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Shattered after experience of miscarriage in hospital

(11 Posts)
user1478471170 Thu 29-Dec-16 21:17:11

Hi. I've never posted before but I really need some support. I found out we had lost our precious second baby at 11 weeks. We found out just before Christmas. It was a missed miscarriage and our wee baby probably died just after we had our reassurance scan at 7 weeks. I was devastated but coping. I stared bleeding on Christmas Eve and this continued until the 27th when I began having what felt like contractions. I called the hospital ward as I'd been told to and was then told to go straight there. I'd decided that I wanted a general anaesthetic to clear everything but when I got to the ward I was told that this wasn't an option any longer. I was to be given tablets which would bring on the miscarriage. As it was late at night my husband was sent home and I was told to undress naked and put on a hospital gown. I was given an internal examination and was told to cough several times which pushed out some pregnancy tissue. I can't even begin to explain how vulnerable and distressed I felt at this point. I was naked and bleeding everywhere and just distraught. After they took me to a room and I was given the tablets which were to go inside me. Painful contractions started soon after. I was in so much pain and was crying my eyes out. They gave me painkillers including morphine but the pain didn't stop. I ended up with about 10 changes of bedding, hospital gowns and pads. At about 4am they said they'd need to give me more tablets and I became hyseterical. I ended up in the chair with the stirrups again pushing the pregnancy out. I am just absolutely traumatised by what happened. Although all the staff were lovely, I just felt so vulnerable and embarrassed and horrified by what was happening. I've been a mess since I got home yesterday. I'd read many threads about this treatment and people have said it was like a bad period. I didn't find it like this at all and feel bad that maybe I was just being pathetic. I feel completely traumatised and devastated and I can't stop crying when I think about myself in that room with the stirrups and the pushing and all the blood. Sorry for the long post. sad

Rac23 Thu 29-Dec-16 21:26:47

Oh my god - that is terrible. Im at home waiting for mine to come away.
Im so angry for you. You shouldnt have been treat like that. Are you in uk? I think we get a tablet you swallow that starts contractions and forces it out. I honestly think that was not the norm. Im traumatised for you what an experience - I would make a complaint. Child birth has its moments but that is beyong humane. What was the point of the stirrups? !!

Capricornandproud Thu 29-Dec-16 21:27:12

Oh lovey, I'm so sorry this happened to you. The one piece of practical advice I can offer, having been through a similar situation myself, is write everything down while it's fresh in your head. It will help in the future if you want answers or to make an investigation or complaint. Also, it WILL help with the healing process eventually but that's a long way away.

As hard as it is, try to focus on grieving for your little one and letting your body heal. Take your painkillers, get some sleep and share these thoughts with close friends, family or a DP. Why on earth weren't you offered a D & C? It's utterly ridiculous. You poor thing xxx

LittleGinge Thu 29-Dec-16 21:33:15

Maybe stirrups isn't the right word. I was in a brightly lit room in the chair that has the high foot rests. The gynaecologist was there and a nurse. I know myself well enough to know that I'm not brave enough to cope with the pregnancy being removed with me conscious. But that was what ended up happening. I'm quite shy and found being naked and bleeding and standing there covered in blood totally traumatic. Second time around it was about half four in the morning and I was just a mess by that point.

Rac23 Thu 29-Dec-16 21:33:46

It will be xmas staff and noone available to do it - weve had similar been told it has to be after new year - not funny

LittleGinge Thu 29-Dec-16 21:35:17

Rac23 that's awful. Are you just to get on with it yourself? X

MollyHuaCha Thu 29-Dec-16 22:01:09

So sad. What a terrible experience. Sending flowers and big hugs to you OP and to others who have lost babies too. 💐💕

appleseedpip Thu 29-Dec-16 22:31:21

I'm so sorry to hear your awful experience and loss.. sad although it was terrible I really hope you can let go of your anger and give yourself some time and much needed care to heal and emotionally mend.

I'm not quite sure why they called you in when you started your contractions as it seemed it was all happening for you naturally (which is thought to be a better way to do things) as usually they let you MC at the comfort of your home with your partner.. which was what I did last Saturday.. It was an awful experience which I have tried to forget the last couple of days but thankful that it was at home with all my comforts and husband around me. I think when you're ready you could raise these issues with the hospital and will hopefully put your anger and mind at peace.. I'm hoping that they were only trying to think of the best for your with on call care.. but it this may have not been a necessary situation for you. Take care of yourself and be sure to rest xxx

Rac23 Thu 29-Dec-16 22:58:16

Yes littleginge - just been sent home

LittleGinge Thu 29-Dec-16 23:16:17

Sending love to you. X

LittleGinge Thu 29-Dec-16 23:18:44

Appleseedpip I'm not angry at all. The staff were all lovely. I'm just beyond sad and devastated at what happened. I'm not blaming anyone. I understand that is the way it is. I'm just so horrified that it was as brutal.

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