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TTC after NND for 14 months, in need of words of wisdom, advice or hope

(3 Posts)
Seacrown Mon 09-Jan-17 22:09:15

Hi all,

I'm turning to this forum as I am so unsure of where to go and who to talk to anymore.

We lost our son Jonah Oct 2015, 25+3, died 4 days later, no known cause for arrival. TTC since Dec 2015 and nothing so far despite good timing every month. In October we started investigations as I was really struggling coming up to Jonah's first birthday. Results today have shown there are no problems with either my husband or myself but they won't start us on clomid for another 6 months as in theory there's no reason we shouldn't get pregnant.

It's hit us hard to say there's nothing wrong! We've tried every month without fail. I don't know what else to do. We've been attending a bereavement group but all the women there are now pregnant again, Donita become hard for us to attend .

I'm looking for any stories of hope, advice, guidance, stories-anything! I feel like I'm drowning at the minute with little light to guide me. Any words or experiences would be so greatly appreciated


emily86 Tue 10-Jan-17 08:13:09

I'm so sorry you lost your little boy. That must have been, and still be incredibly difficult.

I'm afraid I don't have any stories of hope but I didn't want to read and run and wanted to say I can empathise with the feeling of drowning. I've been TTC since November 2014 and since then I've had 3 miscarriages and now it looks like I've just had a chemical pregnancy straight after the last miscarriage. I'm waiting for my appointment in the recurrent miscarriage clinic.

It is very hard to see any kind of light at the end of the tunnel. All of my friends lives seem to be going in the direction they want them to, at least from the outside anyway, and I feel trapped on this horrible merry go round of TTC, hope, disappointment and failure. Most of the time I just think what the hell am I going to do.

Have you tried any counselling just for you? I had a few sessions last year. I did find it helpful to talk to someone completely removed from the situation, but ultimately there was nothing she could do to change my chances of having a baby which is all I really want.

Sorry, that's turned into a bit of a doom and gloom post!

Itsalwayssunny Thu 12-Jan-17 15:25:00

Sea, I'm so sorry for your loss. My ds was born at 23 + 5 in July 15 and died shortly after and they could find no reason for my early labour. We then started TTC in Feb and nothing happened. I got really obsessed with tracking, opks etc and also saw my GP who wasn't interested. I decided after AF arrived in Nov that I'd stop tracking until after Christmas and just enjoy myself eating and drinking what i wanted, I got my bfp in December. I really think not being so caught up in tracking helped and I took the pressure off myself and it made a lot of difference. Of course it could all just be fluke! What I'm going a really long winded way about saying is, don't give up. Try to take the pressure off yourself ttc although it is so hard to I know. If you are tracking, take a month off.

I had counselling last year and it definitely helped me.

If you have been ttc with no success for 12 months and they have done some tests it may be worth going back and asking for some further help. Seems very unfair for them to make you wait a further 6 months before doing anything further.

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