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Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum.

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Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum.

Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Just found out no heartbeat...

38 replies

user1480930113 · 02/02/2017 17:57

After some advice please. Found out today I've had a miscarriage at my 12 work scan. Confirmed no heartbeat probably around 10 weeks. I've had no bleeding atall and I am in shock. They talked me though my options and I really don't think i want the tablet option and would prefer surgery. Just don't fancy seeing anything unpleasant or go through the pain. Can anyone advise? Sorry jumbled post I'm very sad but now just feel like I want it out of me x

OP posts:

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Chottie · 02/02/2017 18:00

I'm so sorry. I have been in your shoes.....

I had the surgical option and it was ok. I had slight period type pains afterwards and period like bleeding.

I realise you are concentrating on the present now, but just to say that I have two beautiful DC...

Greenglassteacup · 02/02/2017 18:30

Hello there. What a horrible shock you've had. When this happened to me I opted for surgery ( erpc). I went private as I felt I couldn't wait for the nhs. I felt as you did, I wanted it out straight after the scan. Sending you love and hoping you can access what you need as soon as possible xx

Greenglassteacup · 02/02/2017 18:32

Forgot to say, I had period style cramping after the erpc but nothing too bad, nothing that didn't respond to painkillers. The period after the erpc was incredibly heavy. I had tge eroc as a day patient & was only in hospital for 4 hours in total. I had general anaesthetic

Greenglassteacup · 02/02/2017 18:33

Oops. The erpc

booellesmum · 02/02/2017 18:34

No advice, just very sorry this has happened. Much sympathy.

findingmyfeet12 · 02/02/2017 18:42

Im so sorry that this has happened to you.

I was only offered the meds and not really told about the surgical option (11 weeks).

I won't lie to you, the pain was horrendous but only lasted a few hours. I felt a need to push and went and sat on the toilet for a bit. The sac came out in one go while I was on the toilet and shocked me a bit as I hadn't known what to expect. I think it was the size of a clementine and I it shook me up so much that I immediately jumped up and flushed the loo without really looking at it.

Once it had gone the pain went away immediately. I had a follow up scan a couple of days later to confirm that there was nothing left.

I had no cramping afterwards but the whole experience left me exhausted and I think I slept for 12 hours afterwards.

Thinking back I'm glad I chose this option as I felt more comfortable going through it at home in my own surroundings.

saltycaramelshortbread · 02/02/2017 18:47

So sorry, user. I felt the same - I wanted it done and dealt with as soon as possible so I could start to get over it.

I had the tablet, and my experience wasn't too bad - painful, but relatively quick in my case and I didn't even need the pessaries. I didn't want to wait for the surgery or spend several days getting over a general anaesthetic. But I also read in the NHS leaflet that 15% of the time the tablet/pessaries don't work that, and surgery is required as well. I don't know if I'd have made the same choice if I'd processed that first.

Hope you have some support in such a horrible time - it gets easier.

user1480930113 · 02/02/2017 18:54

Thank you for your honest replies. findingmyfeet12 that's my concern i have to admit, I really dont think I can handle going through that at home so I think the best surgery option is for me.

OP posts:

Gingerbreadmam · 02/02/2017 18:57

I had an mmc two years ago. I had the medical management but it didnt do what it should so then had the surgery. It was such a relief for it to be over and i felt back to myself straight away afterwards albeit tired from the general. I didnt have any pain and barely any bleeding.

Im very sorry for your loss.

SheDancesOnTheSand · 02/02/2017 18:58

I'm so sorry you're going through this

I had a MMC - chose the tablets over the ERPC as I felt my body needed to realise what was going on (at my 12 week scan I measured at 8 weeks 5 days) I had to take another lot a few days later as I felt I hadn't passed enough and in the end had to have another scan to check it was all gone. If I could turn back time/had to go through it again I would pick the ERPC for peace of mind - knowing it had been sorted. I would advise putting your name down for counselling (you may not need it) - but because of the waiting lists! My MMC happened in Sept and after my initial meeting to diagnose/decide what would help I will finally start my counselling 3rd week of Feb!

watchingitallagain · 02/02/2017 19:23

That happened to me. I would have been ten weeks too. I chose the medical option at the time. It was a horrendous day at home but at the same time it was only a day and you get over it.

My problem was that I'd passed the foetus but not all of the placenta. It took nearly four months of investigation and treatment for infection before issues were finally resolved after surgery.

If you're anything like me, you'll just want it over with so you can get back to normal. If it ever happened to me again I'd just opt for surgery immediately.

MouseLove · 02/02/2017 20:26

I am unfortunately going through the same. Today I found out baby had stopped growing. I'm 9+3. Giving you massive hugs. I am bleeding lightly and terrified of miscarrying at home but I have to wait until probably Monday for an op. It's quite shit if I'm honest but I'm not giving up and you shouldn't too. I'm here if you need a chat about anything. Xxx

user1480930113 · 02/02/2017 21:02

Thanks. I have been offered an op next Thursday which I'm dreaded the week wait. I'm going to call them again tomorrow to see if they have anything earlier as like you I am terrifying of it happening at home x

OP posts:

itsgoingtoofast · 02/02/2017 21:11

I'm so sorry. This happened to me too, and I opted for the surgical option. Physically I found it all fine, the staff were lovely and the general anaesthetic was fine. I was glad it was all over and done with without knowing much about it. I had to wait a week between finding out and the surgery and that was tough. It was the emotional side that I found tougher than the physical to be honest. I think I would have benefitted from counselling but it was all such a blur....

Chottie · 02/02/2017 21:23

Thanks. I have been offered an op next Thursday which I'm dreaded the week wait. I'm going to call them again tomorrow to see if they have anything earlier as like you I am terrifying of it happening at home x

OP - I was originally given a week's wait too. I just could not face the wait, DH spoke to the consultant and he agreed to fit me into an earlier list.

Greenglassteacup · 02/02/2017 22:33

Is going private an option for you OP?

user1480930113 · 03/02/2017 10:13

I have been offered an appointment on Monday so it was worth pushing a little bit on the phone. The nurse was lovely and I just broke down crying and said I couldn't wait a week for this to be done. Can I ask how long is the recovery? I have to go to London on Wednesday for work and need to decided if I will be able to travel. Thank you all for your lovely comments. It's so comforting to know that I'm not alone x

OP posts:

itsgoingtoofast · 03/02/2017 10:31

I think I felt a bit tender for a few days but the bleeding wasn't bad. I would say that regardless of how you feel physically, emotionally you might find Wednesday a bit too soon to travel. Obviously it's a personal thing, but would it be possible to postpone so that you aren't putting too much pressure on yourself?

user1480930113 · 03/02/2017 10:45

Yeah ideally I wouldn't have to go but unfortunately the date has been in the diary for months and it's an Audit so I need to be there. May have to just suck it up for the day :(

OP posts:

TartYvette · 03/02/2017 10:49

I would choose the surgical route as my miscarriage lasted more than four weeks. Either way it is a tough thing to go through but atleast if the bleeding is managed you won't have the worry of it all being normal. The most comforting thing I was told at the time was that it (your grief) will get easier after your due date. And it did, not miraculously but around that time. It also gave me something to aim for.

Gingerbreadmam · 03/02/2017 10:57

Recovery wise for me after erpc i was fine but absolutely shattered from the ga. I came home on the monday and took the rest of the week. I needed it.

Having said that id lost a lot of blood prior to that and was prepped for a transfusion so dont know if that was linked to it.

Cornwall73 · 03/02/2017 11:03

I'm so so sorry about this. I have had two ERPCs at this stage so know what you are going through. Please make sure that you get a dose of anti-biotics to go home with as there is a minor risk of infection. You will probably feel tender in Wednesday and your hormones could be all over the place. Make sure you have paracetamol in your bag and a pack of tissues. Drink lots of water too to keep hydrated. If there is anything that normally cheers you up such as wearing a favourite necklace or a bar of chocolate reward for after the audit - do it! Unfortunately there is a planned tube strike Monday-Wednesday next week so plan ahead for it and give yourself lots of time so you are not caught in a crowd waiting for buses etc. Feeling overwelmed by commuters will be the last thing you need.

Huge, big hugs - mc is awful but we are here for you if you need support.

han01uk · 03/02/2017 11:10

So sorry for your loss.

At my 12 week scan there was no heartbeat,also from around 10 weeks. I know how broken you feel.

I opted for the surgical route and was up in a couple of days and back to normal. Emotionally it takes longer. It happens so suddenly,all your emotions are crushed so quickly. Give yourself time to grieve also. Talk to someone. We planted a tree to remember what could have been.

Will somebody go with you for surgery? Hope so. Try and take it easy for a few days after.

Greenglassteacup · 03/02/2017 12:42

I had the erpc on a Friday afternoon & felt ok for work on the Monday, tired but ok. I needed the distraction to be honest & being busy was good for me.

Greenglassteacup · 03/02/2017 12:43

As others have said, the physical recovery afterwards is quick. Emotionally, that's a different matter. Hope you've got real life support

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