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Last chance gone

(7 Posts)
Dee333 Sun 09-Apr-17 23:25:24

I don't really know why I'm posting but thought maybe it might help to get my thoughts out!

I found out I've had a missed miscarriage on Tuesday, I went for a private scan as I hadn't been feeling sick for a couple of weeks so had a feeling something may be wrong. I was only 8 weeks but had a previous private scan at 6 weeks and had been told everything seemed ok and there was a heartbeat then. Anyway at the scan on Tuesday they told me the heartbeat had gone and it hadn't progressed from about 6-7 weeks. I went to the hospital the next day as the midwife said it needed to be confirmed and they confirmed it. I've not bled and they have given me options of how I would like to proceed with the management of the miscarriage.

I think the reason I'm posting here is because I feel so devastated and alone. It's been a tough few months as I was made redundant, broke up with my partner just before finding out (although he has been brilliant) and am due to start a new job after Easter, although getting a new job was good news it just added to the stress of how I was going to tell them I was pregnant, no need to now obviously. I was on 80mg of anti depressants before I was pregnant but the doctor told me to come straight off of them. I am going to try and stay off of them now but don't know if that's a good idea?!

I'm 44 and this was my first pregnancy, I feel it was my last chance especially as we've split up now. I have lots of friends that have been sympathetic in the first couple of days but have felt so alone today, it doesn't help looking at Facebook and seeing how happy everyone is out with their little families in the sunshine. Sorry I know that sounds really bitter!

Just can't stop crying and thinking why me, I know it was early days but that doesn't seem to make me feel any better.

Sorry for the long post, I just don't know what to do with myself

MrsBobtonTrent Sun 09-Apr-17 23:35:34

Didn't want to read and run. Try not to think about final chances and long term things. Because you really don't know for sure.

Find a RL friend to see the midwife with and sort out MM options. Take some time to process it all and recover.

Make a GP appointment to talk about your anti-depressants - consider going back in them to help you over this hump?

Be kind to yourself.

Dee333 Sun 09-Apr-17 23:46:04

Thank you for your kind words Mrs, I have another appointment on Weds, they want to rescan, not sure why as surely 2 scans with the same result would be enough...

Thank you

MrsBobtonTrent Sun 09-Apr-17 23:57:30

Do you have someone to go with you? A friend or your ex (if he is helpful/supportive)? I find these sorts of a things a bit bewildering and hard to take in, so a useful friend is good to keep me on track and ask questions.

Don't discount the effects of stopping your meds and/or pregnancy hormones on your current mental state and feelings. Not wanting to trivialise your feelings, because it's not a nice situation and it all seems to be happening at once. But focus on the next appointment and build your support squad.

Hopefully someone that knows about MCs will come along.

Dee333 Mon 10-Apr-17 00:18:30

Yes will definitely take a friend or Ex with me as you're right sometimes emotions take over and I'll need somewhere there who can listen to all the facts for me.

Regarding the meds, I might leave it for a little while until the shock and hormones subside and see how I'm feeling then and whether I need to go back on them. I'd been on them for years so could probably do with at least bringing the dose down as I think I could cope with that.

Thanks again Mrs

Phoebefromfriends Tue 11-Apr-17 06:29:57

Really hope the scan isn't too traumatic. Life can be so cruel at times, be gentle with yourself and make sure you take a friend with you. Could you plan anything nice to do in a few weeks so you have something to look forward to? flowers

MsJuniper Tue 11-Apr-17 08:17:53

I'm so sorry for your loss. What a devastating thing to happen.

I have had several mc and would recommend the erpc if you don't pass naturally before the scan.

Take good care of yourself and give yourself time to recover if you can.

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