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TFMR - experiences of medical procedure at 16-17 weeks? And how to remember my baby?

(3 Posts)
batfish Mon 03-Apr-17 09:53:58

Hi all

I am 16 weeks pregnant and after a few weeks of tests we have found out that our baby has Down syndrome. It has been the hardest and most heartbreaking decision of our lives but we have decided to terminate the pregnancy.

I have been offered a medical or surgical procedure and think I have decided to go for medical.

Would anyone be able to share their experiences of medical management at around this stage of pregnancy? I will be around 17 weeks when it happens. I would really like to know the good, the bad and the ugly as want to be as mentally prepared as possible so please don't hold back. Feel free to private message me if you are worried about upsetting anyone by posting details publicly. I will be in a hospital as was told by BCAS that they cannot treat me as I have a medical condition (have had a thyroidectomy). Did you choose to see your baby afterwards and are you happy with that decision? If you have a partner how did they deal with it? Were you on your own (i.e. without nurse/midwife) when it happened?

Another thing I am wondering is about how to remember our baby. I am not sure if I want to name him, not sure why but think I just can't face choosing one. What options does the hospital offer in terms of how to deal with the foetus? I feel I might like to do something ourselves rather than ask the hospital to take the remains but I don't know what is available.

I don't live in the UK (am British) and am travelling there later in the week so haven't had much support/information - I am guessing that I would know more if had been through the process so far in the UK.

Thank you so much in advance for any advice/information and to anyone that is able to respond I am sorry for your loss.

Downbutnotyetout Mon 03-Apr-17 21:41:00

I went through the exact same thing last October at 14 weeks. I am so so sorry that you are in this position. Please feel free to PM me with any questions you have, but otherwise I found this organisation a fantastic source of support www.arc-uk.org

You will get through this, sending you much love.

pukekos Tue 04-Apr-17 04:59:54

I had a medical induction at just over 16 weeks for same reason in November. Have PM'd you.

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