Practical advice during a miscarriage(3 Posts)
We have just had our first and hopefully last miscarriage. We received excellent care from the Poole Early Pregnancy Unit and due to feeling prepared for it the miscarriage was extremely sad rather than traumatic. I had read threads on miscarriage but I could find none about what you need practically so thought I'd share what I found useful.
For the miscarriage itself.
1. Incontince disposable sheets (from boots) to put on my bed at night. That way I didn't worry if I started bleeding overnight.
2. Always ultra night time sanitary pads. They we very absorbent, didn't leak at all and were not bulky.
3. Paracetamol and ibuprofen. I had period pain but I took both painkillers and I was fine.
4. A pot to put in the toilet if you are far enough gone to see the baby and want to see the baby. I used the insert of my toddlers potty and this worked well.
5. If you want to keep your little baby for a cremation/ burial then you need a safe place to put your little one. I used a jar that my toddler had previously decorated. I put a white flannel inside with a spray of my perfume and a spray of my husbands aftershave and I then used a baby flannel to put over the top followed by the jar lid. This worked well as I knew the baby was safe but also because we were actually in a hotel when it happened so we could put the jar in the sink and put ice around it until we could take it to the funeral directors.
I think we are lucky where we live as they allow you to grieve the miscarriage as a lost child. The hospital Chaplin did a blessing in the chapel and we were offered a funeral. I chose a cremation where just my husband and myself will attend to say goodbye. We did not know this before but they do not charge for baby or miscarriage cremations. The funeral directors/ crematorium provide a little coffin, a black car to transport the baby to the crematorium, a name plate for the coffin and an extra plate for us to keep and a 20 minute slot for the chapel in the crematorium. We can then pick up the ashes the next day. We just pay £18 admin costs. It has massively helped me accept the loss of our baby as I feel like he/she existed and that I can have a proper goodbye. I am so grateful to the services in Poole for allowing our baby a dignified end. Just thought I'd write a thread incase anyone else is going through this. The funeral directors were the co-op and its nation wide what they offer for miscarriage loss.
How lovely of you to think of helping others when you are going through this very sad time.
I am so sorry for the loss of your little one and glad that you have been able to find some comfort.
Thank you Winky. We tried for 2 years to get pregnant and although this ended too soon we are so grateful to have had something rather than more years of nothing. We both got to see our baby (named Franceis), enjoy being pregnant and to say goodbye.
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