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Scanned 11wks baby died 9w1d

(18 Posts)
BlaBla80 Sat 22-Apr-17 07:29:05

I had a scan yesterday and found no hb and a very still fetus, in which the image will stay in my head forever. Saw the hb @ 8 weeks and all was good...

So I'm having no bleeding, a few niggily pains and still feel nauseous, I can't get my head around it.

My partners mum died Wednesday too so there's so much at the moment.

I've been offered either a D&C or to let things happen naturally? And my head is so clouded I don't know which to choose sad

snotato Sat 22-Apr-17 07:36:53

Oh OP,I am so sorry for your losses.I don't have much advise,but didn't want to read and run.you are in my thoughts and prayers.flowers

WannabeHippyChick Sat 22-Apr-17 07:40:00

flowers & a hug first of all.
I'm never very sure about advice at such a difficult time, it's still all so raw that probably you just need to grieve & be looked after.
However, having experienced both a d&c and letting it happen naturally (which took a week & I was on my own when it happened), I wonder if the d&c would be the least distressing option given that you're also dealing with another bereavement.
Please be gentle and patient with yourself & ask for help & support & give yourself lots & lots of time to recover. (Same for your dp too) You can both find the strength together to get through this.
Much love x

Wombletor Sat 22-Apr-17 07:40:42

Sending you hugs, I feel your pain, I've had the same experience.
I chose erpc. It was over quickly and painlessly. I would recommend it over letting things happen naturally.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Take care

Ledkr Sat 22-Apr-17 07:43:34

This exact thing happened to me. I was in pain tho so opted for the operation. It's such a shock and heartbreaking too. I allowed myself to grieve, didn't try to be brave and brush it off. It's just time you need now.
Have you a friend who's been through similar that you can talk to? Your dh is obviously still dealing with his mums death so maybe has enough on his plate.
You will feel better soon but in the meantime in really sorry.
How do you think you want to manage it?

CoffeeAndCakeEssentials Sat 22-Apr-17 08:01:55

Similar story here. I went for a 12 week scan to be told baby had died at 5w. I felt sick, tired, all the usual early pregnancy symptoms so I was devastated. Given my body hasn't dealt with the miscarriage naturally in the last 7 weeks I opted for a D&C. It was a day of waiting as it was a non-emergency procedure in our hospital but definitely the right choice for me.
I'm so sorry for your loss flowers I hope you've got support around you now.

KoolKoala07 Sat 22-Apr-17 08:07:24

Aww op it's awful. flowers We went for our 12 week scan on Tuesday and development had stopped around 6 weeks ago. I'm having a medically managed miscarriage. First pill this morning and then second stage on Monday. I'm dreading Monday. Personally I didn't want things to happen naturally as the sac is still growing and my tummy is getting bigger and they said it could take another 4 weeks for things to happen. Take your time to decide and do what feels right.

MelbourneClown03 Sat 22-Apr-17 08:18:14

Didn't want to read and run. A similar thing happened to me at the end of last year. I opted to 'let nature take its course' but ended up in hospital anyway as I meant in to a sort of labour and the pain was so bad.

I think now that maybe I should have opted for surgery. I'm sorry that you're going through this. It's horrible and on top of the other bereavement.

thuslyitwas Sat 22-Apr-17 08:21:20

I'm so sorry for your loss. This also happened to me. It's so cruel. Sounds like you have had a lot going on. I opted for the d-&c as my body hadn't recognised the miscarriage for four weeks. Be kind to yourself and be aware that the emotional impact may be yet to come. I'm still seeing a counsellor after suffering ptsd from my missed miscarriage. Wishing you great strength for the coming days and weeks. Xx

FourForYouGlenCoco Sat 22-Apr-17 10:51:45

Oh OP I'm sorry. It happened to me to (also saw the hb at 8w - feels doubly cruel, somehow). I opted for the D&C too and have never regretted it. I had a second missed miscarriage a few years later which started off naturally and ended in a haemorrhage and an emergency D&C, and was almost glad I had to have the surgery (would have been a 2+ week wait otherwise) so I could get it over with.
It's such a shit, crap thing. The club no one wants to be in. But even though it doesn't feel like it, things do get better. For a while I couldn't imagine ever feeling truly happy again - every time I smiled it felt all wrong and broken. It took a fair old time, but I'm years on now and it doesn't hurt any more. flowers for you x

BlaBla80 Sat 22-Apr-17 11:08:35

Thank you all so much for the supportive words and sharing your own heartbreaking experiences sad

I was leaning more towards the D&C but my head is pretty clouded, my partner isn't and can't be too supportive due to his plate being full with his mums death and I don't want to lay this too heavy on him, I'm living in Australia (from the UK originally) been here a few years so no family support either but I of course need to get through this.

It would have been my 3rd child and my partners first.

I just feel like I'm floating around today, I still feel pregnant which is driving me a bit crazy.

Thanks for listening/reading smile

Stuckinstressville Sat 22-Apr-17 11:32:11

I chose erpc both times as although I waited two and then three weeks things were not going anywhere and my placenta kept growing despite no hope. Sitting here the day after my
Last erpc having my hair coloured. You recover quickly sometimes.

TheSting Sat 22-Apr-17 13:13:34

BlaBla80 l'm so sorry for your loss.

I went for surgical management (ERPC) as my body was showing little sign of MC naturally. I was so worried about the procedure and about having my first general anaesthetic but I had a very positive experience.

All the NHS HCP I met were so kind and sensitive and all ensured that I was made as comfortable as possible. I was incredibly well looked after. I took it easy for a week after the surgery but was physically well enough to get out and about soon after. Emotionally it has been tougher but that's because of the loss not the surgery.

Look after yourself flowers.

QuizTeamaAguilera Sat 22-Apr-17 14:22:59

BlaBla80 I'm so sorry to hear that happened to you.

My second baby died at 9w 1d too. I'd had no symptoms, although in hindsight my nausea had eased and I wasn't as tired - I was scanned at almost 12 weeks after a very light bleed. I went for the medical management (tablets), the first lot didn't work so I stayed in hospital overnight and took a second dose the next day, which did. I felt more in control and am a bit scared of anaesthetics, so felt this was right for me.

Be kind to yourself flowers

DancingUnicorn Sat 22-Apr-17 15:08:56

Blabla I'm so sorry for your loss. It's devastating, and must be so difficult with your other loss and your partner dealing with that.

I took a weekend to decide on my treatment, and also opted for surgical management. I just couldn't bear to be pregnant any more knowing it wouldn't end with a baby. It seemed to me like it would be the least painful option having read the information, and would allow me to get back to 'normal' (physically at least) as quickly as possible. 3 weeks on and I'm physically well, but emotionally very up and down.

Thinking of you. There are lots of supportive, amazing people who unfortunately find themselves on these boards, if you find yourself in need of a rant or a distant and metaphorical hand hold. 💐

BlaBla80 Mon 24-Apr-17 12:51:24

Should I still be feeling so sick? Nausea is still so strong, no sign of anything happening naturally - tried to use a referral from my gp to get a D&C but then was told I may have up to a 4 week wait IF I'm category 1 confusedso a nurse said to go to A&E which I haven't yet, like surely there should be a protocol to follow here? Good old Queensland.

DancingUnicorn Mon 24-Apr-17 20:40:25

I'm so sorry blabla that they are not able to offer it sooner. Unfortunately, I don't know if there's much you can do to get the symptoms to end. Thinking of you.

Ledkr Tue 25-Apr-17 09:12:35

Maybe you need a second opinion?

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