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Terrible Hospital Experience

(33 Posts)
ForeverHopeful21 Mon 03-Apr-17 12:08:39

At 12 weeks pregnant (1st pregnancy) I ended up in A&E after being referred by my GP for an emergency scan. The A&E at my local hospital is tiny and there were only 2 other people waiting. Within 10 minutes I had observations taken & felt relieved that I was so quickly being looked after. But the medic called the ultrasound department and very loudly said "well she looks fine to me" - this really shocked me as I was extremely worried and anxious ....and convinced that I was losing my baby.

Skip 3 hours and lot of gushing blood later, and I was still being ignored. I was now having panic attacks, crying, hyperventilating and just so upset that no one was helping or telling me anything. It took my husband (who is the most laid back and calm person I know) to furiously demand for us to be moved to a private room.

When the doctor finally walked in, he said "So you're twelve weeks pregnant, congratulations"!! angry . He tried to do an examination 3 times but couldn't due to the amount of constant gushing blood & clots. The light in the room was broke so he had to send someone off to find a pen torch and he mentioned that the apparatus to do the examination was old and broken. The whole thing was a fiasco!
He admitted he needed someone more experienced and said that the gynaecologist was on her way to examine me. In the hour that it took for her to arrive I passed the baby.

The examination was excruciating. I must have been tensing due to the pain and she was shouting at me to relax, she was getting very frustrated and started screaming "I'm small and have small fingers so you're lucky", "I have the smallest fingers in the hospital, this shouldn't be hurting". I was hysterical and felt so embarrassed. She eventually gave me gas and air. Once it was over, she said "I removed a lot of product that was stuck in your cervix. You've had a miscarriage" and then she turned around and walked out.

I had to spend the night due the amount of blood I'd lost. In the night I started shaking uncontrollably and was put on antibiotics for an infection. A few hours later I was in agony and asked for painkillers. It was 1.5 hours before I received them and the nurse apologised and mentioned they were understaffed. Asking to go to the toilet was received with huffing and puffing from staff. I felt as though I was a massive inconvenience.

In the morning a porter arrived with a wheelchair and said that I was going for a scan. I was shocked as I was still naked with my blood soaked gown on. As it wasn't visiting hours, I went for my first every ultrasound all alone. I was wheeled into a tiny waiting room in the antenatal department, full of happy couples! It was the most awkward and upsetting moment of my whole life. Sounds vain to say this but having that gown on and having dried blood down my legs, greasy hair, smelling of sweat - just made the whole thing 100 times worse for me. It was humiliating. During the scan they found a cyst. I wasn't given any information about the miscarriage, about the cyst, what I should expect going forward. Nothing.

When the doctor did the ward rounds, she said "you've had a miscarriage which is very common, you have a cyst, you need an iron test done in 4 weeks and another scan done in 8 weeks, don't try for another baby until after the scan" then she left.
I received my discharge notes in the post a few days ago and next to aftercare and follow up appointments, it says "no". I called my GP and they have nothing saying that I need an iron test or another scan angry.

I feel as though the hospital experience made my miscarriage 1000 times worse. I have no faith in the NHS and the thought of ever stepping foot in a hospital again fills me with dread.

thethoughtfox Mon 03-Apr-17 13:25:12

I don't know what to say. This sounds horrific. flowers

CMOTDibbler Mon 03-Apr-17 13:31:12

I'd def make a formal complaint about what happened - especially if you were made to wait in the antenatal waiting room for the scan. When I found out at my 12 week scan that I'd had a missed miscarriage we were treated badly, and I complained - it didn't change anything for me, but I know that they did change some things afterwards.

I'm so sorry that you've been through all this. Poor care makes a crap time even worse

Boofeckinghoo Mon 03-Apr-17 13:40:21

So sorry for your loss. You poor, poor thing. That sounds like an utterly awful experience. flowers
I know the NHS is struggling but the lack of compassion for you at any point in this series of upsetting events is shocking.

If you feel up to it, I think you need to write everything down. Get your evidence. You have every right to complain. Appalling.

Flowerybox Mon 03-Apr-17 13:41:41

I don't have any advice. I just wanted to say I'm really sorry you had to go through this flowers

ems137 Mon 03-Apr-17 13:46:42

I'm so sorry for your loss. How you were treated clearly made it so much more traumatic than it already is anyway.

I would contact PALS and take it from there. I had a problematic 1st labour and contacted PALS who I found to be good.

Loz90333 Mon 03-Apr-17 13:52:03

@Foreverhopeful21 What you went through is horrific, I'm so sorry!

Out of curiosity was this East Surrey Hospital? I've unfortunately had to deal with them a couple of times over the last year and they have been nothing but shit every time!

Gynaecology there is the worst!!!

ForeverHopeful21 Mon 03-Apr-17 16:50:07

Thank you all so much. Your responses mean absolutely everything to me.
You've all reassured me that I'm not over-reacting.
I wrote a review on the NHS website and someone emailed me from the hospital asking me to phone them but I don't feel strong enough to speak out loud yet. I still feel traumatised.

@Loz90333 No, I'm in Cheshire. Sounds like there are many bad Gynae depts around the UK which is so disheartening. xx

Littleraincloud Mon 03-Apr-17 17:10:20

Your treatment was horrible, I lost a baby a little later than you and although they weren't fantastic in terms of information they were compassionate. I was terrified of the internal scan and the fear increased the pain to the point it was harder to to bear than full term labour. Try and be kind to yourself and take iron anyway.

willothewisp17 Mon 03-Apr-17 17:17:09

😞 so sorry for your loss, sounds like an absolutely terrible experience and the people who were supposed to be looking after you failed in every way possible.

sending love 💖

PlayOnWurtz Mon 03-Apr-17 23:56:06

So sorry for your loss.

When you feel stronger write to PALS and copy your MP in as baby loss is high on the agenda at the moment and various cross party stuff has been set up to get research and better treatment for mothers. No woman should have to go through what you have. Rest up and take care flowers

perfectpanda Tue 04-Apr-17 00:06:03

So sorry to read about your experience. I also had a terrible experience miscarrying in A and E. No compassion or care. I didn't ever complain at the time as it felt too much for me to deal with. But I now find myself pregnant again 4 years later (somewhat unexpected). I discussed the awful miscarrying experience for the first time when I was booked in and I'm getting much more care and support this time around on the back of it. It was helpful to tell a health professional how bad it had been. So I hope in the future you do get the strength and chance to talk this through with a compassionate person. I still feel shocked about how some of the doctors spoke to me, it sounded very similar.

cookiefiend Tue 04-Apr-17 00:16:20

I have no advice, but I am so sorry. You were treated terribly. I understand (no knowledge) that there isn't much staff can "do" in the case of an early loss, but a bit of common sense would suggest that compassion and support would help.

Please do complain. If you have a nice gp perhaps mention it to them. I know after a traumatic birth you can get a debrief. I wonder if you would be entitled to that to raise your concerns.
flowers

notafish Tue 04-Apr-17 01:02:18

So sorry to hear of your experience. flowers I had a bad experience of miscarrying overnight in hospital and being treated badly by gynae staff. It was over 10 years ago and still plays on my mind. I wish I'd complained.

ZiggyForever Tue 04-Apr-17 01:19:04

This is horrendous, OP. I'm so sorry that you had to go through that flowers

Greystars Tue 04-Apr-17 01:29:38

I'm so sorry you went through this flowers

Please speak to your GP or one you feel comfortable with at your surgery and when you are ready make a complaint to PALS

your treatment was cruel, nobody should be treated like this.

In the meantime,

www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/support/how-we-can-help/

These people can be very helpful, you have to sign up, I would also suggest googling support in your area, if you have an EPU (google your local hospital and area) they may be able to advise you of some support you can access.

It can get pretty lonely and I know his helped me, I also know it is not for everybody

I'm so sorry you experienced this x flowers please just try to be very kind to yourself and allow yourself time to heal

Taytotots Tue 04-Apr-17 01:31:23

Sorry for your loss flowers. That is really shocking treatment. If you feel up to it later definitely put a complaint in via the patient liaison service (pals). Like dibbler i had really bad treatment at my 12 week scan when i found out i had a missed MC (basically sent away with no info and told to come back in 2 weeks). The hospital took the complaint very seriously and managed to address a few issues with their procedure, helped me feel that something positive had come out of it. The early pregnancy unit where i actually went when miscarrying were great though - so different to your experience. In hindsight I maybe should have gone to talk to a counsellor as i still cry at anyone who asks about this bit of my medical history (i have traumatised/educated a few medical students!) - maybe look into that if you think it would help?. The miscarriage association has lots of resources on their site.

SpookyPotato Tue 04-Apr-17 07:10:16

I'm very easygoing and never complain, but your experience sounds horrific and I would have to say something. You are not overreacting at all. I don't understand how some HCPs are in this job, making women feel terrible in these viunerable statea. I just really don't get it. I had a lovely experience with hospitals over my whole pregnancy, everyone was so caring despite being understaffed and very busy. Understaffed is no excuse.

PossibiliTea Tue 04-Apr-17 19:59:37

I'm so so sorry to hear that it just sounds absolutely awful you should to have had to go through that. I'm Cheshire too and haven't had the best experience with my miscarriage to be honest, not that that's at all helpful, I'm just so sorry I would definitely take that further.

user1489226029 Tue 04-Apr-17 20:20:10

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm horrified and disgusted with the way you were treated. All I can say is please put in an official complaint when you feel strong enough. I've had a bad experience in hospital and I didn't complain (wish I had) and my experience was no where near as bad as yours. I hope you have people around you supporting you. Reading this made me so angry HCP should not be treating people this way.flowers

ForeverHopeful21 Tue 04-Apr-17 21:57:03

Thank you so much to every single one of you. Your kind words give me strength.
My husband contacted the hospital today and asked to make a formal complaint. He's a very calm person so probably better that he speaks on my behalf as I feel that my emotions would get the better of me. Although the damage has been done, I do feel like making the complaint will help me move forward, and I like to think that we may prevent another woman from going through some of the things that I went through. Lets hope! x

Lunde Tue 04-Apr-17 22:08:59

So sorry you have gone through this. I think you should definitely make a complaint. I reminded me a lot of my experience having a miscarriage in 1990.

Out of curiosity was this East Surrey Hospital? I've unfortunately had to deal with them a couple of times over the last year and they have been nothing but shit every time!
Ah so they have not improved at all since my 12 week miscarriage in 1990 - very unfeeling/very patronising
- although admitted to a ward at 6am was made to wait for the happy couples antenatal clinic at 12
- patronising scan technician said I was "just a young girl" (29) and there was plenty of time to have babies
- needed surgery and was put on ward with elective terminations
- post-op infection plus unexplained facial bruising after GE

QueSera Tue 04-Apr-17 22:16:27

This is an absolute horror story. OP my heart goes out to you, you've received horrific treatment beyond all imagination. How can all those medical professionals be so cold and horrendously unprofessional. Unfortunately you and your dp will need to find your own way through this together. Please keep talking to each other; traumatic events like this need honest open supportive conversations and communication.

Sadly i and a few friends have received similarly horrific treatment at nhs gps, clinics and hospitals. These friends and i all agree that if we ever got pregnant again we would definitely go back to our home country rather than face the system here again. It might not be any better, but it would struggle (as a similar level country) to be any worse.

Good luck with your complaint (i was too traumatised to submit one in time, much to my regret). And please try to put the behaviour of these cruel and unprofessional people behind you, you should have been treated so so so much better X

SteppingOnToes Tue 04-Apr-17 22:22:14

Firstly I am so sorry for your loss and that you had to go through this x

Please complain to PALS. I had a miscarriage and had to have a medical evac - I was lay on the bed waiting for the anaesthetist to come and put me under looking at happy photos of babies delivered all over the walls. Like you - it was the most horrific experience I have been through. I complained and they have a bay now for ladies who have had a miscarriage so they don't have to be in the 'happy' area.

AnnaL82 Tue 04-Apr-17 22:27:03

OMG.
so sorry for you.

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