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Am I being greedy to want more kids?

(8 Posts)
wdywac Wed 22-Mar-17 16:58:34

I've just had my 3rd mc in 13 months. 10 wks, then my lovely, tiny boy at 21 wks, now another at 8 wks. I'm beyond devastated. Each time I'm sure it'll be fine. I have 2 healthy kids. I just want one more. Am I being greedy? I've nowhere to turn. Hospital says just to try again. I work and my employer is awful. I was off after my late mc; I asked for confidentilaity, he ignored it, I became office gossip, I have PTSD and it was unbearable, he's nitpicking all my work. People still won't shut up with the coments 'well at least you have 2' 'you can always try again' 'you're impacting team sales targets' He can't find out so whatever happens I have to be all smiles and back at my desk in the morning. But I miss my babies and I just want one more. Is it wrong of me to want to keep trying? I don't want to lose my job. I just want another baby.

Enidblyton1 Wed 22-Mar-17 17:08:51

So sorry about your losses flowers
Of course you are not being greedy and it is not wrong if you to want to keep trying.

Bitchfromhell Wed 22-Mar-17 17:15:33


Your employer has no business commenting on your private life. If further comments are made you could try calmly reminding people of this.
If you have a hr department you could arrange a meeting. This is a serious breach of your rights as an employee and he really needs reprimanding for his actions thus far.
You are not in the wrong here, your thinking might be a bit skewed because you a grieving. You are not to blame. You deserve respect and kindness.

As for still wanting a third, of course you can want what you want. Regardless of the opinions of your employer and colleagues.

They are behaving like arseholes.

Reow Wed 22-Mar-17 17:18:39

How old are your two children?

How do you feel they are being effected by this?

Asking the question as I have experience of this and one of the children being in therapy for many years as an adult due to their experience of this as the child and their feeling/perception of what was happening.

wdywac Wed 22-Mar-17 17:23:11

They only know about their brother. He was born at home, but they were 18 months and 3 so the youngest doesn't remember. The older ones has a mental age of 6 or 7 so she does. She does not know about the others. I've told her it's very sad but a part of life we have to accept. She understand as well as you'd expect a child to.

wdywac Wed 22-Mar-17 17:27:00

Bitchfromhell thank you. I've tried through my union but he didn't actually break company policy by doing it, and being insensitive isn't against the rules. I could file a grievance but then I have to hash it all out again, and he can't unsay it. So he can pretty much do as he likes.

Reow Wed 22-Mar-17 17:27:40

Ah ok they are very small.

It's sad OP flowers

Have you had any medical investigation into what might be going on?

wdywac Wed 22-Mar-17 18:04:48

Reow they were probably all for different reasons so I'm just unlucky. After my late mc I thought it might be because I was too fat so I lost 3 st. They said it wasn't but it couldn't hurt. So I thought this time I had much more going for me.

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