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4th miscarriage- just so sad. Need a plan.

(28 Posts)
Misskittycat16 Wed 15-Mar-17 20:20:32

So over the last 17 months I've suffered 3 mmcs, I am just going through my 4th. I have no living DC.
It has nearly broken me and without the help of my wonderful family, friends and antidepressants I would be in a very deep and dark place ( although I have my moments of total despair and FML!!! ) .
I have had many many blood tests, scans etc all normal results. The foetus of the 3rd miscarriage was a sent off for genetic testing- all fine, she was a little girl. 😥 I am type 2 diabetic but it is well controlled. The only thing I haven't been tested for is NK cells which is next on my list.
My question is really which way to turn. I am
39 so my age worries me greatly. I'm not sure whether to go through the NHS and get an appointment at Professor Quenby's clinic or to go to a private fertility clinic. We are by no means well off but I feel like time is running out and I just don't know what to do. Does anyone have experience of pursuing either of these routes?
Sorry if I've rambled

GirlElephant Wed 15-Mar-17 20:26:24

I haven't been through what you have but just wanted to send you a hug & also best wishes that you have a healthy pregnancy and baby:m. I can't imagine how you feel, is your DP supportive?

Misskittycat16 Wed 15-Mar-17 21:13:20

Ah bless you, thank you. DP is supportive and lovely but I guess it's not his body going through it so can only 'get it' so much. If that makes sense?

Summergarden Wed 15-Mar-17 21:17:55

So sorry to hear this. I only had one mc before I had DCs but even that was upsetting.

It's a good sign that you're able to conceive at least. Do you and your DP take multivitamins? Also, sometimes women who suffer multiple mc take low dose 'baby' aspirin in the first trimester, has your doctor mentioned this to you?

Wishing you lots of luck for the future.

Neolara Wed 15-Mar-17 21:21:42

I'm sorry.. It's absolutely rubbish and not fair.

I'm not sure if this is going to be a consolation, but my friend had 7 mcs in a row before going on to have 2 dcs.

I wish you the best of luck for the future..

Misskittycat16 Wed 15-Mar-17 21:42:31

Summer - I took low dose baby aspirin in the 3rd pregnancy. I then went to the recurrent miscarriage clinic at Tommys and they told me I didn't need any medication. Having said that I got the furthest with that pregnancy 8.5 weeks) it's so difficult to know what to do. I've taken multivitamins when I found out I was pregnant but not in between so that's something myself and DP can do- thank you. Don't know why I didn't think of that before.

Misskittycat16 Wed 15-Mar-17 21:46:02

Neo- thank you. It does give me hope and almost becomes a 'numbers game' I want so much to be a mum and the conception bit is ridiculously easy ( I wonder if I have Hyperfertility!) I know people go through much worse than me but I can't help but feel a bit sorry for myself

witwootoodleoo Wed 15-Mar-17 21:52:50

I'm so sorry to hear this. Do you know what your thyroid levels are? And have you been tested for thyroid antibodies? I've recently learnt that you can have thyroid levels that are on the edge of normal which, whilst aren't typically enough for the NHS to treat, can swiftly become a problem when pregnant when your body's need for the thyroid hormone increases massively. This is apparently particularly an issue if you are positive for the thyroid antibody. There is a study being done on it at the moment - see here.

NHS GPs are often lacking in knowledge on the subject and even some multiple miscarriage units don't seem to be routinely testing for thyroid antibodies. On the bright side it is pretty easy to treat.

YouMeddlingKids Wed 15-Mar-17 21:56:43

I very nearly went to prof quenby after my fourth miscarriage, but my consultant referred me to prof regan on the NHS so went there instead. But my understanding was that prof quenby could see you within a few weeks, for a few hundred (cheaper than most clinics). Good luck, it's such an awful situation - I got lucky fifth time round BTW

peripateticparents Wed 15-Mar-17 22:07:47

Kitty, I'm sorry to hear of your losses. I went through the RMC at st Mary's. They put me on aspirin for one of my pregnancies (which I lost). I also went through ARGC as though I'd conceived there and they had me on heparin injections plus I did one ivig (after which I was horribly poorly for weeks). Having had those experiences, I genuinely think a huge part of my live births was getting my eggs in the best state possible so that they would survive. If you research, you'll find the last 3 months before an egg is released, it matures and having the perfect environment (vitamins minerals oils etc) helps it to mature properly. I found a good 'summary' on fertility friends website (you'll have to join to get access to the forum, I think) - look for angelbumps' fertility protocol. I took so many pills I rattled for 3 months when I was preparing, but conceived the first month, she's playing here beside me (and I was 41). If I recall, the book 'the fertility diet' was similar, but takes longer to read!

A lot of people think these things are only necessary if you can't conceive, but it was one of those 'aha' moments when I realised what the egg needs to mature properly to be ready to grow properly!
Best of luck!

Misskittycat16 Wed 15-Mar-17 22:30:20

As far as I'm aware my thyroid levels were tested but I'm not sure about the antibodies so that's something I'll chase up. I asked for all of my results but just got told they were within normal ranges. I've lost so much faith in the NHS treatment of recurrent miscarriages. The consultant said it was 'just bad luck!'

Peri- that makes a lot of sense regarding the quality of the egg. I'm going to do some research into that. As you quite rightly say I thought because I can get pregnant very easily I didn't think I needed to worry about egg quality as such.

I've heard of professor regan but don't know much about what she does so I'll google her!

Thank you for all of your helpful replies. It's giving an old girl hope!

witwootoodleoo Wed 15-Mar-17 22:54:37

Do get a copy of your thyroid results and push for an antibody test if you've not had one. I've been diagnosed with a thyroid problem recently despite my results being within 'normal ranges' and my specialist told me that thyroid problems can cause miscarriage even while in normal ranges particularly where you have thyroid antibodies (which aren't routinely tested for). If you find yourself needing a private endocrinologist I can recommend mine in London if that is any use - he was actually involved in the TABLET study before he decided to go 100% private so is very hot on how thyroid issues can cause miscarriage.

Misskittycat16 Thu 16-Mar-17 15:23:01

Thank you wit. That's very kind. I will definitely keep that in mind. I'm in Birmingham so I've contacted Midland Fertility Clinic and have the registration pack to fill out. Trying to work out the best way to use our funds by either going for the NK cell test or trying a broader approach with the fertility clinic. Head is spinning with it all

SmokyMountains Thu 16-Mar-17 16:02:31

Hello, I'm so sorry for the position you are in.

I lost my first 5 pgs - 4 mc's and 1 late loss.
There are no words for how shit it is, are there?

I also went to tommy's recurrent miscarriage clinic, after initially being treated at a shit local hospital.

I found that there really isn't a general consensus about treatment which makes it confusing and crazy making to try and decide what to do.

Some look on thyroid testing/ nk cells etc as the 'new' treatments that are just being incorporated into the system and some consultants are sniffy about them as they are pushing the boundaries of their knowledge, others think some of these new treatments are snake oil salesmen selling false hope...it is so difficult to know who to believe.

With regard to nutrients, one consultant told me it was vital I started to address any deficiencies in my diet as it might make all the difference and then another told me to carry on if it was making me feel better but all I was doing was making my urine more expensive.

I just wanted to lock them all in a room for 48 hours so they could come to some kind of agreed protocol for treatment that I could then follow.

The one thing that really jumps out of your post is the fact that the third baby was tested and no problems were found. Most miscarriages are the result of genetic problems (at least 80%) and so I think that would make me more inclined to explore the thyroid/nk etc side of things as potentially that embryo has what it needs to make it but then something is going wrong, it isn't an abnormal embryo that is never going to be viable. Does that make sense?

You can pay a set amount and get all your notes photocopied and sent to you, so might be worth contacting tommys for this. You would then know all your results for thyroid etc and might save money too if you are going elsewhere as they could take a view on which tests need to be repeated and which don't.

GreyStars Thu 16-Mar-17 16:10:30

I've had way too many, it really doesn't get any easier but you can learn to cope better if it happens again.

I was offered a therapist after number five and it really has been the only thing that has kept me on an even keel.

It is the most heartbreaking and lonely thing to go through, I'm so sorry it is happening to you. flowers

Is your body baby friendly (or ready) I will check when I get home. I think I read you were older? Some helpful advise in there for older ladies as myself am 39.

Tollygunge Thu 16-Mar-17 21:29:18

I had 4 losses in a row. These were 2 late and 2 early. I had one child already.

I had all tests and everything was normal, kept being told it was bad luck. In the end I was prescribed Clomid by the gynaecologist who did my d and c after the 4th miscarriage. His theory was that it would give me a stronger egg which would be more likely to implant and survive. Pretty much every health care professional I've spoken to has told me this is bollocks but I did get pregnant and had my child 6 months ago. I also took low dose aspirin and progesterone throughout pregnancy. Good luck

NicolaC17 Thu 16-Mar-17 22:06:59

Misskittycat16 - I'm so sorry for your loses. I have had 3 miscarriages and a pregnancy of PUl (unknown location) I've recently been to see Professor Quenby and she's fantastic. All my bloods have come back normal and I am now part of th SIM trial (scratch in miscarriage) it might be worth looking at as it won't cost you anything to take part and Professor Quenby is the lead consultant. I have however head good things about midland fertility and it's probably the next avenue for us to explore if we do go on to miscarry again. Keep us updated on your progress. X

Misskittycat16 Thu 16-Mar-17 22:07:19

Gosh I'm so sorry that so many of us have been through miscarriage and thank you for taking the time to reply flowers

Smoky I found myself nodding vigorously to your post! The advice is so conflicting, it's so frustrating. My plan is to collate all the results to present to the consultant ( depending on which route we decide to go down)
It was a big relief that the genetic test came back ok and foolishly I hoped that the next pregnancy would be ok. I think you are right in that the embryo is ok but my body is not a good environment for them to grow into healthy babies.
Thank you for post, I'll definitely be contacting Tommys tomorrow.

Misskittycat16 Thu 16-Mar-17 22:10:31

Tolly it sounds like you had conflicting advice too. I asked for progesterone in the 3rd pregnancy and they wouldn't prescribe anything for me. Really glad you got to have a healthy baby though,gives the rest of us hope.

Misskittycat16 Thu 16-Mar-17 22:18:21

Grey, thank you for your post. I have found this last one easier because I wouldn't let myself think about it. Number 2 I wanted to die. I'm sorry you've had so many, unless you've been through it no one can ever really know how utterly soul destroying and frustrating it is.
I'm 39 ( 40 in august) so feeling the time pressure.
Fingers crossed for us all

Misskittycat16 Thu 16-Mar-17 22:23:18

Nicola . I am leaning towards midland fertility but only because they obviously don't just concentrate on NK cells as opposed to Professor Quenby but I have heard she is fab! I will definitely look into the SIM trial. Thank you. Will keep you posted.

SmokyMountains Fri 17-Mar-17 07:58:52

re the progesterone, I was part of a progesterone trial during my successful 6th PG, and later read the research paper that came out of it, and the upshot of it all was it made no statistical difference at less than 40, but did make some at 40+, so the advice was not to bother unless you were 40 already....might be worth pushing for this again in next PG as you are so near that cut off.

Caj19 Fri 17-Mar-17 15:33:35

Hi , I'm really struggling after my 4th miscarriage. The 1st came away naturally and the other 3 were all missed miscarriages at practically the same stage 7 w 3 d 7w 5d and 7w 4d. Apart from the 1st miscarriage they were all exactly the same & the last 2 I saw healthy heartbeats at early scans . I had blood tests after the 3rd miscarriage and they came back normal and the genetic testing that was done came back fine . I'm due to have bloods in 5 weeks & see the gynaecologist in 7 weeks hoping to get some answers as I can't accept it being down to nature .

Misskittycat16 Fri 17-Mar-17 21:49:46

Caj I'm sorry you are struggling too. I feel much the same, it can't just be down to bad luck or nature, really think that SOMETHING must be wrong! Fingers crossed we all get our healthy babies. It's so very frustrating!

Smoky I wonder a lot about the placebo effect with all of these drugs but I have read a lot about anecdotal evidence and there seems to be lots of positive stories. I contacted Tommys today and have started to fill in the novel paperwork to send off to midland fertility ( may have to sell DP's kidney to pay for it because I'm going to need mine to have a healthy baby!!)

MyHairNeedsASnip Fri 17-Mar-17 21:58:23

Sorry you're going through this flowers after my last one I was told to take 5mg of folic acid a day starting immediately. Still waiting for the results of the foetal testing to see if there's a problem there, but all my other results are clear. I too struggle to think this is just one of those things and there must be a reason.

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