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Approaching the due date is it normal to feel so emotional?

(14 Posts)
Snowflakes1122 Sat 21-Jan-17 13:55:04

I lost my baby in July. Stopped growing at 11+3 weeks and had a terrible time with the actual miscarriage. Had an emergency at 13 weeks after losing 3 litres of blood.
Tomorrow my baby would have been due and I'm terribly emotional and keep bursting into tears thinking what I would have been doing had things have been different.

I feel so guilty feeling like this as I'm luckily pregnant again.

Is it normal to be so upset when you approach the due date?

Snowflakes1122 Sat 21-Jan-17 13:55:44

That's meant to say had an emergency d&c at 13 weeks.

letthefunbegin Sat 21-Jan-17 14:05:16

I can only tell you that I found my baby's due date very upsetting. She was stillborn a few weeks before her due date which was just after Christmas. I found it helpful to have a planned walk on the beach on the day. It felt like we were marking the occasion and kept us busy.
I also found New Year and Mothers Day upsetting even though I didn't expect to. They hit me from nowhere.
I think any emotions are completely normal and to be expected. But please don't feel guilty, you have no reason to.

Snowflakes1122 Sat 21-Jan-17 16:44:08

letthefunbegin-I am so sorry for your loss. There are no words sad

Thingymaboob Sat 21-Jan-17 17:04:45

I feel exactly the same. My due date is was June 17. I still cry all the time. My DH and I have just booked a long city break for that weekend and we are planning some nice activities.

MewlingQuim Sat 21-Jan-17 17:07:28

sad flowers

I don't really get upset about the due dates as it wasn't something I focused on that much when I was pregnant, but every year i get upset around the date I lost the pregnancy. I have had quite a few mcs due to a medical condition, including a rather traumatic one at 12w, and there are some annual events in the year (birthdays, christmas etc.) that happened around the time and they suddenly remind me what it was like and then I get very upset.

Christmas eve is particularly bad for me. Not because a mc happened at the time, but because that was when a close friend announced her pregnancy. It was a couple of month after I had lost mine but I thought I would never have a live baby and it just broke me. Every Christmas I am reminded of the despair I felt at that time, even after (eventually) having my DD sad

tasmaniandevilchaser Sat 21-Jan-17 17:09:40

Yes it's normal. I was very upset on my first m/c due date, we did something to mark the day. It does get easier. Congrats on your pg.

FireflyGirl Sun 22-Jan-17 22:27:59

Yes, it's completely normal. I was actually 5 months with DS at the time, but I still found/find it very hard and I still grieve for the baby I lost. And feel guilty because had that pregnancy been successful then DS wouldn't exist.

flowers for you today

TurquoiseDress Sun 22-Jan-17 23:03:12

Yes absolutely normal I feel.

My due date was last month, before Christmas.

Had a MMC at 13 weeks back in the summer.

I felt very all over the place emotionally, thinking about what could and should have been.

The other thing that really got to me was the fact that it was approaching the end of the year and I wasn't yet pregnant again (and still not at the moment!) despite 6 months of TTC.

I think that fact tipped me over the edge a bit, when dealing with the due date alone would have been quite enough.

NeverGoOutOfStyle Fri 27-Jan-17 00:22:11

I'm feeling similar to TurquoiseDress. My due date wasn't until the end of February (28th actually) and I'm starting to feel quite emotional. I've struggled with anxiety these past few months and at the moment I spent quite a lot of time thinking about how I should be feeling and the feelings I had when it first happened are starting to come back and it's quite...intense? If that's the right word for it. I keep thinking about how excited we should be and how different things are because of the loss.

It's also getting to me that 7 cycles of TTC later, still not pregnant again and I keep getting thoughts of having lost my only chance, even though 7 months isn't that long in the scheme of things and first pregnancy was a lovely surprise.

flowers for you all.

YorkshireTeaDrinker Wed 01-Feb-17 09:43:33

Today is my EDD and I am finding it surprisingly hard. This is my second miscarriage. We have been TTC for 6 years without success and the pregnancy that was due today was pretty much my last chance. I am very fortunate in that I already have a 6yo DD (who keeps asking for a sister!).

It's a tough grief to have to face up to.

Snowflakes1122 Thu 02-Feb-17 17:36:22

I'm so sorry to read so many others who have/are feeling the same. It's such a horrible feeling.

One of my friends had a baby around the due date too. Constant reminders there with her lovely photos.

Now the date has passed, I feel like a weights been lifted a little.

I think I've been dreading the due date, and now it's come and (thankfully) gone.

Time is a healer-think there's something in that.

LumelaMme Thu 02-Feb-17 17:44:45

From the outside it's easy to underestimate how upsetting miscarriage can be. It does get better with time, but I can remember being pregnant after miscarrying the previous pregnancy at 10 weeks and feeling pretty shit about the lost baby. It makes me a bit sad even now, almost 20 years and several DC later. It was a baby that never got born: of course it's upsetting, and feeling upset is completely normal.

Blueroses99 Sun 05-Feb-17 09:50:37

My due date was 21st November 2016 and the build up to it was incredibly emotional. We marked the day itself and felt some peace afterwards. I hope you manage to find some peace too.

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