MMC and d and c I am heartbroken

(12 Posts)
Bond2000 Fri 17-Mar-17 17:19:51

I had a mmc on 10/2/17 I was 10 weeks myself and my Husband are devastated and still struggling to come to terms with the loss
I decided to go for medical management which for me was an awful experience and had ended in me having a d and c last Friday I had bleeding the next day then clear all week and today I wake up bleeding again and unsure as if this is my period of still bleeding it's been such a long process and can't wait for all this to stop and try and move on and in time try again , not sure when is the right time or when is safe to try again does anyone know this or can share there stories

OohNoDooEy Fri 17-Mar-17 17:22:06

Sorry for what you're going through - it's a horrible time, I have been there myself. You can try again straight away but tracking ovulation is helpful.

Good luck. Remember that everyone grieves at their own pace

emvy Fri 17-Mar-17 19:49:39

So sorry for what you're going through. I have recently just been through this myself, I was 8 weeks. I had light bleeding up to about 48 hours after the surgery and then only spotted for the next week. Bang on a week later I had heavy bleeding for about 2 days and now it's back to spotting. According to the nurses you can experience bleeding up to 2 weeks after and a test should come back negative after 3 weeks (although not all places tell you to test again by the sounds of it). You can have sex again once the bleeding as stopped but we're going to wait until we get the negative so we know if we get a positive on that test that it's not a new pregnancy. Some people get told to wait until after their next period before they start trying again. Partly, I think, to do with dating a new pregnancy and on some occasions there can be products left that are passed with your first period.

I hope your physical symptoms begin to tail off soon. Take all the time out you need to get yourself back into a good place emotionally flowers

Wolfiefan Fri 17-Mar-17 19:54:26

I am so so sorry for your loss. This was how my first pregnancy ended. Scan at 13 weeks showed no heartbeat and baby had likely died at about 6 weeks. I was beyond devastated. As it had been so long I was only offered ERPC.
Of course you are struggling. It's hard emotionally, physically, mentally and comes as a complete shock.
I was devastated and cried buckets. I was concerned I would never have children.
It is very soon but. We left it a month and started trying again. Three months later I was pg. I now have two healthy children.

Scotlass Fri 17-Mar-17 20:09:59

So sorry for your loss.

I had 3 mc's before DS (now 8) was born. I already had DD so was not expecting anything to go wrong once never mind 3 times. Middle one was mmc and had to have D&C. I'm not going to lie it was the saddest, hardest time in my life. Luckily my EPU were fantastic with me and kept me sane when I was pg with DS.
Investigations are usually only done if mc is recurrent and my tests didn't show any reason. I took low dose aspirin and some sick leave at 2-3mths as I was a nervous wreck. MN was also a massive support to me.

Be kind to yourself and DH, it's a horrible thing you're going through. We're all different and trying again timeline depends on what suits you. I believe current research suggests no need to wait but you need to make whatever choice is best for you.

Bond2000 Fri 17-Mar-17 20:15:06

Thankyou to you all for taking the time to reply having this as a place to speak is a big help to me and hearing that your not alone is comforting in some way
It's so nice to hear all your success stories to and to know there is hope of a successful pregnancy after a misscarrage flowers

ems137 Fri 17-Mar-17 20:32:47

Oh I'm so so sorry for what you're going through, I've had 2 MMC before and they are truly devastating. I was heartbroken.

I've since had our 18 month old and am 25 wks pregnant again.

I bled lightly for a little while after d & c. Yes, ovulation tracking helps so you know when you're period is due etc. You can try straight away, they only say to wait a cycle so a pregnancy can be easily dated x

Wolfiefan Fri 17-Mar-17 20:34:24

There is absolutely hope. It doesn't stop you grieving this loss though. flowers

Bond2000 Fri 17-Mar-17 20:41:44

It's such a difficult thing to go through and the worse thing is it's so common and so many people have gone through it to so sorry that you have all had to go through it to and some of you more than once
We have an apt next week to make sure all is ok and everything that's meant to happen is fingers crossed my periods come back soon and ovulation starts again so I can start to feel better it's a long proces physically

Scotlass Fri 17-Mar-17 21:00:42

flowers
I hope your bleeding settles down soon. This might be your period now, it can take a bit to settle after D&C I think.
It is a long process, you're definitely in the right place if you need an understanding ear.

Zoflorabore Sat 18-Mar-17 22:37:21

Sorry op, it's awful I had pretty much the same experience as you- also ten weeks.

We had our original due date of 28th October 2010, this day which should have been so happy has got a very different meaning now as it marks the date our baby should have been born but also my lovely nanna died on this date when I was 5 months pregnant with dd who is now 6.

I got pregnant 6 weeks after the mmc and was so shocked but the doctor said women are extremely fertile afterwards, there is definitely hope.

I genuinely hope you get your happy ending too, give yourself time to heal, talk about your feelings and above all, look after yourself xx

TurquoiseDress Mon 20-Mar-17 20:49:09

Hi OP

So sorry to hear about your loss.
It's such a horrible thing and you will always remember the baby you lost, but you will come out the other side and start to feel ready to move on eg with TTC again.

I had a MMC last summer at 13 weeks, found out at the dating scan, such an awful shock.

This was over 9 months ago and we have been TTC again ever since with no luck so far sad

Every day I think about the MMC and what could have been. In my mind I feel like I should be "over" it by now.

Becoming pregnant again would definitely help a huge amount- I kind of assumed it'd be fairly quick as I've always fallen pregnant straight away twice before- but I still feel in a kind of limbo.

Good luck, be kind to yourself cake

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