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Missed miscarriage

(7 Posts)
Keeksxx Sat 18-Mar-17 21:18:12

Please can anyone advise..
I found out I was pregnant when I was around 6 weeks. This was such a shock. I have two children already but I knew we could never have an abortion. (Not judging anyone by the way - I just don't have it in me)

At 7 weeks and 5 days i had an early scan as I had stomach pain they were checking for ectopic. Everything was fine and I saw a tiny bean with a lovely heartbeat

I had horrendous all day/ bed bonding sickness until a week ago.

Yesterday we had our first proper scan. I was so excited, I made a scrap book and left space to add the scan photos.. I was 14 weeks and 5 days.

They turned the screen on and I couldn't see a baby I knew something was wrong she told me it's okay you're just not far on, I said I am far on I know I am as I had a scan I saw her face change.

The baby had no heartbeat. The baby was measuring 8 weeks and 1 day.. days after I had my first scan.

I am devastated I feel sick to my stomach how can my body be carrying my child 6/7 weeks after they have passed and I know nothing? My breasts are sore I have a bump. I have sickness. I am so confused.

They said I can wait to pass naturally but how much longer can this take, won't I get an infection? A long time has already passed.

I have some lower cramps like behind my pubic bone but nothing significant and no bleeding.. I need this to be done I feel sick that my poor child is in there not even alive.

I was excited. I wanted to be a mum again. I know I have 2 kids and some have none but i just wanted to love and protect this baby and I feel like i have failed.

Maybe I lost the baby because I wasn't as excited as I was for my other two and it's bad karma I dont know.

I don't understand how my body has remained "pregnant" this long :-(

Cocoabean25 Sat 18-Mar-17 22:32:01

So sorry for what you're going through. None of this is your fault - the world can be very cruel sometimes. I can't advise on whether to wait or not as my miscarriage was complete. I would take this weekend to think and talk to your partner / husband. Go and see you GP on Monday and talk through options. I expect it is a horrible decision to make. Big hugs xxx

Keeksxx Sat 18-Mar-17 22:40:47

Thank you for your reply Cocoa.. I needed to get all that written down and off my chest. Since my post I have had tightenings and period pain spreading across my stomach so I wonder if this is it, the beginning of something happening. I don't feel physically or mentally prepared for this. I don't know how much pain or bleeding to expect. Don't want to search on Google so going in "blind"... I'm sore already and not even started bleeding.

Doesn't help DS is awake with a temperature, my fiancé will watch him but feel like I need to be completely alone in the house to deal with this...

Hoping (not in a bad way) that this is the start of my body recognising the loss and I may miscarry over night .. x

sticklebrix Sat 18-Mar-17 22:53:11

I'm so sorry that this is happening to you Keek.

It's such a shock. There really is no way your emotions could have affected the outcome of this pregnancy. Please, please don't feel guilty.

flowers

Cocoabean25 Sat 18-Mar-17 22:56:15

Can only advise strong painkillers, hot water bottle and rest. Tell your fiancé what you need and hopefully he will help with son and give you the space you need. Don't be afraid to tell him exactly what you want and don't want - I had to spell it out very clearly for my partner and he's much better now (men!). Amount of bleeding completely varies from person to person so no point googling and it would upset you anyway. Also don't expect to be emotionally over this quickly - I miscarried 2 months ago and still feel very sad. Find it helpful to talk about my beautiful baby who wasn't meant to be. Keep talking on here and we'll help you through it xxx

Purpleprickles Sat 18-Mar-17 22:58:01

Nothing you have thought or felt has done this. It isn't your fault at all. I had a mmc and needed to wait a week to have another scan to confirm as I wasn't 100% of my dates, although I knew I was much further along than the scan said. In that time nothing happened so I opted to have the erpc as for me I just needed the physical loss to be over and sorted. Be kind to yourself, there is no 'right' way to miscarry. I think it's really down to what you can emotionally deal with and what will help you the most. It can take a long time to mentally heal so take all the support from around you and also the pregnancy loss boards on here are wonderfully supportive.

emvy Sun 19-Mar-17 13:50:39

OP I'm so sorry you're going through this. I too had a missed miscarriage. It is a bizarre thought that your body clings on to something that isn't alive anymore. I opted for surgery as I was told it could take 4-6 weeks for me to miscarry naturally. Apparently, missed miscarriages often happen because until the placenta takes over between 12-14 weeks, your hormones drive the pregnancy. Once the placenta tries to take over in an unsuccessful pregnancy, it can't, and you will begin to miscarry. So you shouldn't have to wait too long for that to happen. It is absolutely not to do with you, please don't beat yourself up. Be kind to yourself, rest, enjoy your children. I hope it happens soon and I wish you the best for the future flowers

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