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Relationship Breakdown

(3 Posts)
Char2609 Sun 05-Feb-17 08:08:54

Back in November I found out I was about 2 months pregnant. I told my fiancé and he went mad saying he wasn't ready to become a father.
The same day I told him I was taken into hospital and was told I was having an ectopic pregnancy. He was supportive through the process but I couldn't forgive him.
I'm still so angry at him for the way he reacted when I told him I was pregnant. I can't forgive him for the way he acted and I don't know what to do.

Thingymaboob Sun 05-Feb-17 19:48:01

You feel betrayed. You were vulnerable and carrying his child. His reaction sounds very selfish and thoughtless. I guess you probably worry that he will react this way again? I would feel the same as you. I'm not sure I could forgive either.

J2008 Tue 14-Feb-17 23:23:00

Hi,

This situation sounds very similar to the reaction I received from my partner. My pregnancy was unplanned so understandably when we both found out, we were both shocked and confused, although as time went on I got more and more excited and happy that I was pregnant, however he remained the same (in terms of not wanting to have the baby). I felt very torn and confused during this time and to a degree I prepared myself to have the baby potentially alone. At 9 weeks I miscarried (just over a week ago) and I feel so much guilt and loss and it hurts me to even think back to him saying he didn't want the baby.
Its difficult going through a time which is unbelievably lonely as it is and then to think the only other person who could understand the loss of you baby, doesn't really have an emotional attachment, or not in the same way you do.
I'ts such a hard time and process to go through physically and emotionally that I would try to focus on yourself for the time being and then when your feeling slightly more 'back to normal' maybe re think it all and talk to him about it. I've argued and ended up crying just telling him how much I'm hurting and he ends up just saying he understands, then i throw in his face he never wanted the baby. Its a difficult one because all we need is them to be supportive but when they don't get whats happened on the level that we do it can cause a lot of resentment. Maybe speak to someone close to you about this, I know it helped me, not just about your baby but about your relationship.
Just give yourself time, thats what I'm going to do, I feel like its all I can do at this point and hopefully it helps.
xxx

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