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Tips on coping/ working with pregnant women

(5 Posts)
zaalitje Sun 29-Jan-17 16:42:43

I'm 5+5 today, had an mmc just over a year ago, I'm pretty sure it's about to happen again.

I'm pretty certain I'm about to m/c, I did a second clear blue test and it's stayed on 1-2 rather than the 3+ it should be (or at least 2-3), so obviously my hcg levels aren't rising. Plus i recognise symptoms from last time:- I've had strong stomach cramps on and off since I found out, my boobs are less sore and my spots are back and I've not got morning sickness.

Anyway a work in a small office, just about 12 of us, and one of the other women is pregnant (I'd guess 18 weeks) and her pregnancy is talked about constantly, any suggestions on how to cope with this?

I won't be taking time off, I didn't before, plus having heard the other women discuss pregnancy and m/c before, they feel that an m/c is not much more than a period and something you should shrug off and carry on, so I don't want them thinking I'm skiving at what's a very busy time for us.

I'd just appreciate if anyone could offer advice? I know I'm not going to be able to tell them what's happened due to their views, so need a way to keep myself together if possible please.

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Thingymaboob Sun 29-Jan-17 16:55:20

First of all, don't jump the gun. You don't know if you're miscarrying.
Second of all, I don't know where you work but it sounds hideous! To give the impression that they think a mc is no more than a period is incredibly ignorant and hurtful. Don't put your health and emotional wellbeing at risk because of some insensitive arseholes. As for coping with that pregnant woman, some pregnant women who have never had misfortune of miscarrying will never understand the terrible pain and loss. Be open and honest. If you are miscarrying then take some time off sick - work places normally don't count pregnancy related illness as a period of sick.
First things first, see how things go this week.

zaalitje Sun 29-Jan-17 17:08:25

I know my body, I knew last time and the same signs are back, plus a lot of cramping!

To quote the one woman "after a miscarriage you just pull yourself together don't you? It's just a period after all."

I won't be able to take time off sick, I couldn't last time cause it was only my second week in the job (found out bfp just before I started), and this time it's at the busiest time of the year and no one will be able to pick up my workload. I work for a local authority and several years of budget cuts mean we're already under staffed. I'm not too worried about working though, it's just working with someone who keeps talking about their pregnancy, and if she doesn't the women next to her do. I know it's going to feel like having my nose rubbed in it daily! I just need a way of coping that doesn't involve telling them and opening myself up to gossip and judgement cause I haven't pulled myself together fast enough.

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MulderitsmeX Sun 29-Jan-17 18:41:12

Gosh those women sound vile, are you able to challenge them when they speak that way? Can you ask to be moved desks? TBH they don't sound like they do much ork,

Take time off, tell your boss and don't tell your team why (this is what I did, I just said I had the flu). Can you just ignore the pregnancy talk and immerse yourself in your work? TBH I haven't felt too bad being around other pregnant ladies, I don't join in too much chat, but don't feel to sad when I see them luckily.

Do you meditate? the more you practise the easier it is to do 20 seconds to find that spot of calm, (eyes don't have to be closed).

zaalitje Sun 29-Jan-17 21:16:58

They're not bad women, i normally really like them but a couple just have no idea and speak without thinking that it might impact someone, and the pregnant lady is just sailing through her pregnancy.
I guess m/c is ready enough to shrug off of you've not experienced it, especially earlier in.

I've tried meditation, can't clear my mind just end up ruminating on the things that bug me instead :D

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