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Missed miscarriage

(20 Posts)
Whyarealltheusernamestaken Sun 12-Mar-17 03:26:02

My first scan showed no heartbeat and that growth had stopped a couple of weeks ago. I don't know what I'm supposed to feel now, I've gone from tears to thinking its for the best as something must have been wrong...

Luckily not many people knew I was pregnant, but I'm pretending I'm fine as don't want them to worry, that would upset me more

I'm a bit lost at the moment

duxb Sun 12-Mar-17 04:18:58

I'm sorry to hear you are going through this.

Please ensure you keep communicating with your partner and if is is confirmed at your next scan there is a really good thread on here about the practicalities of miscarriage which is a useful read.

Allow yourself to recover emotionally and physically - it will get easier.

Whyarealltheusernamestaken Sun 12-Mar-17 04:29:19

Thank you, it wasn't in doubt because of the size difference, should have been 10 weeks but measured 6 and no heartbeat, but bleeding came on today anyhow so definitely no doubt. I've read up, google is scary!

I hate this, I accepted I was infertile, and moved on, gave up and then this is like some weird cruel trick! 13 years so not drama queening

3luckystars Sun 12-Mar-17 04:30:37

I'm so sorry x

Whyarealltheusernamestaken Sun 12-Mar-17 04:37:08

Thank you Lucky

duxb Sun 12-Mar-17 05:05:21

I know it doesn't seem like much consolation but if you believed you were infertile then this has just proven that isn't the case and when the time feels right, perhaps you can look at trying again .

Stay close to home, make sure you have some comfy clothes, a hot water bottle, whatever comfort food helps and bed in.

do whatever feels best for you - whether that's staying in bed, in the bathroom or anywhere else in your house.

Avoid tampons and stock up on paracetamol and ibruprofen.

Please don't suffer through this alone - allow yourself to grieve because this is a loss.

The miscarriage association are wonderful

Chlo22 Sun 12-Mar-17 11:35:08

Sorry to hear this. I'm going through a mmc at the moment and feel completely lost as well. It does help knowing people are there for you and care but I can't face anyone apart from my husband and mum at the moment. I've stayed at home all weekend and not moved far from the sofa or bed. Magazines provided a bit of a distraction yesterday and I've been watching quiz shows on my iPad. Sounds silly but I don't want to watch anything emotional or anything in depth as can't deal with it right now but sitting there in silence was awful. As soon as I feel ok physically to leave the house, im going to go and talk to a counsellor and see a reflexologist lady I was seeing. At the moment I'm waking up and feeling like what's the point and I don't want to get any worse.
I felt like this was a very cruel trick after 14 months of ttc so you must feel absolutely gutted but it does show you can conceive and in most cases it does make you more fertile because your body has already geared up for it - which is also pretty shit. Take care of yourself xxx

XanaduBubbles Sun 12-Mar-17 12:51:36

The exact same thing just happened to me. Should have been 8 to 10 weeks but measuring 6, no heartbeat. Bleeding a little but not lots and no pain. Feel like I'm just waiting to miscarry now. We're on holiday this week and i just don't know what to do. I'm so sad sad

Chlo22 Sun 12-Mar-17 13:03:22

Are you going very far? Did you get any advice from the epu or hospital? X

SpunBodgeSquarepants Sun 12-Mar-17 13:08:57

Hello Why, I'm going through the same thing at the moment. Had one gush of blood followed by spotting at 9+5 and went to A&E, had a scan at 10+5 and showed there was no heartbeat and foetus measured bang on 6 weeks. I opted for natural miscarriage as opposed to medical or surgical, but I should be 14+1 now and still nothing has happened!

It's horrible waiting as the consultant it could happen suddenly and painfully, so I haven't really left my house in the last month except when I really have to!

Have you been given the choice as to how to manage it? I have another scan on Tuesday and I think I'm going to ask for a D&C as I'm sick of waiting for it all to be over now.

Bond2000 Sun 12-Mar-17 20:14:03

So sorry to hear all of your losses this is the hardest thing to go through
I have also 4 weeks ago has a mmc at 10weeks no heartbeat our baby stopped growing at 9+2 days mine and my husbands hearts are broken I chose to do the medical management but after a scan last week I had to then have the d and c on Friday I feeel totally drained by the experience and now lost as I am
Still so emotional and not sure how to move forward from this pain
I did not Evan begin to imagaine the pain and grief it brings with it I really hope in time we can try again had anyone had a success story to tell

Whyarealltheusernamestaken Mon 13-Mar-17 00:28:22

So sorry to hear you are all going through this as well. I've had only on and off spotting since yesterday, I just want it over with now. I get the distraction thing with crap TV, I've been watching non stop cooking programmes. I just feel so numb, I normally cry easily but I haven't since the initial news, I feel nothing now. Just sick and emotionally drained

Bond2000 Mon 13-Mar-17 09:15:19

It really is so hard and I find with each milestone that would of bee is evan harder this weekend has been very hard as we would of
Been telling our daughter she was going to be a big sister it's so hard to come to terms with the loss , having
No one to talk to that understands is so hard

Whyarealltheusernamestaken Thu 16-Mar-17 02:52:21

So sorry Bond, I'm not at that stage yet, I feel I can't process this until I've actually finished the miscarriage, I can't even seem to do that successfully....

paigeleeforever182 Thu 16-Mar-17 06:09:04

Hi, I'm also going through the same thing right now, but very early. I'm supposed to be 6 weeks If measuring right (Last period was Jan 26) My hcg levels were going up fine, and the other night they said they had dropped from 420 to 330. They also can't see the sac or anything on the ultrasound. I'm thinking my levels aren't as high as they should be for 6 weeks, and a sac should definitely be there at least. Dr. Seems positive I'll miscarry. But I've had no bleeding or pain sad So confused

SpunBodgeSquarepants Thu 16-Mar-17 10:50:41

Why, I had another appointment with a consultant on Tuesday as eight weeks after the heart stopped beating I still had not miscarried naturally. I asked for an ERPC and they managed to get me in yesterday. I can't recommend it enough, it really is like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I was only in hospital for 5 hours before I was discharged. I had some pretty bad cramps when I came round from the anaesthetic but oramorph sorted them out within ten minutes! Now I'm pain free and bleeding ever so lightly. If you have any questions please ask x

Caj19 Fri 17-Mar-17 18:52:48

Over the last 20 months I've miscarried 4 times . 1 came away naturally the other 3 were missed miscarriages . The 1st time I opted for the medical management at home and I found it horrific - the worst experience of my life . The other 2 times I opted for a D&C

Backhometothenorth Fri 17-Mar-17 19:07:16

So sorry you are going through this cruel and horrible thing flowers
Be kind to yourself, take as much time to recover as you can. I have been through this twice- it really pulled the rug out from under me both times and it took a long time to recover but things will get better

Whyarealltheusernamestaken Tue 21-Mar-17 02:57:10

Well waiting for things to happen naturally was the wrong choice, certainly wasn't like the heavy period they told me. After four hours of it starting I was really dizzy and finding it hard to stand up, rang nhs helpline to get advice who sent paramedics, passed out shortly after they arrived. Wish I'd had gone for the op instead, but at least it's now over and can begin to process this. Thanks for all your support, I'm not sure if after this I'll try again but that may change. At least I know there's a great support network here if I do

rachelandthenoodle Tue 21-Mar-17 21:58:49

I've just come upon this thread as I am hitting the point I suppose a few of you (including OP) were at a few weeks ago. I just had my scan today for what was meant to be 12+5. Everything had felt so normal- morning sickness, sore breasts, swelling stomach...but the scan showed nothing but a tiny 6 wk sized foetus in an enormous sac. We're devastated. Not sure what to think or do. Have another scan in about ten days but pretty certain there's no point. Just feeling angry and cheated now. And sad. Really sad. Please tell me it gets better...

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