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Finding out other people are pregnant

(10 Posts)
Cocoabean25 Mon 24-Apr-17 22:43:14

Coming up for 4 months now since my miscarriage and I am handling it much better than I was. But today I found out someone I work with (who had a miscarriage a couple of weeks before me) is 16 weeks pregnant. It felt like a stab in the heart finding out. We used to be quite close but have drifted apart recently and so only just found out about the pregnancy. Why does it hurt so much finding out about this? All the tears and sadness have come rushing back again sad

ForeverHopeful21 Tue 25-Apr-17 08:57:15

Sending hugs.
I don't really have much advice, but I just wanted to tell you that it's normal for you to feel sad. It's a really crappy situation.
I feel the same every time someone I know announces their pregnancy.
I now see pregnancy and child birth as a miracle and it hurts when others finally get something so precious that you can only dream of right now. x

Cocoabean25 Tue 25-Apr-17 19:59:49

Thanks for your reply. I've not said anything to the woman who is pregnant because I don't think I could handle that right now. I know that sounds really selfish though. Pregnancy and childbirth is definitely a miracle. Feel like I've gone back to the raw feelings I had originally sad xx

Sweetyboo Wed 26-Apr-17 21:30:45

Hey i understand what you going thu coz im in same situation. I had my 3rd miscarriage in dec & by feb i find out that my both sisters are pregnant & other 2 already few months so 4 of them pregnant around me. It was SO HARD. Im very happy for them but that dont help still i feel horrible dont wanna see them dont wanna hear anything abut their pregnancy or shopping it just depress me.

Cocoabean25 Wed 26-Apr-17 22:22:29

Yes me too - I feel happy for everyone else but at the same I don't want to see them or hear about it. I know that sounds really horrible and bitter but the only way I was coping was to avoid anything that could send me over the edge again. Now I've gone back to being a crying wreck sad

amour1985 Wed 26-Apr-17 23:24:13

I feel exactly the same. I have 8 friends across 3 different groups who are having / have had babies since January and I can't even face going to see the newest baby! I feel like I grit my teeth typing a message to ask how things are 😬 I'm just at that point now though where I don't care if I don't ask or visit. I need to get my head straight and if they don't understand they aren't true friends xx

Thingymaboob Wed 26-Apr-17 23:33:05

I really understand. I hate it. So many people pregnant. My best friend is going to try again for #2 in a few months. She got accidentally pregnant first time. I feel very pressured to be pregnant before her as I'm not sure I could cope. Im sure she would also find it difficult to tell me. SIL pregnant as well as various friends. It's the worst. Had a mc in October 16 and am in my 3rd month ttc again

Itsjustaphase84 Wed 26-Apr-17 23:35:37

Cocoabean, I remember you putting your m/c on here a few months ago. Did you buy a mouse iirc?

I have a friend in exactly the same position as you and it all sounds a completely normal reaction. My friend hated feeling that way too when she found out her bf was pregnant. my heart truly feels for her,it must be so hard.

I'm truly believe you will come away from that edge and somehow will get slowly easier.
If that pg friend doesn't understand, they are not a true friend. I feel most decent women would. Sending you hugs. You will be OK x

PossibiliTea Thu 27-Apr-17 23:10:58

I know exactly what you mean I think it's normal to feel like this and we shouldn't feel guilty that it hurts.

I went with my friend today to the maternity triage in hospital and was surrounded by pregnant people... I miscarried 4 weeks ago.

People are either announcing their pregnancies, having babies or returning from maternity leave where I work, I am pleased for them but something still hurts.

Cocoabean25 Fri 28-Apr-17 22:14:12

Thanks for all your replies. It's just a phase - yes I did get the mouse toy, thank you for remembering smile It's been a very up and down long week. Still feeling a bit numb over the whole situation. I thought I was doing better then realised I'm still actually pretty fragile. I hope people understand why I need to be in my own bubble right now xxx

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