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What to do with baby?

(13 Posts)
TheManicMummy Tue 27-Dec-16 20:10:29

I can't get baby cremated because baby is too small and still in the sac... I miscarried this evening and I have heard of some people burying baby in a plant pot with a plant. Originally I wanted a cremation.

I was wondering, would it be ok to buy and urn and put the baby in that with soil and seal the urn? Like a cremation? Or would this not be a good idea? Any advice would be appreciated x

KittyandTeal Tue 27-Dec-16 20:14:23

I'm so sorry you have lost your baby.

I don't know about soil in a sealed urn, I can't see why not tbh. Might be a strange suggestion but you could give a local funeral home a call and ask what they think. Most do free services for babies so they would have experience of what the implications are of this plan.

I absolutely understand your desire to have your baby at home with you.

TheManicMummy Tue 27-Dec-16 20:34:18

Thanks for replying... I am thinking of definitely putting baby in an urn with some soil. I know to some people it would sound strange but I just couldn't flush my baby down the toilet. Something about it wasn't right for me. Same way as the plant isn't right for me with two children at home if they'd knock the plant over or something I'd be devastated xxx

Nospringflower Tue 27-Dec-16 20:35:58

I buried mine in the garden under a plant but without the urn. Sorry for your loss.

LillyLollyLandy Tue 27-Dec-16 20:38:38

I bought a special plant and pot, and buried mine there. It sits outside my kitchen window, and strangely, flowers around the anniversary of my loss every year. It brings me a lot of comfort.

McKTastic Tue 27-Dec-16 20:47:13

Am sorry for your loss. We lost twins just after our 12 week scan. If you get a death certificate - your GP can write you one - you can have a cremation.

We wrapped & froze the remains, placed them in an urn with a few momentos on the morning we said goodbye then drove to the creamatorium with them on my lap. It was only me & DH there - not for everyone but our undertaker was very understanding & it was the right thing for us at the time x

TheManicMummy Tue 27-Dec-16 21:11:06

Will they give me. Death certificate for an 8 week baby? X

TwoAndTwoEqualsChaos Tue 27-Dec-16 21:18:07

When I had a miscarriage, we buried it the other side of the headstone of our stillborn Daughter's grave, with the permission of the Church where she is buried. The Rector said several prayers as we stood there.

McKTastic Tue 27-Dec-16 21:28:18

I can't remember if it was a death cert or something more specific but we def got one (two actually bce they were twins) from our GP as it was a legal requirement for the crematorium. If you feel able you could wrap yours in a cloth etc, put in a wee box & keep in the freezer till you speak to GP/undertaker if you want to pursue. Obviously very personal & different suggestions made here. Best Wishes with what you decide x

TheManicMummy Tue 27-Dec-16 21:35:18

Baby at the moment has been wrapped up and put in the freezer until we can decide on what to do... I can't believe how much a small urn actually costs? Can anyone suggest any U.K. Websites?

KittyandTeal Wed 28-Dec-16 07:29:34

No you won't get a death certificate. It is only baby's born after 24 weeks need a birth and death certificate.

Our hospital does a memories book for babies if they are born there. We have one for our dd2 who was born at 22 weeks and ds who we lost at 14 weeks.

The soil in an urn doesn't sound strange at all. I was just wondering if a funeral home could give you advice on what to do to make sure it is correctly sealed, you might need to get all the air out or something.

LardLizard Wed 28-Dec-16 21:12:03

You. Can get a death cert before 24 if the baby is born alive
Which obv it wouldn't have been that early

I'm sure you could get an urn online

Sorry for your loss

Ilovecaindingle Wed 28-Dec-16 21:15:43

I lost my 8 week tiny one in June. I was at a friends house and she was out. When she returned I took a few moments to gather my thoughts and she lit her wood burner. I said goodbye and placed the wrapped up tiny bundle. . I am hoping it was legal tbh. But it's done now. Sorry for your loss. And to everyone else who should still be pregnant this Christmas time.

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