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MMC still waiting please advise me

(28 Posts)
Misssmoo Sat 01-Apr-17 00:05:17

Found out on Tuesday when I should of been 12+2 my baby had stopped growing at 8 weeks ..had scan due to a small bleeds on Monday. .bleeding on and off now but still nothing and it's driving me insane mentally just want it over ..booked in for d and c but really wanted to try and have it naturally any advice please xx

SmokyMountains Sat 01-Apr-17 00:16:50

I'm so sorry for your loss flowers

I have had one occasion where I miscarried at home whilst waiting for surgery, and also had another one where I bled a little bit each day on and off but didn't miscarry before the surgery.

There didn't seem to be any way of predicting when it would happen....when is your surgical management scheduled for. Do you have long to wait??

Misssmoo Sat 01-Apr-17 00:20:15

Thanks for reply ...scheduled for Sunday but I'm abso terrified ..my life feels like it's on hold not sure what to expect xx

SmokyMountains Sat 01-Apr-17 00:35:38

Oh you poor thing. Its such a horrible shock, isn't it? Have you got someone who can be with you tonight and tomorrow?

If it does happen naturally, I found that the bleeding got heavier, over a few hours and it also got quite painful. It lasted a couple of hours and then the bleeding and pain started to subside again and I could tell it was all over, if you see what I mean, although I did bleed like a period for a week or so after that. I also felt quite physically sick, which might have been the shock.

If you haven't already, I'd get hold of some really good heavy nighttime pads (better absorbancy than daytime ones) and some painkillers plus a hot water bottle in case it helps. I was told not to use tampons or have a bath in case of infection, but I did have a hot bath a few hours later as I felt I really needed it. And a good box set so I could lie on the sofa and try and distract myself a bit.

As for the surgery...I was very, very scared, more of having a general anaesthetic than the actual procedure, i think, but as soon as I came round after the surgery I felt very relieved it was all over, and I had a slight crampy pain that day and bled slightly for 3 or 4 days but nothing like as heavy as a period.

I was quite weepy and vulnerable afterwards, and had to try and remember to be gentle with myself.

(I was advised to take a pregnancy test 2 weeks later just to check it was negative.)

Misssmoo Sat 01-Apr-17 08:49:52

Had a few clots through the night but stopped again...my DH has to travel to back to work Sunday and that's why I'm really worried about having a GA in don't like hpsital at best of time. ..I feel really sick this morning I'm hoping this is it xx

conkerchops Sat 01-Apr-17 09:00:59

So sorry you are going through this @misssmoo - I am a few days ahead of you - I started having spotting at 10+5 - only tiny amounts and the EPU advised was normal and to wait for 12 week scan - we finally had this on Tuesday and found out baby had stopped growing at 8 weeks. I had such a strong feeling that this was the news we were going to get but it still came as an enormous shock - I opted for the surgery which we had yesterday - the bleeding did increase between Tuesday and Friday with a few cramps but nothing too heavy. I was terrified of the procedure and cried a lot when we went in yesterday but can honestly reassure you that it was absolutely no way near what I feared. The nurses and drs on the day unit were so kind and lovely and took v good care of us. I went to surgery at 1.30 - and when I woke up I had a few cramps pains - they tipped me up with pain killers and anti sickness and we were able to go home at 4 - so fast so we could be there when our two children got home from school disco.
This am I have light to moderate bleeding like a light period and no cramping at all - in fact we are still able to go on our holiday this afternoon.
Emotionally I feel v v wobbly - this is the second mmc we have had in 5 months - but we are getting counselling from a local miscarriage charity which has helped loads and we are v v lucky that we have our 7 and 9 year old who have helped keep us smiling through v v hard days.
I really hope it goes well for you tomorrow - please
Message me if you would like to - my biggest fear was the unknown and I wish I'd had someone to talk it through with beforehand.

conkerchops Sat 01-Apr-17 09:03:40

Forgot to mention - they did say that even with the light bleeding I had had before the procedure most of three pregnancy had already passed or been reabsorbed so there wasn't much for them to remove - what they did remove they have sent to the lab for genetic testing though so we might get some idea why this has happened to us twice now.

Misssmoo Sat 01-Apr-17 09:17:02

Conker thank u so much u have mad energy feel a bit more relaxed so sorry you had to do this twice..I also have two beautiful children to keep me going ....it's just awful waiting isn't it...hope you have a fab holiday u deserve it xxx

Misssmoo Sat 01-Apr-17 09:17:32

Made me not mad energy sorry this spell check x

conkerchops Sat 01-Apr-17 10:43:45

The first time we had to wait a week and then had an mva - which I won't lie was a truly hideous experience and I think that in part added to my anxiety about the Erpc - the Eric could not have been more different - you go to sleep so not aware of a thing and you wake up and the pain is not too bad at all and bleeding far less - I really hope you have the same easy process we had - well easy physically - this is never ever easy emotionally - still a long way to go there. The gp has given me three weeks off work due to the emotional trauma - particularly having it twice in 5 months - will be thinking of you tomorrow xx

Bloosh Sat 01-Apr-17 10:53:21

I've done it naturally twice - it was gruelling as took a couple of weeks to start and then I continued bleeding for at least two weeks. I felt it prolonged the pain tbh. The third time was frightening and involved having transfusions - thank god for the nhs. Fourth time I had a d&c and it was simple and quick (good hospital though).

All in all I've gone off the natural approach. Just my experience, of course. I have two healthy children now.

Misssmoo Sat 01-Apr-17 11:12:35

Thanks ladies think I'm making the right choice wanted to avoid the d and c as felt in was letting them take my baby..life is shit at times but we will get there xxx

DancingUnicorn Sat 01-Apr-17 23:44:06

I need to figure this out by Monday. Had my 12 week scan yesterday, but baby stopped growing at 9+4. It was a complete shock, I still felt completely pregnant. I don't think I can cope with waiting naturally for it, but have no idea whether surgery is better than the medical option. Sorry, don't mean to waffle on.

Thinking of you for tomorrow missmoo.

SpunBodgeSquarepants Sun 02-Apr-17 00:26:02

Misssmoo after it's all done you won't regret going for the ERPC. I found out when I was ten weeks that my baby had died at exactly six weeks. I opted to miscarry naturally and waited for three more weeks but still nothing happened. I had an ERPC two weeks ago, I was at the hospital for 7am, went into theatre at 8:30 and woke up an hour later and it was all done. I went home at 1pm after a sandwich and some biscuits! It was like a weight off my shoulders. I had light spotting for ten days, and that's it. Waiting to miscarry naturally was horrible, I was scared to be away from home too long in case it started suddenly.
I promise you that you will be fine. If I ever had the misfortune to suffer another MMC I would opt straight for ERPC.

GreedyDuck Sun 02-Apr-17 08:47:08

Please don't be too scared about the surgical option. I've had two MVAs (like an ERPC but with local anaesthetic), and although not pleasant they were over very quickly and it was a huge relief to draw a line under the physical aspect of miscarrying so that I could get on with grieving. I had very little bleeding afterwards and conceived again 6 months after the first and seven weeks after the second.

I will definitely opt for another ERPC if I mc again.

conkerchops Sun 02-Apr-17 08:52:30

Yes please don't be scared - I was terrified on Friday and I honestly need not have been as the staff we're so kind and gentle with me and it was over so quickly and you are now aware of a thing as you are asleep- thinking of you today xx

Misssmoo Sun 02-Apr-17 18:29:13

Thanks all gor your kind words just got home as was emergency before me which delayed my surgery ....in started to bleed alot whikeneaiting for the op unfortunately not what unwanted in had an internal and it was still decided I needed the op. I went down woke up an hour later and feel a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders now just the mental recover. .thank u all xxx

SmokyMountains Sun 02-Apr-17 20:06:14

I'm so glad it you are home and the physical side is dealt with, Missmoo.
Rest up and be gentle to yourself, its ok to be wobby.

DancingUnion, I wish you well for tomorrow

Misssmoo Sun 02-Apr-17 20:15:35

Thank u smoky u realky did helpn with yoir advice xx..dancing unicorn in was so scared I was making myself vomit and honestly was fine if u need a chat u can pm me sorry for your loss us ladies are string and get through it ..hope everything goes okay tomorrow xx

DancingUnicorn Sun 02-Apr-17 20:22:27

Thanks missmoo and smokey. Glad you got through the day ok today missmoo. Take care of yourself, physically and emotionally. 💐

FindingNormal Sun 02-Apr-17 20:23:25

flowers I had an erpc in 2014. I ha it as soon as I found out my baby had died as couldn't bear the thought of carrying the poor thing around with me and waiting. Recovery (physically) was very quick and I'd stopped bleeding within a week. Hope you feel better soon. The healing start now.

Misssmoo Sun 02-Apr-17 20:42:08

Thanks unicorn ..yeah your right finding normal I'm feeling like my anxiety has got slot better this has been a week from he'll I originally opted to wait and try and see if things moved naturally bit after a week enough was enough but everybody to there own ...only you know what's right.wish I just went dtarught fir d and c would of mens a lot less worry and physical pain ...xxx

SpunBodgeSquarepants Sun 02-Apr-17 22:23:29

I felt the same after waiting three weeks to miscarry naturally and nothing happened.. just wish I went straight for ERPC as the waiting and not knowing when it was going to happen was the worst thing for me, once I accepted the fact I wasn't going to have a baby anymore. I'm glad it went well for you misssmoo, rest up and take it easy for a few days though. I went for a walk a couple of days after mine and bleeding got a little worse.

Misssmoo Mon 03-Apr-17 05:56:37

Thanks spun sorry u went through this also. ...can I ask was your body sore day after I feel like I've been hit by a truck..and when u went back to work I was thinking of going back tomorrow but I feel like s##t at the minute xx

conkerchops Mon 03-Apr-17 09:19:06

So pleased to hear you are home and it went well missmoo - I felt exactly the same that a weight had been lifted off me after it was over - be kind and gentle with yourself now - don't rush back to work - the emotional side takes far longer and I feel v much hit by a bus there - luckily we are on holiday so I can sleep and recover as much as I need! (Well not really as our 7 year
Old was up at 7am having a strop as we wouldn't let him build his sisters lego!) - what I found last time though is that as women we are way more resilient than we think and incredibly strong.
Hope all goes well for you today dancing unicorn xx

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