be having surgery soon) but I actually don't feel like I belong on those threads; seeing the positive results made me sad for myself and I'm not sure that it's helping. AF arrived yesterday and I thought I was ok about it because we shouldn't be trying anyway, but it's still upsetting that my body doesn't seem to want / know how to make a baby.

I hope you're all managing well. Thank you for sharing your stories and the kindness, it really does help.
Got to get ready for work now. I'm a pregnancy massage therapist sad and have my first client in an hour. Oh joy! Have a good day ladies x

DancingUnicorn Sat 13-May-17 08:55:49

I'm sorry forever. It must be so hard being surrounded by pregnancy with work. I have a colleague who is pregnant and that's hard enough. I'm glad you are feeling better today.

Don't worry about not feeling ready for the conception boards. I can understand how hard it is. Maybe one day you may want to share that part of your story with others.

I hope you don't have to wait too long for surgery.

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