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Worst Xmas Ever: PG, MC, TTC, mixed emotions (all awful) aaarrgh help please

(5 Posts)
veryberrybug Tue 27-Dec-16 16:00:54

Rollercoaster Xmas. 7th Dec found out was PG (with copper coil in). Shocked (have 2 DDs at High School). Really happy & DP v chuffed. Doc says gotta get coil out, longer it's left = more risk of MC. Coil out -> next day MC, 13th Dec. Devastated. But hoping to TTC again. Bleeding finished. Chat with DP xmas eve - he's defo not up for TTC. Double Devastation. It was the only thought that was getting me through. He was so happy with the surprise I thought he'd be up for it. Now everything's so crappy & bleak & pointless. Looked up MN for comfort, found ref to pregnancy continuing with coil in. Am now beating myself up because it never occurred to me I could do that - feeling like I've just lost my last chance cos I just did what GP said. Supersad. Anyone else had this happen? How can I get through?? DDs gone out & I just been howling all afternoon.

Thingymaboob Tue 27-Dec-16 16:13:10

From what I know, pregnancies can continue with coil but it's very very unlikely. By the sounds of it, you have two older children and were using contraception so we're not planning a pregnancy. Of course that doesn't take away the tremendous loss you feel. Just remember, you are full of pregnancy hormones right now and your feelings may settle down as things pass. I had MC 2 months ago, cried for a month and all I could think about was ttc again but now I'm feeling far more settled. Give it time for your hormones to settle and then think about whether it's really what you want.

veryberrybug Tue 27-Dec-16 16:45:18

Thankyou thingymaboob, I think it's felt like a wake up call because I always wanted more kids but didny cos i was blighted by PND, & recurring depression too, so had settled on a "well I'll just keep taking the tablets for the sake of the rest of the family & enjoy what I've got, oh well sigh" but now my mental health has been so good for so long & I just felt with this one "hurrah! We're actually gonnae get another chance & we can do this!" Now it feels like the second chance we were given has reawakened all this other longing that was muffled for so long & then the chance has been cruelly taken away so swiftly sad Thanks for the hormonal warning though & sorry about your MC, glad to hear you're feeling more settled now.

Thingymaboob Tue 27-Dec-16 19:20:35

That's ok. Hope you and your DH can work it out.
One of the reasons I'm not ttc again for now is my MH. Been an absolute mess.

veryberrybug Wed 28-Dec-16 12:00:24

Oh you poor love. GWS. We had another big sobbing chat last night. Nothing is fixed but we're talking. Just keep crying everywhere. Hate this.

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