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Late miscarriage, worries etc

(3 Posts)
Mamabear468 Mon 27-Mar-17 16:17:40

Hi just looking to vent really. I went for my 16 week check (I was 17+5) on the 1st March midwife couldn't find a heartbeat and scan confirmed baby was dead. I delivered our little boy on the 4th. We've just gotten back from a few days holiday (was booked before I even knew I was pregnant) and I feel like I've gone back to square one with trying to get on with life.
I think before our holiday I could focus on preparing for the holiday and making decisions for the funeral etc. I already have a wonderful DD who is 2.5 yr and​ I'm trying to focus on her but it doesn't occupy my mind as much as I would like it to.
Both beforehand and now time seems to be passing incredibly slowly, I can't believe it's only been 3 weeks and we've got another 10 days till the funeral and at least another 3 weeks before we will know if there are any results from the tests confused
I'm just feeling low and keep playing things over in my head too much. I'm also worrying in advance as I know people have said that their baby's due dates are understandably particularly difficult days to get through. My due date would have been in August and it would have been my Dd's 3rd birthday so I'm worrying that this and all her future birthdays are going to be tainted cause I can't quite be happy enough for her as I'm missing my little boy and thinking of what might have been.

INeedNewShoes Mon 27-Mar-17 16:25:25

Mama - I'm really sorry for your loss and for what you're going through.

I have only experienced an early miscarriage at 11 weeks so I can't fully imagine how hard it must be to get through the 12-week scan and then have this happen afterwards.

I just wanted to say on the due date issue though, that the due date of my miscarried baby was the 28th of November 2016 and it came and went without a second thought. Just because some women place a lot of importance on the due date it doesn't mean that you have to. So few babies (only 4%!) are born on their due date. Don't feel that you 'should' feel sad when that date comes around; you are grieving now and by August you will hopefully be feeling more robust, and could even be expecting again!

Cocoabean25 Mon 27-Mar-17 20:17:42

So sorry you're going through this. My due date would also have been in August. All I can say is to try and keep yourself busy. You are bound to feel low - this is a horrific time. I've had a couple of months to grieve and I'm still very much grieving now. You are bound to feel upset on your baby's due date but that doesn't mean you can't also make your daughter's birthday special. I suppose we will always think of what might have been but everyone says things get easier in time. We won't ever forgot though xx

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